An open letter from Mr Glazer

Dub13

Dear Soccer fans,

As you all know, I've been looking to buy the United's of Manchester
for a little while now. I've also heard that some of you may not be
too happy about me using, sorry, buying the club in order to reach new
heights and also, that I may not be a fan. Well fear not, as I'm
writing this personal letter to let you know that I'm a genuine fan of
you blue devils.

I began rooting for the United's back in 1992 when our little Malcolm
JR was practising those Soccer home runs out in the yard. I loved the
way you turned defence into offence, and the way that Bobby Shearer
used to top half it into the goal bag. Oh man, that play was hot. My
son tells me that you even out-zoned your City rivals Southampton in
the 4th quarter of the FA World series.

As for your current team, that Rude guy is awesome!!!! I see a
profitable future at the United, with the young talent of Cristiano
Rooney (man, that guy can dance!) and Peter Shilton giving us hope in
defeating the evil Russian tyranny which assaults the freedom of our
beloved Soccer. With the marketing potential of those Neville brothers
and that Pearce dude leading the team, we can all look to achieving
our beliefs of a better future. Especially when I add Alexei Lalas and
Cobi Jones to the starting 15.

Now to you, the fans. I've been to see the United's play once before,
and the respect you pay your team in silently admiring the play out on
the pitch was overwhelming. Because of this, I've just purchased a new
£45 million mansion in the Manchester to be close to you guys.

And more good news is I'm planning to add an extra 10,000 seats
through corporate boxes so more genuine blue devils can experience the
play. What's with the prawn sandwiches I had to eat when I was there?
Well, rest assured, it'll be super size prawn baguettes when I take
charge.

I can't wait to come over to the Manchester isles, as I love the
country, especially the beaches and the hot chicks. I hope you can all
see my vision of this future, with new shirt sponsors (Dunkin Donuts)
and new team name (The Manchester Gloom) I'm sure things are looking
bright.

Further good news for you guys is that I've just agreed a partnership
deal with McDonalds, who will help in promoting the Manchester brand.
This will involve re-naming the stadium to 'McTrafford' as well as an
exciting launch of Manchester Gloom plastic fan toys in every happy
meal. Cristiano Rooney will be the face of this campaign and during
this, he will be marketed globally as Roonald McDonald.

TOUCHDOWN! Take care dudes.

M Glazer

Hagar

That would be really funny if it wasn't so close the truth.

Töpher

I actually think its hillarious because its so close to the truth!

USA! USA!

Easygainer

Way I see it, Glazer is fine. Granted I'm a pool fan, but in fairness, you live by the sword you die by the sword. Man U were all too happy to rape the game by turning it into a product and using that money to fund (stupid) purchases of players at exorbitant prices, ruining it for the rest of the clubs. Notice no teams were going under before Man U started winning the league every year?

Now that United have been beaten at their own game, business, they feel somehow victimised. Who could think that a public company could be taken over for the making of money? I got sour news for ya Jack, it happens every single day. Glad it happened to United, keep the abuse going.

StupidLikeAFox

Bingo^

Bet theyre all wishing they werent such bastards to magnier and mcmanus now!


original letter wasnt really funny though

spooiirt!!

Easygainer wrote:

Way I see it, Glazer is fine. Granted I'm a pool fan, but in fairness, you live by the sword you die by the sword. Man U were all too happy to rape the game by turning it into a product and using that money to fund (stupid) purchases of players at exorbitant prices, ruining it for the rest of the clubs. Notice no teams were going under before Man U started winning the league every year?

Now that United have been beaten at their own game, business, they feel somehow victimised. Who could think that a public company could be taken over for the making of money? I got sour news for ya Jack, it happens every single day. Glad it happened to United, keep the abuse going.

There ya have it.