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really long joke

the jew

I just remembered this after reading BizkitBabe's question over in the Stories & Games forum that asked: "Dance the night away or Near the wall watching is where you stay?"

Okay, this is a really long story, so I'll try to condense it down, but it will probably still be pretty long. Also, it's just a random story about my life ... so don't expect too much!

Some background info you should know to better appreciate the story: 1) I don't drink alcohol (but don't worry, I'm not one of those guys that thinks others shouldn't either, it's just not my thing). 2) I'm really shy around people that I don't know well (and especially with those of the opposite sex). 3) because of #1 and #2, I don't go to too many parties. 4) My best friend, Micah, is a social butterfly and parties like it's going out of style. 5) I'm an idiot.

So anyway, one of Micah's friends was throwing a big "Casino Party" at his place about a month ago. Micah invited me, and I decided I'd go (hey, can't stop being shy if I don't go out and meet new people right?). He called me on the day of the party and gave me directions, so I drive out, only to realize that he must have given me wrong directions because there is no party on the street he told me! After driving around the area for an hour, he finally called my cell phone to see if I was coming, at which point he realized he had given me bad directions. So I get to the party, finally, and he shows me around (they rented card tables, had a full bar and dancing all in different areas of the house).

Skip to about 2 hours later...

I walk into the room where people are dancing, and see a really drunk Micah dancing around like a fool with a feather boa. So I sit on one of the couches next to one of Micah's friends that I'm also friends with, and we're talking and laughing at Micah acting like an idiot. After a while, the guy I was talking to got up to go dance with his girlfriend, and I'd just be talking to various other people that I kinda knew. But sometimes there'd be no one around, so I just sat there, enjoying the music, watching people dance... just taking it all in. Anyway, while I'm sitting on that couch, I notice a girl sitting alone on an adjacent couch. Now, there were a lot of girls at this party, and a lot of them were really drunk, dancing around having a good time. This girl on the couch though, she was just sitting there (she didn't look like she was having a bad time, but she wasn't dancing, or really talking to anyone either). What really caught my attention about her was that she reminded me of me (people probably thought I was bored because I was just sitting there, but I wasn't at all, I was having a good time just hanging out). Call me a weirdo (and I swear it wasn't hormones!), but there was something very intriguing about this girl. She just seemed like the type of person I'd get along with, and so I really wanted to go over and start up a conversation with her. Here's where my biggest problem comes into play... I get soooo nervous talking to girls in a situation like this. Plus, I kept thinking that just because a girl is sitting alone doesn't mean she's inviting guys to walk up and hit on her (which wasn't my intention, but given the circumstances, I'm sure it would have seemed that way). I must have sat there for at least 45 minutes, trying to build up the courage to just go over and say hello (see #5 above). While I'm sitting there trying to come up with an excuse to talk to her, I see these two really shady looking guys walk over and sit on the couches by her. They actually started hitting on another girl first, but she wasn't very receptive to them, so they moved on to this girl (see, I didn't want to seem like these guys)! As soon as they sat down I realized that I had missed my opportunity to possibly meet a really nice person. So now I'm sitting there kicking myself for not going over and talking to her, and telling myself that I'll go over and talk to her a little bit after these fools leave her alone. Another 30 minutes pass by and the guys are still there (and they aren't really talking to her much either, but they're sitting next to her, and like one would get up while the other would stay there [as if they were out searching for other prey, but didn't want to leave her]. It really bothered me that guys can be so retarded like that). Anyway, all of the sudden I see Micah walk right up to her, reach behind her to grab his coat, and then walk away. A few minutes later he motions me from the other side of the room and I go over, and he says "lets bounce" (it was about 2:30am, and his apartment is about a 5-10 minute drive from the party). We were already standing at the front door, so we just left.

As I'm driving him home, I'm trying to tell him the story (telling him that it was the girl that was sitting by his coat), but he was waaaaay too drunk to know who I was talking about. But the whole time I'm driving him home, I'm thinking to myself "man, I don't have many regrets in my life, but this will definitely be one of them!" It was seriously driving me crazy! So we get to his place and I help him get in and get him to his bed and then I head out. And as I get back into my car, still thinking about how I'm gonna regret this night, I say "f*** it!" and drive back to the party.

Don't get your hopes up just yet though, as I'm driving back to the party, I'm thinking "what the hell am I going to say?!" ... I basically just figured that I'd tell her straight up that I noticed her while I was sitting on the couch there (I'm sure she noticed me too, though we didn't really make eye contact), and that I really wanted to go over and say hello, but that I was just too shy and then those guys came over and how my buddy needed a ride home, and finally explain how I realized that I'd regret it, so I came back, and here I am... I figured I'd say all of that and then see where the conversation (if any) would go. Of course, it's easier to imagine that all happening than to actually say all of that, so I'm still nervous as hell while I'm driving back to the party. It's now about 3am, and I have parked and I'm walking back to the front door. I contemplate chickening out and just taking off again (heck, no one knew I was going back, so no one would notice)... but I didn't want to have to have two regrets that night, so I opened the door and walked in.

