whats the most random joke you have!!

Le Rack

if the dog is injured and your husband is injured who do you care for first?
The dog at least he's loyal!

7thSeal

So, God made Adam. Adam was walking around one day and realized that he was lonely, so he asked God for a companion. God said, "I can make a woman for you. She will cook and clean and do everything you ask her to. She will wait on you hand and foot. She will be so beautiful that you won't be able to take your eyes off of her. It's gonna cost you an arm and a leg, though."
Adam said, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"

Le Rack

Eh I've to get up for work so I shall continue this tomorrow!

7thSeal

One day, God went to find Adam and Eve in the garden, but found that Adam was sitting by himself.
"Where's Eve?" He asked.
"Well," said Adam, "She started to bleed. This happens every month or so."
"So where is she?" asked God.
"Well, she went down to the river to wash up." replied Adam.
"Damn," said God. "Now I'll never get the smell out of the fish."

Splendid

Why is a mouse when he spins?









The more he goes round, the mush....

qz

What's pink and fluffy?












Pink fluff.

qz

What's blue and fluffy?











Pink fluff holding it's breath.

7thSeal

If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose...
Would you go to lunch or to a movie?

roastie

why did the plane crash ???


Cos the pilot was a toaster !

(worst but best joke ever !)

SirIrish

Did ye hear about the magic tractor??

It turned into a field.


2 pieces of sick walk down an road and one starts crying at an alleyway
What's wrong the other asks
This is where I was brought up he replies

7thSeal

What does a woman put behind her ears
to make her more attractive?




Her ankles.

Farls

What is the first thing women do when they come out of the battered wives shelter?

The dishes if they know whats good for them!

Farls

What ya get hanging from apple trees?




sore arms :rolleyes:

7thSeal

Why did the woman cross the road?



Never mind that why was she out of the house?

7thSeal

2 little girls, 6 years old on a swing. first one says to the other "I found a box of condoms on my verandah yesterday".
second one :"What's a verandah ?"

7thSeal

There was a cruise ship going through some rough waters that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island. There were only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl.

They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women. After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing. She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself.

It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get through it and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course. Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing, so they buried her.

Zapho

roastie wrote:

why did the plane crash ???


Cos the pilot was a toaster !

(worst but best joke ever !)

Damn I was gonna say that one!

When does a woman have a point of view?
When there's a window in the kitchen!

My dad used to like tractors.
You could say he's an extractor fan

Jimmy, and enginner, owned a lot of land.
He was out standing in his field....

Zapho

Whats brown and sticky?

A stick!

7thSeal

What's the difference between a paedophile and a spot?


A spot doesn't come on your face till your 12!

7thSeal

Q: How can you tell when a bucket gets sick?



A: It becomes a little pale

7thSeal

I've got this friend and he's in love with two schoolbags


He's bisackual

7thSeal

I just saw a movie about some guy who had amazing revelations while eating his cereal.

It was called Breakfast Epiphanies.

MooShop

7th Seal: could you not post all your jokes in the one post instead of taking up 3-4 posts in a row :mad:

7thSeal

But I don't remember them all at the same time
And generally when I do remember them there has been no replies since my last one
So I have to have multiple posts in a row

7thSeal

I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."

Le Rack

your house is on fire, the dog and your husband are inside, which to you save?
The dog, at least he doesn't moan at you for not serving his every beck and call!

Raiser

A man walks into a butchers shop and says to the butcher:
Have you got a sheeps head?

The Butcher says:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
No, its just the way I part my hair.

breadmonkey

Why did the plane crash?

The pilot was a loaf of bread

Ishmael

7thSeal wrote:

But I don't remember them all at the same time
And generally when I do remember them there has been no replies since my last one
So I have to have multiple posts in a row

Could you not just use the EDIT button??


"How many dirty stinking apes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

3, 1 dirty stinking ape to screw in the light bulb and 2 dirty stinking apes to
throw fiecies at each other. nyahahahahhaahhaha"

7thSeal

Why do women have arms?



Do you know how long it would take
to LICK a bathroom clean?