What's the dumbest thing you've done while drunk?

Kernel

Dr.Feelgood wrote:

My those Socialists are an eager bunch-

Do they sit outside pubs to get drunk people to sign their nutty socialist petitions that never get to see print & join their socialist nutty party-

No offense any socialists out there but really - take a few deep breaths and move on

You should have gone to a meeting or two as you clearly don't understand socialism. The EU is a mainly socialist body .... Is social welfare, free healthcare, government pensions for OAPs and trade union/employment rights nutty? :rolleyes:

Altheus

When I was 17. drinking some very good beer, purchased with a fake ID....

About 1AM, myself and two friends decided it would be hilarious to put some bollards on the main road between Maynooth and Leixlip.

So we did.

Jump into a bush at the roadside, and wait...

Car pulls up, stops and removes the bollards.

Now we didnt get a great view hiding in the bush, so we decide to try it again. A car comes very quickly, and peering out, it becomes obvious that the man in the car in wearing an illuminous jacket... and the car has an illuminous stripe... Gardai!

So we run, well two of us do, and find a hiding spot under a parked juggernaught, while our other quite pissed friend waddles his way round the corner.

In the knowledge that he's about to get caught the two of us get up to grab him, and sure enough, behind him is the Garda man...

Drunk and Disorderly, Breach of the Peace, and possesion of a deadly weapon (a wooden catapult my sister got me in spain)....

Haven't really tried anything like it since.

BizzyC

I scored some ugly bird so her friend would give me a lift home.

Other than that,

Me and a few mates were in glasthule, we saw the guards flying around in their vans looking for someone so we decided to stand in the middle of the road and run when the guards saw us.
Off we ran, 3 of them ran into a house, while me and the other guy ran in the opposite direction, and were caught.
When asked why we were running away my friend replied :"We were just playing chasing"
He didn't look too pleased. Luckily though he got a call over the radio and had to fly off before he could say anything else to us.

Kingp35

BizzyC wrote:

I scored some ugly bird so her friend would give me a lift home.

Other than that,

Me and a few mates were in glasthule, we saw the guards flying around in their vans looking for someone so we decided to stand in the middle of the road and run when the guards saw us.
Off we ran, 3 of them ran into a house, while me and the other guy ran in the opposite direction, and were caught.
When asked why we were running away my friend replied :"We were just playing chasing"
He didn't look too pleased. Luckily though he got a call over the radio and had to fly off before he could say anything else to us.

Very true. I was the loser who ran into the house.

Also on that night we found a christmas tree and decided to have a bit of a laugh with it so what we did was we took the tree and leaned up against somebodys front door then we knocked on the door. When they opened the fron the door this huge big christmas tree fell in on top of them. I thought was hilarious and before your wondering what age we are I think we were about 18 or so at the time. Quality stuff

Easygainer

I should make a book of what I've done when pissed! Worst though would probably be taking a dump when hammered in the 16th hole of a golf course and using the flag for "relief".... no wonder I had to stop drinking, I was a menace.

snakeater

I left a bag containing my mobile phone, wallet and ipod in the pub. I was so pissed I just walked out and left it there. The next day when I went down to get it back I found my bag in a laneway next to the pub. All the contents gone. :mad:

qz

Easygainer wrote:

I should make a book of what I've done when pissed! Worst though would probably be taking a dump when hammered in the 16th hole of a golf course and using the flag for "relief".... no wonder I had to stop drinking, I was a menace.

ewwwwwwwwwwwww!

rugbug86

Easygainer wrote:

I should make a book of what I've done when pissed! Worst though would probably be taking a dump when hammered in the 16th hole of a golf course and using the flag for "relief".... no wonder I had to stop drinking, I was a menace.

do they not take the flags out at night-time? and how did you use the flag, in intrigued!

besty

snakeater wrote:

I left a bag containing my mobile phone, wallet and ipod in the pub. I was so pissed I just walked out and left it there. The next day when I went down to get it back I found my bag in a laneway next to the pub. All the contents gone. :mad:

yikes :eek:

Sam Vimes

fell off a toilet, hitting my head off the side of the bath and causing what i can only describe as a friction burn. an orange oval on my temple for about a month

skinny dipping in some bay in galway

cartwheeled across o connel street

tried to go for a swm in the liffey. fair play to the gards. 5 cars there between me hopping the wall and going down the steps. glad they did. i wudve died

threatened to shoot a bouncer in a light hearted way. when he asked if i just threatend him i said "i think that if i say yes your legally allowed to kill me so...no".

jumped in many a bush

brought all the wheelie bins in an estate to one front garden. they had a pink 4x4 and were asking for it. the confused look on the bin mens faces the next day was priceless

ran thru my estate with a mate wearing only boxers until we were seen by two gards in a van and told to go home. the two of us and one of the gards cudnt stop laughing. the other gard was very serious

ill post more as i remember them

Tar.Aldarion

Dr.Feelgood wrote:

Tar.Aldarion
You think their sould be a boards courtroom, for those who have a valid argument against their ban or prison sentence-surely before prison their should be a court-

ya that would be cool!
rarely people have valid reasons but i have seen some and it would be good to have an impartial person in there too!

