Should i be pissed off?

Steoob

Hi, i have a girlfriend, We've been going out for 6 months and we both love each other more than anything in the world. Last night we were at a house party and we were both drinking and i guess we both got pretty hammered.

When the night was in full swing tho i went off to the bathroom for a minute and when i came back everyone was all laughing and shocked and **** coz my girlfriend had just kissed her best-friend(and a very good friend of mine) with tongue and from the look on her face she pretty much seemed to like it. When i heard what happened i didn't even know what to think, i was pretty upset anyway.

I guess if it was a guy that she kissed it would mean that she had an attraction to him but when its a girl who is her best friend then its just a drunken piss around yaknow? is it cheating? coz to me it kinda seems like it is and then if its that my girlfrind may have bsexual tendensies that maybe she was attracted to her friend which means it really is cheating. **** i dunno im just so screwed up today i cant stop thinking about it i dont know if things can ever be the same someone help me please, thanks

qz

I don't think you should worry about it too much. We all do stupid **** while drunk. For example. Hell, I'd be happy if I found out my girlfriend just kissed another girl! Imagine the possibilities!

Einstein

yeah seriously man,

don't fret it, most girls have kissed other girls before under the influence of alcomohol.
like qz said-- think of the possibilities!!

how old are ya?

d..

PowerHouseDan

Happened to me with a Ex, She told me the night after, i think she was half bi, i wasnt pissed at the start but i got pissed later on but didnt really effect our relationship but its up to the person like we all handle things different.

Steoob

i had always thought of it being a good thing before but whe it really happened i dunno it just really upset me im the extreme jealous type... anyway when your with someone you shouldn't be alowd to do the rat on anyone even if its a girl.. i dunno argh

im 16 btw

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

kittenkiller

You're fully intitled to be miffed.

If you went off & shared saliva with one of your mates i'm sure she'd be a little freaked.

If after going out with you for 6 months she doesn't know that you're the jealous type, she needs a serious lesson in COP ON.

Explain to her how you feel.
If (&i doubt she will) she admits to being bi & wanting to experiment with it, then you must discuss whether or not she puts her urge to experiment with other people over her relationship with you.

The bottom line is that she kissed someone else & whether male or female, it's being unfaithful unless an arrangment has been made between the two of you.

Let her know that you feel that her behaviour was unacceptable, move on from her past behaviour & hopefully it won't happen again.

Einstein

Solitaryman666 wrote:

This post has been deleted.

lol- you say it with such conviction!!

Steo, turn around and ask her how she'd feel if you kissed a bloke- bet she wouldn't like it would she

but honestly- your 16- it's all good! do your best and don't let it get ya down. And you'll realise in 10 years, that it was the best thing ever and you should have asked her to do it again!

D

qz

Divers wrote:

but honestly- your 16- it's all good! do your best and don't let it get ya down. And you'll realise in 10 years, that it was the best thing ever and you should have asked her to do it again!

D

lol!

Steoob

kittenkiller thats exactly how i feel you said it perfectly but i dont know what to do i cant break up with her because i still love her im just really just argh i dont even know what to think... o yea and when i came in and heard another frined of mine said "man you look kinda pissed off" and then my girlfriend said ya hes the jealous type... she didn't really know how pissed off i was at that point so i dont really mind that she was just laughing about about me being the jealous type it was that she knew damn well that i was and she still went and did that...

rugbug86

i dont know many girls who HAVENT had a drunken kiss with a female friend

you've nothing to worry about, you just saw another side to your girlfriend

Steoob

yea an unfaithful side.. and even if its not unfaithful its a side that pissed me off and she knew i'd be pissed off... and its not like she was like incapacitated drunk

rugbug86

true. did he have anything to say for herself afterwards?

Neuro

steoob wrote:

When the night was in full swing tho i went off to the bathroom for a minute and when i came back everyone was all laughing and shocked and **** coz my girlfriend had just kissed her best-friend(and a very good friend of mine) with tongue and from the look on her face she pretty much seemed to like it. When i heard what happened i didn't even know what to think, i was pretty upset anyway.

Sounds like nothing more than "party lesbianism" to me. I wouldn't worry about it...

WhiteWashMan

if you feel annoyed about it, then you are entitled to be annoyed about it.

if its something yo uare not comfortable with, then you are not comfortable wiht it.
there is no difference between being unfaithful with male or a female.

Steoob

she didn't have much to say she just looked kindof upset coz i was so pissed and then i sussed it out by sayin about the whole male=attraction female=drunken laugh and she just agreed with everything i said then i asked her if she loved me and she said yes and then she said you know i'd never cheat on you and that was it really

Steoob

WhiteWashMan wrote:

if you feel annoyed about it, then you are entitled to be annoyed about it.

if its something yo uare not comfortable with, then you are not comfortable wiht it.
there is no difference between being unfaithful with male or a female.

o no im very comfortable with anything to do with two girls but its hen one of them is in a serious relationship with me then i dont like it...

