Tal-aid 2005 We need your help!!!

A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale has hit Tallaght
in the early hours of Monday 21th March 2005.

Epicentre: The Square Shopping Centre.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "...bleedin
story?","aaaaawrigh' bud" and "fUUUcksake". The earthquake decimated the
area causing approximately EUR30 worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from Crete and Santa Ponza
were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were
disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their welfare cheque
arrived.

The Tallaght News reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that the damage
had not been caused by illegal means.

One resident - Alexis Crystal Duffy, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "Ih
was such a ####in' shock, me little wan Chardonnay Mercedes cem
runnin'into me bedruem cryin'. Me youngisst two: Tyler-Morgan n
Megan-Brooklyn slept tru ih all. Buh I was still shakin' when I was
watchin' ####in' Rikki leh-er in the ####in' mornin".

Apparently though, looting, muggings and incidental crime did carry on
as usual.

The Irish Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
Strongbow, Dutch Gold, frozen pizza and John Player Blue to the area to
help the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found
large quantities of personal belongings, which include welfare books,
jewellery including thousands of sovereign rings, many large medallions
and Hash leaf ear rings from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and fine Bone China
from Tommy's Wonderland of Value.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those
unfortunate to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include:

Fila or Kappa baseball caps,

Hoodies (any type)

Tommy Hilfiger tracksuits (his and hers)

Nike/Adidas Shell suits (female)

White sport socks Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in TK
Maxx.

Anything from Magic or Unique Boutique.


Food parcels may be harder to come by, as refrigeration may be a
problem, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include:

* McCains oven chips

* Heinz baked beans

* Goodfellas Frozen Pizza

* Coke/Fanta

* Strongbow Cider

* Smirnoff Ice.

* John Player Blue 15's. (unmarried mother handy pack)

And remember that your contribution counts!

Just 22c buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms and bookie
slips. Just EUR5.00 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a
family of 9. Only EUR6.00 will pay for a packet of 20 Major to calm the
nerves of those affected.

Guy:Incognito

Again???????????? is there really a need for this to be resurrected ever month or so.