whats the most random joke you have!!

homerule

whats the most random joke you have!!

Capt'n Midnight

Google says - http://www.randomjoke.com/index.php

litereaper!

homerule wrote:

whats the most random joke you have!!

the Toster joke;
2 iguanas are takeing a bath,
One iguana has longer finger nails than the other so the other is
jelious of him for this.
the other iguana has a longer hair located on the south-east of his left nipple so the other is jelious of this.
so they are both takeing a bath and they start fighting over finger nails
and other s**t.
but the main problem is that iguanas can change colour (hint: remember that),.
one is more redder than the other and one is burnt umberer than
the other (remember that aswell)
the two iguans then decide that they are equal in difference
and make up (remember the fact that they are in the bath tub)
So then they are happy as can be and decide to wash themselves.
One iguana asks the other,
"could you pass the soap"
and the other one replies,
"What do you think i am, a F***in toaster"


Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
this is the most random joke i have ever heard.[/SIZE][/SIZE]
[/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]

Zeppie

litereaper! wrote:

the Toster joke;
2 iguanas are takeing a bath,
One iguana has longer finger nails than the other so the other is
jelious of him for this.
the other iguana has a longer hair located on the south-east of his left nipple so the other is jelious of this.
so they are both takeing a bath and they start fighting over finger nails
and other s**t.
but the main problem is that iguanas can change colour (hint: remember that),.
one is more redder than the other and one is burnt umberer than
the other (remember that aswell)
the two iguans then decide that they are equal in difference
and make up (remember the fact that they are in the bath tub)
So then they are happy as can be and decide to wash themselves.
One iguana asks the other,
"could you pass the soap"
and the other one replies,
"What do you think i am, a F***in toaster"


Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
this is the most random joke i have ever heard.[/SIZE][/SIZE]
[/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]

Great Joke! :rolleyes:

Velvet Vocals

I don't get it?

7thSeal

Sorry
But I don't think anyone's beating Matt and Trey

http://www.****allyall.com/article1928.html
EDIT - It wont let me post the link because of foul language
I assume you can guess what goes in there though


WARNING: If you are easily offended do not watch

Flashling

A dog walks onto a telegraph sending centre and writes a telegraph saying 'woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof'. the woman at the dsek say "Umm sir? you know you can send another word for the same price?" and the dog replies "Why, that just wouldn't make any sense would it?"

7thSeal

I walked in to the airport the other day
I walked up to the desk and Bawk Bawk Bawk Bawk
The woman said
"No, sir. This is the check in desk!"

Naos

Ah that iguana joke

Whats the scariest thing up a tree?
A monkey with a machine gun.

Diarmsquid

Saint Something wrote:

I don't get it?

Me neither. Explain please!

Capt'n Midnight

What's the difference between a Duck ?

One of it's legs are both the same.

mad m

What goes under the water,over the water and never touches the water?.


An egg in a ducks belly...






I know,someone shoot me now!

Jim_Are_Great

What's black and yellow and if it falls out of a tree it'll kill you?
A black and yellow airport.


What's black and white and red all over?
And interracial knife-fight.

grimsbymatt

What's big and small at the same time?


A big egg.


from The Armando Iannucci Shows

mad m

Anyone hear about the Gay cowboy?


He rode into town and shot up the Sheriff...

Mr Rivers

What's the difference between an apple and an orange?

A fish because a bicycle has no windows!

Naos

Diarmsquid wrote:

Me neither. Explain please!

See above joke about apple and orange.
If you still do not understand the Iguana joke, I shall then inform you.

brian

varians

I seriously dont get that Iguana joke
Someone please explain

corblimey

Jim_Are_Great wrote:

What's black and yellow and if it falls out of a tree it'll kill you?
A black and yellow airport.

Hey Jim, where do I send the bill for the beer I just spat up on my keyboard? Great joke.

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms.

grimsbymatt

corblimey wrote:

Hey Jim, where do I send the bill for the beer I just spat up on my keyboard? Great joke.

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms.

In the same vein:-

Why did the monkey fall out the tree?


Because it was dead.

petes

corblimey wrote:

Hey Jim, where do I send the bill for the beer I just spat up on my keyboard? Great joke.

Why did the girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms.

Why didnt she get back up?

She had no legs.

Flashling

why didnt anyone help her up?
because she had no friends!

pat kenny

2 eggs in a frying pan , one turns to the other and says "It's really hot in here".
The other egg replies "Holy **** a talking egg!!!!!!"

Einstein

humpty dumpty sat on a wall
humpty had a great fall
all the kings horses and all the kings men,
didn't really give a toss cos there were more eggs in the fridge.

oddlyaromatic

What's big and white and swings through the trees?

Fridge - Lord of the Jungle!

I'm sure we all want to know why the girl had no friends...

Why'd the chicken only cross half the road?

Landmine.

Mr Rivers

grimsbymatt wrote:

Why did the monkey fall out the tree?


Because it was dead.

Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree?


Cos he was stapled to the 1st monkey!


Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree?


He thought it was a game


Why did the tree fall down?


Thought he was a monkey

Naos

Why did little Johnny fall of his bike?
Someone threw a fridge at him.

(To all those who dont get the iguana joke, here it is ...
It doesnt make sense, it is so stupid, it is funny. A bit like thee)

frodi

Why did the elephant paint his balls red?



So he could hide in the cherry tree.



How did he get in the tree?




Climbed over all the dead monkeys.

Flashling

Mr Rivers wrote:

Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree?


He thought it was a game

Darn it, no, It's peer pressure!

Dizzyblabla

frodi wrote:

Why did the elephant paint his balls red?



So he could hide in the cherry tree.

Why did Tarzan get beaten up?

For trying to pick the cherries!




How to Elephants hide in big bowls of custard?


By painting their feet yellow!!


Have you ever found an Elephant in your custard?
(ans = no)


Ahaa! it works!!

liamskater

Flashling wrote:

why didnt anyone help her up?
because she had no friends!

what did she get for christmas??

cancer!