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Hell explained...

  • 25-04-2005 6:53pm
    #1
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    Registered Users Posts: 1,106 ✭✭✭


    Hell Explained

    I figured those of you strong scientific/math minds
    would appreciate the logic of this answer. The
    following is supposedly an actual question given on a
    University of Washington chemistry mid-term.

    The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
    professor shared it with colleagues, via the
    Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
    pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is
    Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
    (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of
    their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it
    expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
    variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is hanging
    in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls
    are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
    leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
    once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
    Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
    are entering Hell, let's look at the different
    religions that exist in the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a
    member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
    there is more than one of these religions and since
    people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
    project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and
    death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
    souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look
    at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
    Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
    and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
    Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.


    This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding
    at a slower rate than the rate at which souls then the
    temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
    all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a
    rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then
    the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
    freezes over. So which is it?


    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
    during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day
    in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
    account the fact that I slept with her last night,
    then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that
    Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The
    corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
    over, it follows that it is not accepting any more
    souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only heaven
    thereby proving the existence of a divine being
    which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
    "Oh my God."

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"


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