Obnoxious Chat up lines!

Banterville

Lets post as many of em as possible so they can be used at "obnoxious nights". LOVE IT!!!!


You don't sweat much for a fat bird!

mayordenis

your not pretty but you'll do.

GoneShootin

Hello mother.



wait, what are we doing again?

Dades

"Would you like to dance?"
"No thanks"
"I'm sorry - you must have misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants."

Banterville

nay

Hey i'd really like to score you but i just don't want my mates to see so can we go around the corner???

crang

As long as my face is around you will always have a place to sit.

crang

" How did such a lovely girl like you end up with a face like that"

Adam

nay

Or the obvious classic: Wanna fu(k?

grimsbymatt

nay

Turn to a nearby girl and say "Excuse me, can I smell your fanny?"

Following her disgusted look and "No!", reply

"Oh, it must be your feet then".

*adele*

crang wrote:

" How did such a lovely girl like you end up with a face like that"

ha ha ha i like it!

hussey

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Draupnir

nay

Do ya wanna go halves on a bastard?

grimsbymatt

nay

The Atheist wrote:

"Would you like to dance?"
"No thanks"
"I'm sorry - you must have misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants."

I like it!

I once went up to a girl on a nightclub dancefloor and proclaimed: "Rub me knob and I'll gi'yer a quid". She didn't hear me the first two times, so I had to shout it really loud right in her ear. Needless to say, I slept alone that night.

Banterville

nay

Nice one Druapnir....

Your not the best looking girl here but we can leave the lights off!

Or

Im mightn't be the best looking lad here but im the only person over here talking to you!

jezza

my love for you is like diarohhia.
i just cant hold it in

Civilian_Target

lol! That's priceless - I have to use that sometime, just for a laugh.

Have to keep a straight face though...

padser

nay

go over, look at her for about 10 seconds up and down, and then 'maybe later'

Banterville

nay

You'd look well sitting on my face!

Only Human

nay

He- "Roses are red, violets are blue, I love spaghetti, let's go fcuk."

She- "Right........"

He:- "Fancy a sixty eight?"

She:- "What's that?"

He:- "You go down, and I'll owe you one"

She:- *Gives confused look*

He:- *Points at crotch*
"Well? It's not going to suck itself ! "

Banterville

nay

How do you like your eggs?
Fertilised?

Lets do maths...add a bed, subtract some clothes and i'll give you a square root.

Your knickers is a stairway to heaven.

SpAcEd OuT

is there a mirror in your pants cause i can see my face there

were your parents retarded cause I can tell your really special

Is there a ladder in your pants or is that the stairway to heaven

Do you work in Subway cause you just gave me a foot long

Are you a parking ticket cause you got fine written all over you

ferdi

nay

"If i had a bag of knobs, i'd give you one."

Scarinae

Banterville wrote:

Your knickers is a stairway to heaven.

Is bad grammar part of the allure, are are you just trying to chat up girls who are too thick to notice?

4Xcut

you plus me minus your cloths divide your legs and lets multiply

OR

You've got a face like a bag of hammers but no-one looks at the mantle piece while poking the fire

Banterville

nay

Fishie wrote:

Is bad grammar part of the allure, are are you just trying to chat up girls who are too thick to notice?

Fishie, could you please keep in line with the topic of the thread. It asks for a list of obnoxious chat up lines and not a critique of other peoples typos.

Thanks for the nit picking though!

Repli

I Like You
Do You Like Me

Optikus

nay

"Go grab your coat darling... you've just pulled"

Optikus

nay

This one normally works* well on skrangers pushing trams.. "Alright sweetheart, fancie going halfs on another bastard do ya?"





*dosent work (at all).

the_syco

Fishie wrote:

Is bad grammar part of the allure, are are you just trying to chat up girls who are too thick to notice?

Fishie, its "or are you". A type-o in a sentence coreecting a type-o. How ironic:D

=-=

Want to drink my champagne, baby?

Adam

nay

4Xcut wrote:

You've got a face like a bag of hammers but no-one looks at the mantle piece while poking the fire

In the same way that nobody looks at a nail while hitting it with a hammer... :rolleyes:

Adam

nay

the_syco wrote:

Fishie, its "or are you". A type-o in a sentence coreecting a type-o. How ironic:D

It's irony threefold!