Doctor D-Man

-got kicked out of the same club 3 times...

-got polluted on Buckfast and Dutch Beer and had my eyebrow shaved off...

-once i went on a kindof weeklong drinking session, drinking from maybe 4pm till 2am, not eating, waking up and wondering whether it was day or night and then starting drinking again, watching tv (which seemed 2 make no sense) and falling in and out of conciousness. I was also in college lectures at the time. I don't know how but I usually woke up in time 4 em but they were the weirdest lectures ever. I remember going in..my clothes stinking of cigarette smoke and drink, and just passing out on the benches while taking notes. It was really weird though, especially trying to return to normality after that week.

-tried running home once and ended up in the middle of nowhere.. i dont know why but i just kept running. eventually i sobered up and i was like "what the **** am i dong"

cant think of much more right now..post more later

passive

Paris, last August, 3am... oh the memories.

Met a bunch of random people at the Eifell tower, got talking and headed back to their hostel with them for some more drinks. Halfway there the american girl i'm chatting with/up decides she really has to pee so we've to run. I discard my half bottle of wine behind a parking metre and on we go...

Drink, drugs, kissing an american girl 5 or 6 years older than me (i'm 18 ) follows that before the hostel closes up and my friend and I head back towards the centre. Halfway there, lo and behold, is a bottle of wine . So i picked it up and drank it en route to the seine...

as we stand there drinking and chain smoking 2 guys come up to us and start talking. Being incredibly drunk i just chatted back to them, they offered us hash or something and i was like "ooh, i like hash!"... (unfathomably drunk)
phase in 20 minutes later and one of them is grabbing my friend and rooting through his pockets as we try to leave. I, on the other hand, am locked in a handshake with the other guy who has his other hand in his jacket pocket in a "I have a weapon" implying fashion.

So...realising they're being hostile but not really understanding the situation... I yell "AU REVOIR SI VOUS PLAIT" over and over again... until he lets go and we walk off. One of my friends lost a phone and some change, the other some cigarettes. I got away scot free! Hurrah for parisian wine!

(oh yeah, and five minutes later when my friend explained we'd just been mugged I yelled "what? let's go back and get our stuff!!" and tried to turn the other two soberer and shocked guys around to counter-mug the bastards..)

GOAT_BOY

oh man, people are idiots, but this is some funny ****!!:D

Sarky

I posted on Boards.ie, and missed a couple of spelling errors.

I was mortified.

Wacker

At a friend's 21st years ago, I (while only moderately drunk, to be honest) got a mate to kick me in the crotch as a present for the girl who's party it was. For some reason I didn't think my best of the Clash CD was enough! His first three attempts were useless; all grazing off my thigh and stuff. The fourth one was right on the money. Unfortunately, I found the strength to get up for one more. It was hideous. Thirty minutes of pain. Kind of fun though, in a really masochistic way. I can' feel the pain now, but I can still feel the cheers!

weemcd

Wacker wrote:

At a friend's 21st years ago, I (while only moderately drunk, to be honest) got a mate to kick me in the crotch as a present for the girl who's party it was. For some reason I didn't think my best of the Clash CD was enough! His first three attempts were useless; all grazing off my thigh and stuff. The fourth one was right on the money. Unfortunately, I found the strength to get up for one more. It was hideous. Thirty minutes of pain. Kind of fun though, in a really masochistic way. I can' feel the pain now, but I can still feel the cheers!

Probably best you won't be able to reproduce after that, you know natural selection etc.

boneless

Asked my first (and last!!) wife to marry me... I nearly gave up the drink 'cause of that. Another time, in the jacks of a pub I made a sizest comment about a lads "lad"... he told me to f##k off in a London accent. My reply: "You poor man, and your English as well!!" My mates had to stop him kicking the crap out of me.

big issue

ok I got kinky with my boyfriend in a childs playhouse and got his product in my eye. I fell ova takin a wee and bare in mind im a girl. I ran down the road naked and when I got down the road two people said oh my god there's a girl naked. I robbed a campaign poster of a pole. Played random games of nick-knacs at like four in the morning. When pole dancing i ripped my skirt and i was wearing a g-string and everybody cud c my ass.

scojones

Slept in a shopping trolley... I couldn't get out of the feckin thing, had an argument with a rock once too.

