Sleeping with cheating Bisexuals.

LegacyUser

Ok, basically i'm looking for vindication even though I know i'm wrong. How wrong is it to sleep with a bisexual who is cheating on their significant other? Some people seem to have a perfect life for the public by having a stable heterosexual boyfriend/girlfriend but sleep with someone of the same sex on the side, basically just for the sex. My problem is that i have a habit of sleeping with these guys (in my case).

In one case i was not so much lied to as the truth of his girlfriend was kept from me (though i did sleep with him once again after i'd found out about her...hell i'd even met her!). Now i'm considering sleeping with someone else and i know they have a girlfriend! It's their idea, and i know deep down that i should say No, but i guess i'm being selfish because i want to.

I guess who's the bigger bastard me or them?

Boston

You have no commitement to there patner, they do. That said think of your own personal wealth and the value you place in yourself. Ask yourself why you feel the need to be with these men, that basically, as you've said only want to fuk you. Don't you deserve someone who will love you and want to be with you for you, instead of because there in a sexless marriage?

azezil

I've been in a similar situation, first time was an accident, drunk he was upset, I was comforting him, one thing lead to another... but then it happened again, but this time he just wanted sex, it felt so wrong, so shallow. I just couldn't look at him the same way afterwards I lost all feelings for him altogether, he became like nothing more than an object to me, thus will never do it again.

My advise, in the long run, its just not worth it, you're left feeling empty inside and alone.

Hmm_Messiah

that some one can cheat on their partner with you is an obvious indication that they don't value care/affection/commitment so you'll NEVER have that kind of relationship with them.

If its a sex thing, well he is responsible to his partner not you; the fact you seem in this situation often would make me wonder. Are you deliberately seeking physical encoiunters where its garuanteed not to leaad to something more - affectionate,, wholesome.

If so that can be ok too , depending on how you see yourself/the world, but as a generality it would be a bad thing and a distortion of the most complete role sex can have in your life.

Saying NO once might be good as an exercise of your will if nothing else.. Behaviour is a learned thing, you coud have just got caught up in a "habit". I think you even suggest that. That you posted here suggests you're not fully comfortable with that habit so change it.

Finding out who is the biggest bastard would not lessen the feeling that you are a bastard (of any size)

ANd its probaly cliched etc etc, but can you for a moment imagine how it would hurt you to discover YOUR partner was cheating on you, and that cheating was part of a bigger lie/withholding of truth?

btw I've no significant other (joke!)

fozzle

Don't do it!

It's a pity that you haven't found someone who'll want you for more than just sex, but it will happen, and in the meantime all you're doing is hurting yourself and your selfrespect by satisfying these guys wishes to be unfaithfull.

As a bisexual my pet rant is people who use their "bisexuality" as an excuse to be unfaithfull, I reckon if your partner thinks you're in a monogamous relationship then that's what you do, cheating's cheating, be it with a guy or a girl.

These guys are using you, don't let them, you're worth more than that, and since it obviously makes you uncomfortable/upset (or you wouldn't be posting here), then definately steer clear, don't hurt yourself for someone else who is obviously not willing to become fully emotionally attached to anyone.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

Some good advice there guys, thanks. Basically i went through with it, and as azezil said, i felt empty afterwards and used. But it'll only happen the once, it was so awful i can't bring myself to think about him without feeling disgusted. The same thing happened last time and he was a friend, now i can't even look at him.

I guess if i want to stop getting burnt i should stop playing with fire!

memphis

I may come across as a bast@rd here, but I have to say I see nothing wrong with this guy wanting a bit on the side, once its a no strings attached thing. However from what I read this is not what you (original poster) want from this, and as Fozzle righfully said above, you do deserve better.

In oder for it to be a no strings attached bit of fun, or both parties simply being **** buddies there needs to be an understanding that thats all it is, that both want just that. But because one side in this relation wants more, and they deserve more then I say its not worth being that bit on the side for these blokes.

Yoda

If the bi who wants some on the side has permission and agreement with his/her partner, that is one thing. The bi who cheats... is a cheater. Sexuality irrelevant.

From the other side... well, Guest, "the other woman" as the films have it is not blameless, if "she" knows that her fling is partnered.

fozzle

Yoda wrote:

If the bi who wants some on the side has permission and agreement with his/her partner, that is one thing. The bi who cheats... is a cheater. Sexuality irrelevant.

Precisely. Anyone who uses sexuality as an excuse for cheating deserves to be alone.