Pirate Jokes, anyone?

Undergod

A pirate walks into a bar with a sterring wheel on his crotch.

The barman says
"Eh, Pete, you've got a steering wheel on your crotch."
The pirate replies:
"Arr. It's driving me nuts."

the_syco

Har har harrrrrrrrrrr!

TerrorFirmer

Alot better then I expected given the thread title....

1
Have you heard about the new pirate movie?
It's rated AARRRRGGH!

2
What's a pirate's favorite mode of transportation?
A cAARRRRGGH!

3
what's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
arrrr

4
what's a pirate's favorite kind of socks?
arrrrgyle

5
what is a pirates favorite study subject?
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.

6
what's a pirate's second-choice job?
an arrrrrrchitect!


7
a little kid with a speech impediment dresses up as a pirate and goes trick or treating. he knocks on the door of a house and a man answers. "oh, i can see you're dressed up as a pirate." the man says. "but where are your buccaneers?" the kid gets really mad, and says "on the sides of my buckin' head!"

8
how much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
a buccaneer

9
what's a pirate's favorite kind of cookie?
ships ahoy

10
what do you call a pirate that skips class?
captain hooky!

11
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird ****!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

12
why does a pirate's phone go beep beep beep beep beep?
because he left it off the hook!

13
what does a pirate say when he takes over santa's job?
ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

14
What does a vegan pirate do in jail?
Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve!

15
What has 8 arms and 8 legs?
8 Pirates!




Eh.......AARRRRGGH!!!!!!!

Glipmac

This Chair Be High says I,

Varrrrrrry Good Matey! ive decided not to keelhall ya! Arrrrrr

Capin' Glip P)

Glipmac

Glipmac wrote:

This Chair Be High says I,

Varrrrrrry Good Matey! ive decided not to keelhall ya! Arrrrrr

Capin' Glip P)

You address me as Admiral. Eh....AARRRRGGH!!!!!

petes

When is it national pirate day again. Best day of the year imo.

Aurther Hugh

What do you get if you cross a pirate and a kiddy fiddler?

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Kelly

Aurther Hugh

Aurther Hugh wrote:

What do you get if you cross a pirate and a kiddy fiddler?

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Kelly

A genius walks among us! I salute you.

Megatron

Why are Pirates Pirates ?


becasue the Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

TerrorFirmer

Aurther Hugh wrote:

What do you get if you cross a pirate and a kiddy fiddler?

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Kelly

Wow, thats actually pretty sharp.....lol

Nice one

Goodshape

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel stuck to his crotch.

The bartender says, "Hey, you got a wheel stuck to your crotch."

The pirate replies, "Yarr, me ship wrecked in a terrible storm and my testicles swelled with an infection while I was knocked unconscious against the wheel. Can you please call a doctor?"

Glipmac

Deleted User wrote:

You address me as Admiral. Eh....AARRRRGGH!!!!!

maybe Rearrrrrrrr Admiral Siarrrrrrrr

Capin' Glipmac to you young skallywag! P(

jaggeh

How much does it cost a pirate to get a piercing?
A buck an ear!

What is the one thing a pirate is afraid of?
ARRRmageddon!

snakeater

Goodshape wrote:

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel stuck to his crotch.

The bartender says, "Hey, you got a wheel stuck to your crotch."

The pirate replies, "Yarr, me ship wrecked in a terrible storm and my testicles swelled with an infection while I was knocked unconscious against the wheel. Can you please call a doctor?"

LOL
Funnier than the original

Steven

Humour, she be a cruel mistress. Yahrrrr!