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

kittenkiller

steoob wrote:

kittenkiller thats exactly how i feel you said it perfectly but i dont know what to do i cant break up with her because i still love her im just really just argh i dont even know what to think... o yea and when i came in and heard another frined of mine said "man you look kinda pissed off" and then my girlfriend said ya hes the jealous type... she didn't really know how pissed off i was at that point so i dont really mind that she was just laughing about about me being the jealous type it was that she knew damn well that i was and she still went and did that...

Tell her how you feel & then try your very bestest to move on.
Let her have this one chalked down to ignorance.
If it ever happens again, then you'll know she doesn't have as much respect for you as you have for yourself & then you can call it a day with all your pride still intact.

Talliesin

I can't wait for the "Men and women can't really be friends" brigade to start on "Women and women can't really be friends" too.

Steoob

yea she apologised but it makes no difference really everyone says sorry even if they dont mean it just to get themselves out of a bad situation so i dont know if she really is sorry

Stench Blossoms

She probably thinks everybody else thinks she eh "cool" because she done it and might not be actually sorry for it - thats just my opinion tho!

Tell her that your annoyed about and see what she says.

I'd be more annoyed about her talking to your friend though and saying how she knows your jealous.

Talliesin

Here's a few things you need to be considering:

1. Drinking enough to do something you wouldn't normally do is a bad idea, especially if she's as young as you (assuming you entered the correct birth date in your profile). Yes this is nothing to do with your question. Yes this is going top of the list anyway.
2. Is she a touchy-feely person generally?
3. How do you feel about that?
4. Is she someone that needs to experiment a bit at this stage in her life?
5. How do you feel about that?

Now that particular kiss isn't anything to worry about if you ask me, just a bit of innocent fun, but her general way of behaving with other people, and whether they're compatible with yours, might be.

Steoob

talliesin: 1: we weren't drinking that much really... she was drunk enough to go home pretend to be sober and not get caught... so evaluate that for yourself
2: i dont really know what you mean try and rephrase it coz i dont know how it applies really
4: she can experiment when shes not in a serious relationship... i dont mind... but now i kinda do

WhiteWashMan

look, its obviously an issue for you.
thats ok. youre entitled to be annoyed about it.

the question is, now you have established you are annoyed, what are you going to do about it?

1

Talliesin wrote:

I can't wait for the "Men and women can't really be friends" brigade to start on "Women and women can't really be friends" too.

Waits for Lol's..................

Very funny though. oh how we laughed.

Steoob

well we were talking this morning fine but its just tonight that ive been upset about it i texted her sayin how i felt and she hasn't replied...

kittenkiller

She might be upset herself & embarassed by how she behaved.
Don't be bugging her & just try to sleep on it.
(really don't mean that to sound like you're harassing her btw)

tman

you should lock lips with your best bud.
SEE HOW THE BITCH LIKES HER OWN MEDICINE!!!

blah

I have to mention the most important thing, that the OP missed the kiss altogether. That's what I'd be most pissed off about. If she feels bad you should get her to make it up by getting the three of you together for a repeat of the kiss. It's the only way to make things better!

delly

As a married twenty-something, i'll try not to sound like an old fogey.

/me climbs into a DeLorean

If i remember back to my teen years, i was definitely the jealous type, and something like this would have really pissed me off. It probably wouldn't have been the fact that it was a bird, but more so that she wouldn't have thought of me enough not to do it knowing that i was jealous. Pissed or not it shows to me a lack of consideration. It may be a bit of a laugh to her, but she also gave you the two fingers in front of your peers, and didn't really seem bothered at how you would react.

In terms of what you should do, and my opinion here is based on how your head is currently messed up, you could;

1) Let her know that what happend is not on and that regardless of how much she thought it was a laugh, it seriously pissed you of.

2) Tell her its all over, lifes too short to be stressing out over something that you had no control over.

3) Get the camcoder out and see if she'll partake in a little home movie.

(i put that last option in to look young and hip)

Keyzer

God almighty....
What you should do is this... Invite the other girl over for drinks in your place while the ball and chain is there.. Get them both locked.. bring up the kissing incident and ask for a re-enactment... And as they say in the News oif the World, one thing may lead to another and luckily you'll all end up in bed with smiles on your faces... That is of course if the mates a cracker...

If shes a munter then dump your bird....

TerrorFirmer

My girlfriends best friend once asked me do you mind if i kiss your girlfriend?

I said sure, knock yourself out

So she did

And it never came between us in the slightest. dont worry about it, in any case, id only start worrying if it happened too regularly or with a guy....

