Confused!

LegacyUser

ok guys basically i have always been a straight girl. never ever contemplated being anyways attracted to another girl.

then over the last few weeks ive got on really well with a friend and now i seem to have some feelings towards her. she is a lesbian but i knew that before and it was all the same to me. i have never looked at other woman this way in my whole life.that is why i cant understand where these feelings have come from? im

do you reckon it could be just that we have become closer in the last while? or is there actual feelings there.

just want your opinions as i dont know what to think

thanks

Stark

Hard to say. I do know girls who haven't discovered they were lesbians until their late 20s (and there's probably girls who didn't find out until even later).

It can be hard to distinguish feelings of deep friendship from romanctic feelings. In can be quite normal to want to spend all your time with someone and not become romanctically attached to someone.

You really need to ask yourself, do you want to be with her or "be" with her?

Hmm_Messiah

Like the dude said you can discover the full extent of your sexuality at any stage of life.

But going with my gut feeling (I'm an empathic don't ya know) it may be that you have found this extra ordinary friend, and two things are influencing matters:
1. Our lovely inhibited society hasn't really worked out how to deal with intimate(non romantic) friendships
2. Your head, being influenced of course by the world we live in, is also aware of the fact this girl is lesbian, so joins the dots and decide "oh this level of closeness must be of the sexual/romantic kind"

Not sure if I said that in a way that makes sense. I don't in any way mean to say your a slave to social norms/values/rules and can't recognise your own feeling.

Simply some people are so extra ordinary, so special to us, joy and concern confuse us.

Of course often people we find extra ordinary and special become people we want to be with in a unique exclusive romantic way.

I guess a way of distinguishing if its very unclear is to do what the other poster said ( my short term meory is shot)
look atthe possibilities if you were to walk either path , be graphic in your understanding of where things would go in each direction regardign intimacy, physicality, emotions, commitments etc etc, and you will may become aware that one direction feels more comfortable and natural, or inate to yourself.

Good luck either ways, and congrats on meeting some one special.

I believe (slipping into his odd vein of Magick) that one time all things were One, and that split into so many many pieces, planets, and water, and ideas, and people, etc etc. This Oneness is wha some would call God or a Soul. So I understand each person is unique but also a particle of what was once One thing, One Soul. When we meet extra ordinary people we have found some one that was close to us in the One, and so have moved ourselves and the world closer to divinity. Hence a big thing to rejoice in !!! Add a big emotional impact.

Here endeth todays lesson

Boston

You already have the answer to your questions, the trick is finding it. Do whatever feels rights to you, It's entirely possible that it's because she is a lesbian that your able to get this close to her, as appose to other women. You should find out pretty quickly where you stood by trying some thigns out with her, but frankly you run the risk of loosing a friend. Part of the reason she is so close to you could be that your straight and she's under no pressure.

Persuming she's up for it, do you see yourself as being in a relationship with her. is it pratical in the least? Worst case scenario (barring loosing a friend) is you've had sex with some who you care deeply about and who cares deeply about you, and you've learn't something about yourself. Doesn't seem that bad.

Dinxminx

This doesn't necessarily make any difference but just out of interest, what age are you OP?

fozzle

Don't rush into anything. I have a couple of straight female friends who I have an amazing bond with, there's a huge amount of love there, but I'd never sleep with or even kiss them. Sometimes it can be hard to distinguish between a deep friendship and something more, and I can see how in your situation it would be even more confusing.

Don't try and button-hole yourself too quickly, lots of people never match society's labels, and to assume you're bisexual or lesbian on the basis of one connection with a friend (or even on the basis of a kiss or whatever) is perhaps a big assumption. I'd say don't do anything yet, your head might sort itself out in time. As someone said, do you want to be with her or be with her?

Hmmm, I suspect I'm starting to ramble somewhat, apologies.

Don't be hasty, if you are homosexual and you and this friend are meant to be together, then you'll still be meant to be together in a few weeks/months time, and perhaps by then you'll have a better idea of where you stand, in your own head as well as with your friend. At the end of the day only you can know who you're attracted to, so it's down to what feels right to you.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

hey people,

thanks for all the advice. thought everything was going fine until the last night the two of us ended up kissing.i dont know what to think at all now. she says it was nothing and feels bad for kissing me when im not sure about things but i think i wanted it to happen and now im in even more of a dilema.

she said it wouldnt happen again but that has made me think even more with her being the only girl ive ever had any kind of feelings. she doesnt want to ruin the friendship which is the same as me but this is really big for me as ive never been on this path before with a girl.

i just dont know what to do!

help again!!!

Boston

This maybe too late to be of any use, but stop over analysing things and trying to get all the issues work out a head of time. If you have feelings for the girl get them sorted out before asking all these questions and sexuality. To others I would seem very confident about my sexuality, truth is I'm just as confused as you or anyone else here, the thing is though, I know how I feel in my heart for my boyfriend. It's the only thing I'm sure of.

Hmm_Messiah

LiouVille is right, when you give your head some peace your heart will usually lead you wisely. And life is an adventure; you just have to go in some doors not knowing where you'll come out. True friendships survive everything; they change occasionally, but no reason for change to be a bad thing.

At this point maybe your friend is who you share the concerns/feelings you've put here.

I hope it works out well for you; I mean this in a nice way - i "envy" the extraordinary mix of feelings you are right now experiencing.

PAX