Face Lift.

d22ontour

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends £5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news agents to buy a newspaper.

Before leaving she says to the assistant, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," is the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the very same question. The girl replies, "I guess about 29."

The woman replies, "Nope I'm 50."

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a chemist on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant this burning question. The assistant responds, "Oh, I'd say 30." Again she proudly responds, "I am 50, but thank you."

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question. He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eye sight is going. Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They wait in silence on the empty street until curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast...He gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay, okay ... How old am I?" He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says. "Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?'

The old man replies, "promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't." she says.

He replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Tobias Greeshman

Very old, but still a little funny

Ron DMC

silas wrote:

Very old, but still a little funny

Yeah, so old that she's 50!!

spudington16

That was posted in a different form within the last week. It featured a man having his balls felt up by an old woman, though. Still good, so well done!