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Home Remedies.

  • 30-05-2005 6:24pm
    #1
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭


    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

    4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.

    8. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    9. AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are: You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

    10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

    11. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.


    Not great I know, but then again it's Monday.


Comments

  • #2
    kittenkiller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,433 ✭✭✭kittenkiller


    Hagar wrote:
    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

    LMAO!!
    Some good ones in there.


  • #3
    Naos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,738 ✭✭✭Naos


    Hahha.
    Where have you been hagar?
    Ive been coming into this humour thread last few days now and have not seen a post from you. Hate all those link posts..


  • #4
    Hagar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,793 ✭✭✭✭Hagar


    Hi Mear,

    I moved to the Cote d'Azur from Roscommon, what a change!!!
    Have only moved into the new appartment and just had broadband installed.
    €29 per month 512k always on, no cap, from Wanadoo.
    I can upgrade to 8gb for another €5 as soon as the local exchange is ready.

    Normal service is being resumed.
    Some good jokes, interspersed with the odd lemon, are coming your way soon...

    :D


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