2 jokes

EricM

A lobbyist, on his way home from work in Washington, D.C., came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself that the traffic seemed worse than usual.

He noticed a police officer walking between the lines of stopped
cars, so he rolled down his window and asked, "Officer, what's the hold-up?"

The officer replied, "The President is depressed, so he stopped his
motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with gasoline and set himself on fire. He says no one believes his stories about why we went to war in Iraq, or the worsening deficit and economy, or that his tax cuts won't help anyone except his wealthy friends. So we're taking up a collection for him."

The lobbyist asks, "How much have you got so far?"

The officer replied, "About four gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning."

A blonde and a brunette purchased a farm in Louisiana,
but they needed a bull. It was decided that the brunette
would take $200 and go to Chicago to buy the bull. She
purchased the bull for $197 and went to send her friend
a telegram. The clerk told her the telegram would cost
three dollars per word to Louisiana. The brunette thought
for a moment, then decided to send one word: "Comfortable."

The clerk was puzzled and asked, "How will your friend
know what you mean?"

The brunette replied, "Well, you see, my friend is a little
slow, so when she gets this, she'll read: 'Com-for-da-bul.'

Tyrrial

not bad....

petes

Second one was good.

Linoge

First one was good. Second one, train to Auschwitz.