How can I help?

jordata

Hi All,
I am wondering if anyone can help with a tricky situation. I am an adult literacy tutor and at the moment I am working with a student who is the mother of 2 young children. As I have 2 children around the same age we often have discussions about children and parenting. I have to say that I am horrified at her parenting skills - or lack of them. I don't blame her. She really is doing the best she can with the knowledge and experience she has. I am wondering if there is any agency I could point her towards that might help her out and teach her some parenting skills? I would not want to put her family at risk or have the children taken away. She really does the best she knows how to. I think she probably treats them as she was treated when she was a child and she thinks this is normal. Her literacy skills are very poor so I can't suggest any of the parenting books. All I could think of was Dr. Phil (though I am not a fan myself). She might pick up some hints there.
I watched my 2 children play together today and thought of her children. I shed a little tear for them. Any ideas at all would be great.
Thank you.

Nevyn

http://www.familycaring.co.uk/course_parents.htm

earlier thread

Most health nurses would know of classes in thier area, and most primary schools do infact runn the above calsses, usaully one morning a week during school hours. Thse are where parts of the book are read alous andthere is a
vidoe and some roleplay and other parentins talking bout thier little darlings

The books are broken down into little sections, and have cartoons explaining.

ArthurDent

Any chance you can suggest a mother and toddler group to her, if her kids are in that age group. I know that certainly worked for a neighbour of mine who was having a hard time and had a lack of support and parenting skills. She made friends with women the same age as herslf and picked up tips and became more confident.

Also quite a few parishes run some type of support systems - we had a mum in the school I'm involved in that was very isolated etc and we contacted a Parish Priest in the area, who put us in contact with others in her community (she was a newly arrived foreign national). He was very discrete and helpful
and sometimes those involved in parish work can tap into voluntary services. I was very impressed with him - he didn't have to get involved - we were a multidenominational school so didn't fall under his remit etc and didn't have to be so helpful.

just some suggestions - hope you find some help for this woman and her kids

Nevyn

I know our primary school overs places in the parenting clases to the members
of the parent and toddler group that funs near by, the idea being that the younger the kids are when the paretns to the classes the better for everyone.

Blinda

I teach Positive Parenting < 13 years & Surviving Teens 13> also co-auther of programme which has 'Literacy skills' as the first consideration when delivering the programme.
Parenting skills has always been the first line role of all Public Health nurses who's remit is dealing with families and babies/children. Nowdays as with everything the Parenting bit has been taken out and sold for profit by some organisations.
Real Parenting skills can only be learned alongside human-child-development-needs, to give insight with reasons for human behaviours before one can to manage this effectively.
I would recommend the PH nurse as the first port of call particularily for this young mother. Programmes which give examples of how to manage behaviours without the theoretical background (child development) in conjunction with her own experience of outdated parenting cannot offer any meaningful learning curve.
Of course we all in our daily work-life meet parents who are very needy, but first and foremost we must remember that Children cannot protect themselves. They come first and must be protected. That is the responsibility of all of us even if we have sympathy for parents struggles.