Nice guys

Novocaine

Speaking as a red - hot blooded straight male I am I wrong when I say its a waste of time to be nice to women. They all say they want some1 nice but in reality they don't. I mean where's the adventurousness in being nice?

simu

Old topic. Tip: women like people with a bit of originality, well me anyway.

Son_of_Belial

Treat 'em mean... You really just need to find a healthy balance. By all means be a gentleman but make it clear right from the word go that you won't be a door-mat by any means and try to be assertive at times. Don't be a complete yes man. Women (in my experience anyway) like that.

Novocaine

Exactly. I've even come to learn that buying a woman a drink to try maintain her interest in you is also waste of time.

*Page*

if a guy treats me like an a$$ then they will have chance. If you treat me like a friend and be yourself i will get along with you better!

Zulu

*Page* wrote:

if a guy treats me like an a$$ then they will have chance. If you treat me like a friend and be yourself i will get along with you better!

...but if he treats you like an ass, he'll still have a chance?

shellby

Son_of_Belial wrote:

Treat 'em mean... You really just need to find a healthy balance. By all means be a gentleman but make it clear right from the word go that you won't be a door-mat by any means and try to be assertive at times. Don't be a complete yes man. Women (in my experience anyway) like that.

yes men are boring but i agree with the rest if i guy is ott nice its get irritating but if he treats me like s**t he will be told exactly where to go straight off any self respecting girl would do the same

meditraitor

Novocaine wrote:

Exactly. I've even come to learn that buying a woman to try maintain her interest in you is also waste of time?

not in my experience

All jokes aside, I get the feeling your just young and the rampaging hormones are making you over eager, relax, dealing with woman is like everything, Practice makes perfect

*Page*

no

Son_of_Belial

Novocaine wrote:

Exactly. I've even come to learn that buying a woman to try maintain her interest in you is also waste of time?

Not to mention money. That's a mug's game. Here's what I generally do - I'll take her for dinner or something and then I'll pay for it. If she offers to pay her share I'll refuse once but the second time I'll take it. If she lets you pay 3 times or more in a row though then I'd ditch her.

*Page*

i believe in give and take. some weeks i'll pay for our night out other nights he will and then other times we will just buy our own!

shellby

*Page* wrote:

i believe in give and take. some weeks i'll pay for our night out other nights he will and then other times we will just buy our own!

every body likes being spoiled but if a woman lets you pay all the time you can be sure that she is taking you for a ride and not the good kind

Riamfada

Women like to be messed around. They save the nice guys for friends to complain about when they "always seem to end up with the arses"

Women.

*Page*

I think I'll turn this slightly.


There are a lot of guys out there that take girls for a ride to(not the nice kind)

The amount of guys who think they can get away with treating a girl like crap is unreal.

but in the same barrel there are girls who treat guys that way too!

Zulu

Son_of_Belial wrote:

If she lets you pay 3 times or more in a row though then I'd ditch her.

I don't agree. If I take someone out to dinner, I much prefer to pay.
All the time.
I'm taking her out for dinner.
That being said, if it's clear she'd prefer to contrabute, I'll suggest getting the drinks or something.

If I'm out for pints with a girl - standard "round" rules apply.

*Page*

Zulu wrote:

If I'm out for pints with a girl - standard "round" rules apply.

this is how it should work.


its not the dark ages anymore

Peteee

nice != boring

Nice guys finish last

They'll see you as a 'friend' and nothing else.

I've decided to become meaner to everyone from now on...starting......NOW

Son_of_Belial

*Page* wrote:

i believe in give and take. some weeks i'll pay for our night out other nights he will and then other times we will just buy our own!

I like your thinking! Yeah OP, relax. I don't know why people feel the need to keep a relationship at all costs at our age. Sure there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part you need to relax. Being single has its advantages you know

Altheus

No one likes a Tarzan who acts like Jane.