BloodBath

-tried running home once and ended up in the middle of nowhere.. i dont know why but i just kept running. eventually i sobered up and i was like "what the **** am i dong"

Is your name Forest Gump by any chance?

Riamfada

Everytime I wanted to break up with me ex I would get drunk and close my eyes, think of england and have sex with her. Not the most manly way of continuing a relationship with somone you hate but Ewwww..
xxx mim

Dizzyblabla

SeanPuddin wrote:

....brought a cork girl back to my appartment... bad experience

You must've picked the wrong Cork Girl!!!!

cmcquaid

-got kicked out of the redbox for trying to climb over some fence to get into the vip place outside. walked back in 5 mins later the bouncer that threw us out seen us and tried to pull us into some back room but we escaped and then went for a piss in the fountain walked down to some strip club where they asked me how many i had to drink and i said 2-3 and promptly collapsed in a heap. good times
-went to a disco in the middle of nowhere about 15 miles away from home lost my friends and had no credit so i couldnt order a taxi so decided to walk home on a really dark road then decided to hitchhike home and i got a lift into town and went down to my friends house where i fell asleep and when i woke up i didnt have a clue where i was for about 5 minutes

BizzyC

Thought of some more.

When on a rugby trip in belgium at the age of 16, drank 35 beers over the course of the day, fell asleep in a dark alley next to a brothel as a few of my team-mates used the facilities. When they eventually found me, we went back to the hostel and had a beer, and I quickly fell asleep on the staircase, so they all put hair removal cream in my eyebrows...not fun to wash your own eyebrows off, then got really angry, tried to start a fight but took it out on the metal staircase instead, really hurting my hand.

Robbed a campiagn poster off a pole about 30 mins walk away from my house so I just held it up on the way shouting "Vote no" to everyone who passed.

Ate an uncooked sausage while severely drunk/stoned, felt a bit dizzy, got up to go home and fell backwards, hitting my head off the kitchen counter which nearly knocked me out.

Tried to walk from blackrock to bray at 3 in the morning, got as far as dalkey and decided to sleep on a bench(middle of winter) and wait for the first dart. I had forgotten that a mate of mine lived around the corner from the bench.

Slept on a little speedboat in dun laoighre harbour(also in the winter) with no roof.

Son_of_Belial

Easygainer wrote:

I should make a book of what I've done when pissed! Worst though would probably be taking a dump when hammered in the 16th hole of a golf course and using the flag for "relief".... no wonder I had to stop drinking, I was a menace.

Lmao! Yeah, I did that once as well, but it was the 4th hole and after wiping myself with the flag I stuck it back into my "deposit." I was about 16 at the time.

*Page*

when the young teachers in my school were out one night (25-9) one of them started chatting me up (20 at the time) next monday in class was a laugh!!! cause he didnt notice who i was out of my uniform but when he seen me on monday morning he put 2+2 together

amazingemmet

We (me and three of my mates) were in whelans about six weeks ago getting locked and enjoying a stimulant if you catch my drift so by the end of the night we were quite fcuked as you'd expect and were walking home i'd pulled some girl so we went our seperate ways. And my mates said they were just going back to L's place

So on their way home they start mooning cars normal for them, then just as their getting near L's house he goes ' If i run down to centra naked ill you do it with me' so the other lads agree. Cue 2-3 hrs of running around rathmines ranelagh area in the nip, standing in peoples gardens throwing stones at the windows til they woke up to see naked people in their garden, dicks being put through letterboxes.

Eventually they got caught by a gard who as just finishing her shift and got told to grow up.

murphaph

Not sure it's the dumbest thing but I once tried to pay for a taxi with receipts from B&Q and Boots. I could've sworn it was money. Bloke was none too impressed and came after me yelling the odds.

Oh, one time I was fcuked out of a club onto the pavement, decided in mid air that I'd be clever and not break the fall with my palms and instead took the full impact on my elbows and knees. I went back to my mate's house and fell asleep in his armchair completely bloodstaining his pale blue armrests and I was stuck to the fcukin thing when I woke up.

PullMyFinger!

Great thread, and Ive only read the first few pages