Bloke Joke.

d22ontour · 21-05-2005 10:01pm #1

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much and I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually say’s "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said “WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while She tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

"WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Stompbox · 21-05-2005 10:05pm

Rofl

Guru Maith Agut · 22-05-2005 12:17am

d22ontour wrote:

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Very good! Let this be a lesson to all the male species out there.

Pyr0 · 22-05-2005 12:21am

Seen it before but always brings a smile to my face.....and a sense of pride to be a man

Karl Hungus · 22-05-2005 12:28am

Hehehe, excellent!

OY · 22-05-2005 10:56am

Forwarded that one to the wife.
Good stuff!

bounty · 22-05-2005 11:12am

netwhizkid · 22-05-2005 2:31pm

He He, women all they want is our money !!

lol

Regards netwhizkid

Larianne · 22-05-2005 2:39pm

netwhizkid wrote:

He He, women all they want is our money !! lol

Regards netwhizkid

well how else are we to get nice clothes adn get our hair and nails done!! To look pretty for you guys!! LMAO.

Good joke. I'd never take a guy shopping with me....it's be just me and his credit card!! muh ha ha haha ha....