Son_of_Belial

Zulu wrote:

I don't agree. If I take someone out to dinner, I much prefer to pay.
All the time.
I'm taking her out for dinner.
That being said, if it's clear she'd prefer to contrabute, I'll suggest getting the drinks or something.

If I'm out for pints with a girl - standard "round" rules apply.

Don't get me wrong, I like paying for dinner but it's nice for her to offer, you know? I'm not mean or tight-fisted or anything, but like *page* said, there has to be give and take

*Page*

i find it hard even borrowing money of a guy i'm going out with..



















*i'm weird*

newgrange

Re the dinner thing - I always played it that if it was my idea or suggestion to go somewhere, I paid, and if it was the other person's, then they paid. Some occasions we just split down the middle.

Women are fairly straightforward - make her laugh, and then listen to her.

Zulu

Son_of_Belial wrote:

Don't get me wrong, I like paying for dinner but it's nice for her to offer, you know?

I hear you; I'm not suggesting your tight fisted at all. Offering is FAR nicer than expecting to have it paid for you alright. I'm just not into this "proving we're modern by splitting the bill" attitude some people hold. (not implying anyone here)

Lex_Diamonds

The nerd type girls will pay for stuff.

If the girl likes Big Brother and has fake blonde hair, prepare for an expensive relationship.

So if you want hotsex0r with a minx, you need to spend loads so may aswell hire a prozzie if your **** with women, but if you dont mind more ming, and a nice cashback in the wallet, go for NightElf345 you met on WOW Euro server.

Novocaine

Being single has its advantages you know

Not when you've been single since like forever. not that its ever bothered me, but sometimes I hate missing out.

pickarooney

You're a nice guy and you have no girlfriend - this sends two wrong signals.

meditraitor

Novocaine wrote:

Not when you've been single since like forever. not that its ever bothered me, but sometimes I hate missing out.

//ah ye'll be all right, give uncle medi a hug// give it a chance,

BEAT

I really didnt want to reply to this but *sigh* I am once again dragged in.
ZULU about the pay thing ,
If I am invited out to dinner I dont expect him to pay and always offer but its nice when you are invited and he does pay, sometimes. I also think though that whether it is a girl or guy who invites me out that , hey you invited me out but that doesnt mean you HAVE to pay. Ya know what I mean? I atleast offer to leave a tip in those cases.
If it is a first date then I feel weird, cuz I dont really know you and it is a nice gesture but do you expect something in return? I mean, hey...I dont know you remember?
I do however offer to buy drinks afterwards if he does pay and things are going well, and if he doesnt let me buy drinks, well so be it...
I understand the whole, man in charge thing, traditional mumbo jumbo, it is nice but sometimes the girl feels like she should do something to repay you. Ya know? ofcourse just being in her company is payment enough right guys?

anyway, Op
do not listen to these morons...they obviously are attracted to the wrong type of women and have been kicked for it. Will they learn? no.
Women do want nice guys, however...you have to be the right nice guy.
I'd love to meet a nice guy with morals, sense of humor and traditional views...but it cant be just any nice guy. If you are not attracted to them or have anything in common with them then it doesnt matter if you are nice or a jerk...it isnt going ot work.
So dont change who you are, you will find the right girl eventually.

Sarky

Peteee wrote:

Nice guys finish last

That's because we're just plain better in bed...

Novocaine

I never said I was a nice guy!

*Page*

Sarky wrote:

That's because we're just plain better in bed...

i was waiting for that!

WhiteWashMan

Novocaine wrote:

Speaking as a red - hot blooded straight male I am I wrong when I say its a waste of time to be nice to women. They all say they want some1 nice but in reality they don't. I mean where's the adventurousness in being nice?

where does it say that in order to be 'nice', you cant be 'adventurous?

what exactly do you mean by nice anyway?

having sex with two gorgeous women at the same time is 'nice', but so is cheesecake.

Altheus

Cheesecake is rank.