As soon as I walked in, I noticed that 1) she wasn't sitting on the couch where she was earlier, and 2) a lot of people had left by now. So I go walking around to look for her (hey, I wasn't going to give up now). I walk down the hallway and turn to look into the kitchen (which led to the garage where the gambling was) and see her standing there (with her back towards me)... but she was holding a guy's hand (and I'm pretty sure it wasn't one of those two guys from earlier)! Defeated, I turned to leave, when a guy that was also standing in the kitchen (he was one of the guys throwing the party, but I didn't know him at all) asked if I needed something... so I asked if someone was still there (a guy that I noticed wasn't there anymore ), and he told me that his roommate just took him home. So I said thanks and left. When i got home i walked into my house....think i would have seen it!!!!!!

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Chalk

personal issues forum tbh

The Bollox

the jew wrote:

think i would have seen it!!!!!!

seen what?

Peace

wtf...

...tbh

solas

sweet loving mother of Jesus, can you use shorter paragraphs?

jaggeh

[obligatory moan]ffs dont advertise a joke when there clearly is none except for your social abilities which are totally humerous[/moan]

[Deleted User]

I'm ....meltiiiiinnnnnngggggg

wtf?

Dr. Loon

Marts wrote:

seen what?

The house.

Tempted

Absolutely fantastic.

Jaggeh, Papa Smut, Marts, Peace and Chalk all of you back to Remedial Class.

solas

yea..I thought my response was pretty funny too.

Abdiel

So basically it amounts to a "Man walks into a bar..... OUCH! " joke ?

c - 13

*me waiting expectantly*
*looks around - puzzled*

Oh right - that was it ?

*shrugs*
*wanders off*

petes

omg i just seen it and to think i spent time reading that.

hussey

http://www.aliensoup.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5043

Is funnier cause it looks like it's true

Keyzer

I dont get this at all, at the risk of sounding like a complete window licker, can someone please explain....

petes

he walked *in* to the house as youd walk *in* to a lampost

TerrorFirmer

He just pasted the thing from another US forum (check his spellings and slang - all US).

Someone ban him already. Just look at this previous (or all of his) posts. :rolleyes:

jaggeh

you know what tempted, i think i might just register a new account and post agreeing with myself or belittleing others without fear of reproach.........
nah i think ill show some guts and just post it here, stop being a tit.
[edit]btw i dont consider a guy walking into a house after that war and peace rendition to be anywhere near humerous, if you wanted it to be funny you should have said 'im a complete fool who walked into a brick wall while stone sober' i would have shat myself laughing.

the jew

MobileInfantry wrote:

He just pasted the thing from another US forum (check his spellings and slang - all US).

Someone ban him already. Just look at this previous (or all of his) posts. :rolleyes:

ban me for what? your not allowed to copy and paste anymore??? and what the hell is wrong with my other posts?

the jew

hussey wrote:

http://www.aliensoup.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5043

Is funnier cause it looks like it's true

nice detective work there.

hussey

I thought the post was funny
in the oh dear god I just wasted 2 mins of my life for this - funny.

and no way should this guy be banned

petes

yeah dont see what the ban would achieve

Tempted

jaggeh wrote:

you know what tempted, i think i might just register a new account and post agreeing with myself or belittleing others without fear of reproach.........
nah i think ill show some guts and just post it here, stop being a tit.
[edit]btw i dont consider a guy walking into a house after that war and peace rendition to be anywhere near humerous, if you wanted it to be funny you should have said 'im a complete fool who walked into a brick wall while stone sober' i would have shat myself laughing.

Just because you're a bit slow on the uptake. I consider your lack of intelligence somewhat humorous.

the jew

jaggeh wrote:

you know what tempted, i think i might just register a new account and post agreeing with myself or belittleing others without fear of reproach.........
nah i think ill show some guts and just post it here, stop being a tit.
[edit]btw i dont consider a guy walking into a house after that war and peace rendition to be anywhere near humerous, if you wanted it to be funny you should have said 'im a complete fool who walked into a brick wall while stone sober' i would have shat myself laughing.

if i have a lack of intelligence and you just spent time replying to the joke, what does that make you??

and lighten people its only meant to be a bit of fun. just cos you don't think a joke a funny doesn't mean someone else won't. hell im still laughin at it(mainly just laughin a stupids cúnts replyin to how crap it is, as if it's the end of the world or something) and i came up with the joke!!!

eyebrows

you really are some fecken eejit "the jew". It was good tough