Talliesin

steoob wrote:

talliesin: 1: we weren't drinking that much really... she was drunk enough to go home pretend to be sober and not get caught... so evaluate that for yourself

I can't really. I know 16 year olds tend to be nowhere near as good as hiding their state of intoxication than they think they are, which probably sounds a bit snotty to say, but really, as you get older you don't get any better at it, you just don't have to as often.

steoob wrote:

2: i dont really know what you mean try and rephrase it coz i dont know how it applies really

Is she someone who is given to hugging and touching people in a friendly way. Such people are more likely to give someone a snog as a joke and mean nothing off it (particularly a straight person snogging a member of the same sex, or a gay person snogging a member of the opposite sex) and as such it may not even occur to her that you'd feel there was anything to it, reasoning that if she's straight and the other person was a girl then there couldn't be.

steoob wrote:

4: she can experiment when shes not in a serious relationship

What does she feel about that? (There isn't a right or wrong way to feel about that, but if the two of you aren't on the same page that could be an issue).

Steoob

ive been talking to her about it and weve kinda sorted things out, ive just said to her that in her opinion it wasn't cheating but in mine it was so therefore she didn't intentionally try to hurt me but if she had kissed a guy then it would be cheating obviosly and would mean that she was trying to hurt me so thats why i feel better... things wont be the same for a while but we'll work through it thanks for all your advise on this...

Victor

Can people lighten off the "snigger, snigger, threesome" comments?

Intox

howaya mate, everyones reactions differ, i remember when i was away on holidays with my mates and our girlfriends we stayed in on the last night and had the mother of all sessions

my male mate and myself were urging our girlfriends to kiss each other, just drunk stupidity and harmless fun in our eyes, man we even got them to touch nipples!

but if it was a fella its just natural reaction to get mad/jelous but in some cases it doesnt matter if its a fella or a bird that your partner is kissing, as i said everyones reactions differ

sit down with your girl and talk it through, the key to a good relationship is to not sleep on an issue


best o luck

Altheus

For me it's the intentions behind the kiss. She didnt realise you'd get upset, and it definitely wasn't meant as a, "I really like her", kinda thing.

Just let her know your not down with it, and that you'd like her to possibly not do it again. It's different from a fella, because she has a different perspective on it. Let her know your position, and if she apologise great, if not, tell her that she can eat kebabs instead of sausages from now on cuz you want nothing to do with her... Don't stress, it was innocent enough fun, and as much it hurts you know it's not really cheating until you make it clear you believe it is.

Too many people believe in monogamy and that doesnt show leniancy towards her girlfriends, if she doesnt respect it, then dump her.

DawnMc

steoob wrote:

Hi, i have a girlfriend, We've been going out for 6 months and we both love each other more than anything in the world. Last night we were at a house party and we were both drinking and i guess we both got pretty hammered.

When the night was in full swing tho i went off to the bathroom for a minute and when i came back everyone was all laughing and shocked and **** coz my girlfriend had just kissed her best-friend(and a very good friend of mine) with tongue and from the look on her face she pretty much seemed to like it. When i heard what happened i didn't even know what to think, i was pretty upset anyway.

I guess if it was a guy that she kissed it would mean that she had an attraction to him but when its a girl who is her best friend then its just a drunken piss around yaknow? is it cheating? coz to me it kinda seems like it is and then if its that my girlfrind may have bsexual tendensies that maybe she was attracted to her friend which means it really is cheating. **** i dunno im just so screwed up today i cant stop thinking about it i dont know if things can ever be the same someone help me please, thanks

Wow, I've had this conversation with so many of my friends/boyfriend/friends boyfriends. A lot of guys find it a turn on but equally, a lot of guys consider it cheating. I think us girls generally think scoring another girl is just a laugh and don't even fathom the thought of it being cheating!! Talk to your girlf and tell her how you feel. Honestly. My bet is she did it coz she thought you'd find it arousing!

Sandals

steoob wrote:

Hi, i have a girlfriend, We've been going out for 6 months and we both love each other more than anything in the world. Last night we were at a house party and we were both drinking and i guess we both got pretty hammered.

When the night was in full swing tho i went off to the bathroom for a minute and when i came back everyone was all laughing and shocked and **** coz my girlfriend had just kissed her best-friend(and a very good friend of mine) with tongue and from the look on her face she pretty much seemed to like it. When i heard what happened i didn't even know what to think, i was pretty upset anyway.

I guess if it was a guy that she kissed it would mean that she had an attraction to him but when its a girl who is her best friend then its just a drunken piss around yaknow? is it cheating? coz to me it kinda seems like it is and then if its that my girlfrind may have bsexual tendensies that maybe she was attracted to her friend which means it really is cheating. **** i dunno im just so screwed up today i cant stop thinking about it i dont know if things can ever be the same someone help me please, thanks

Set her up, set her up, get a good lucking girl
and ask her to climb into your girlfriends room stripped naked and try and seduce, then you will know wherin her intentions lie