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Jokes

  • 16-06-2005 12:37pm
    #1
    sprinkles
    Registered Users Posts: 4,510 ✭✭✭


    Knock, knock.
    >Who's there?
    >The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in
    hospital.
    >
    >A man walks into a pub.
    >He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
    >
    >Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
    >She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her
    terribly low
    >self-esteem.
    >
    >What do you call a cat with no tail?
    >A manx cat.
    >
    >Why do undertakers wear ties?
    >Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that
    their
    >appearance has a degree of gravitas.
    >
    >How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.
    >
    >Why do women fake orgasms?
    >Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.
    >
    >Two men are sitting in a pub.
    >One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of
    strange
    men
    >coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes,
    she has
    >become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit.'
    >
    >Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps
    >out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then
    wanders
    off.
    >
    >Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
    >Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell
    pharmaceuticals
    >in the largely unpopulated rainforest.


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