*Page*

ye i dont like cheese cake nor do i like 3 somes (can cause a lot of negitive vibes)

Quantum

Novocaine wrote:

Speaking as a red - hot blooded straight male I am I wrong when I say its a waste of time to be nice to women. They all say they want some1 nice but in reality they don't. I mean where's the adventurousness in being nice?

This is one of the oldest myths around... the girl who wants guys to be man to her. Come on !

The truth is that among women there is always and has always been a small group that like the 'rebel' types. They go for the guys who treat them like sh1t - mainly because they come from screwed up families.
Most women worth being with like guys who make them feel special when they are with hem. Who pay attention to THEM when they are out on a date and not every skirt or plunging blouse that walks past. Guys who have managed to mature beyond 15 years o age. Guys who don't make a big deal of who pays for what, but keep it balanced and can appreciate the politics of money. Guys who make them laugh and don't mouth to their mates about them behind their backs. It's not a mystery, not brain surgery. You get the kind of girl that you deserve.

nesf

Eh.

I'm a nice guy. But um that doesn't mean, I don't flirt, or am not cheeky etc.

nice != no confidence
nice != boring
nice != a bag full of issues
nice != unattractive
nice != cheap

etc.

It's just many guys blame being nice for not pulling women. There's generally other problems playing a part. Being nice will count against you for some women, but there are plenty women out there that like nice guys.

Take an honest look at yourself. There is probably something you can improve about yourself or something. I don't care. Just be happy and do things you want.

That said, everyone has flaws, and what's a flaw in one person's eyes can be a turn on in anothers.

So meh, be yourself. You'll find someone etc etc

CaptainPeacock

It's not about being nice or evil. Just wear a wedding ring or pretend you're gay or pay a prostitute to hold hands with you and pretend to be your girlfriend; then all the other wimmin will want your sex.

aliveandkicking

Peteee wrote:

nice != boring

Nice guys finish last

They'll see you as a 'friend' and nothing else.

So true

The Corinthian

The problem with the majority of self-proclaimed nice guys is that they’re not actually nice. They’re boring, socially inept, clueless and in some cases even downright creepy. Simply because they see a woman attracted to someone who is more forthcoming, self-assured and, let’s face it, fun they assume that it’s because the guy in question is a bastard or, by extension, if they fail to possess these qualities it’s because they’re nice. They’re not.

Of course, this is not to say that there are not real bastards or nice guys out there either, only that most are mislabelled or mislabel themselves out of some form of deluded vanity.

Scarinae

The Corinthian wrote:

The problem with the majority of self-proclaimed nice guys is that they’re not actually nice. They’re boring, socially inept, clueless and in some cases even downright creepy. Simply because they see a woman attracted to someone who is more forthcoming, self-assured and, let’s face it, fun they assume that it’s because the guy in question is a bastard or, by extension, if they fail to possess these qualities it’s because they’re nice. They’re not.

Of course, this is not to say that there are not real bastards or nice guys out there either, only that most are mislabelled or mislabel themselves out of some form of deluded vanity.

I think this post has just hit the nail on the head. Of course women like nice guys! However, they are a lot more likely to go for outgoing, friendly types who seem like a lot of fun - unfortunately, a lot of the more confident guys are the bastards. Just get more confidence, you don't have to start being a wanker to try get women

Tar.Aldarion

*Page* wrote:

i was waiting for that!

that's what she said ^^

anyway...i think im too nice so i throw i a bit of fake meanness ya know?

Chinafoot

i have, once or twice, used the phrase "he's too nice" when describing a guy i wasnt romantically interested in.
a lot of women say that when they really mean that the guy is a total door-mat or they are just simply not interested in them at all.

as has already been pointed out, being a "nice guy" doesnt mean you are boring, unadventurous or unattractive. i know i personally dont fancy being with somebody who treats me like crap.

as for the dinner/drinks thing. the stubborn streak in me means that i pay for myself. if we go for dinner, we split the bill. if a guy buys me a drink, i get him the next one.

a lot of women are the same. we're not all gold-diggers out for what we can get. nor do we all want some james dean look-a-like who'll make us cry

OLDYELLAR

I like nice , nothing worse than arrogant pr*cks who act like there doin ya a favour going out with ya , having been with a complete d*ck for a while , I`ll take nice any day of the week.

