Marriage

Nosh*tsherlock

Marriage (Part I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking
lady and after the wedding,he laid down the following
rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I
expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell
you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing,
boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't
you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any
comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night...whether
you're here or not."


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Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of
their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you
a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As
Ever.'

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'"


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Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at
the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no
good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends
and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the
irritated husband says, what took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"


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Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is
so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of
Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that
it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife
is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice,
"Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of
discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of
Four."


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THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he
would need his wife to wake! him at 5:00 AM for an
early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the
first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left
it where he knew she would find it. The next morning
the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go
and see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he
noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said,
"It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

netwhizkid

yep that give me courage towards marraige, lol

Regards netwhizkid