Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Two Jokes for you :)
-
21-05-2005 11:36am#1Drunk PushGOTTA LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud
pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing
in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.
"Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those
two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed
of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
PatientsA nurse walks into a room and sees a patient pretending he's driving a
car, with his hands at 10 and 2. The nurse asks him, "Charlie - what
are you doing?"Charlie replies, "Can't talk right now, I'm driving to
Melbourne!"The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room. The
next day thenurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his
imaginary carand she asks, "Well Charlie, how was your trip?"
Charlie says, "I'm exhausted, I just got into Melbourne and I need some
rest."
"That's great," replied the nurse, "I'm glad you had a safe trip."
The nurse leaves Charlie's room , and then goes across the hall into
another patients' room and finds Ed sitting on his bed masturbating
vigorously. Shocked, she shouts, "Ed - what are you doing?"
To which Ed replies, "Shhh, I'm shag*ing Charlie's wife while he's in
Melbourne".
0
Comments
Advertisement