By the way every woman is different , heres a tip dont bunch us all into one category , brings on my pms.

Dizzyblabla

I am one of those girls who has yet to find the "nice guy" - but see, maybe everyone is thinking it, or maybe I'm the most shallow person around, but nice just doesn't cut it, people have flowered it up by saying that they're not "romantically interested" - nice is all well and good, but there has to be some physical attraction too..

When out in a nightclub or pub (which is where we all go to try and meet someone) - what do you do? Look for the guy who looks "nice" over in the corner, or go straight over to the guy who's having a laugh with his friends and looks HOT!?? - I know what I'd do!!

As for the buying dinner etc... Most girls, as they have already testified, do like to be treated well, but in saying that, it does not have to be an expensive meal in a fancy restraunt, it's the romantic gesture behind it that matters, order a Chinese and have a romantic night in! Get some chips from the van at the beach and an ice-cream afterwards.

We do not expect to have everything paid for us, those days are long gone, we actually prefer (well I do) to contribute, we do not like to be thought of as leeches or anything of the sort!

The nice guy is the guy that can have a laugh, and yet be serious, be quite good looking (no, we're not looking for Brad Pitt's), treat us well, make us feel good about ourselves and have fun! Be spontaneous, don't be a door mat, women need a challenge, a relationship would get very boring very quickly if everything we suggested was agreed with..

Maybe that guy just doesn't exist.. cause I sure as hell haven't found him yet... *sigh*

Jonny Arson

Dizzyblabla wrote:

The nice guy is the guy that can have a laugh, and yet be serious, be quite good looking (no, we're not looking for Brad Pitt's), treat us well, make us feel good about ourselves and have fun! Be spontaneous, don't be a door mat, women need a challenge, a relationship would get very boring very quickly if everything we suggested was agreed with..

Well thats kinda me except I'm better looking than Brad Pitt! :rolleyes:

Anyways I am a ''nice bloke'' but sadly it has never ever got me anywhere with the opposite sex. Now I'm only 19 but I already realise that been too nice to people sadly won't get you anywhere with women or people in general. This doesn't mean I am going to change who I am. The day I become a bastard will be the day i've lost my soul. I'm not getting success with the women but I do want to stay true to myself and not put on any front that I'm not (by being a ''bad guy''). For me I've got to stay nice, it is in me, but I am streetwise with people by not letting people take advantage of me. Getting the right mix is the way to go.

Good will always win over bad at the end of the day.... being nice may take you longer to get what you want but being nice will be worth it in the end when women finally grow up and realise that ''bad guys'' will treat them like sh!t .

Bottom line is if you're nice stay that way but don't let anyone use you.

The Corinthian

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

Good will always win over bad at the end of the day....

Which episode of the Carebears did you get that little gem from?

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

season 2 episode 13 - the carebears visit mordor ?

Dizzyblabla

Mordeth wrote:

season 2 episode 13 - the carebears visit mordor ?

ahha ha ha ha ha!

The Corinthian

Mordeth wrote:

season 2 episode 13 - the carebears visit mordor ?

I was probably out knitting friendship bracelets when that episode was on...

Eve e

Hmmmmmmm If you are over 21(and still sneering at what a idealist 19 year old teenager thinks )you don't have you're head together & probably never will. :rolleyes:

The Corinthian

Eve e wrote:

Hmmmmmmmmmm If you are over 21(and still sneering at what a idealist 19 year old teenager thinks )you don't have you're head together & probably never will. :rolleyes:

Thanks for than Sigmund. I look forward to reading your paper on the subject.