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When your partnet's son is coming

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  • 26-06-2005 9:06pm
    #1
    mounti
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭


    My partner has 11 years old son by her first marrige when she was very young. The boy was living with his father for years. But two mongths ago, his father had a car accident, so he is coming to live with us. I never expected things like this. How am I going to deal with a teenage I've never met before?

    I love my girlfriend and we are planning to start our own family. But I am really not sure about what's gona happen.

    Any suggestion are appreciated!


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    #2
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    http://www.ditched.ie/children/listing.asp?WTCID=15&WTSID=69

    http://www.clubmac.ie/cgi-bin/pod/pod.cgi?dir=/Home/Family/Parenting/Step_Parents/

    There are rescources out there.

    Yes your not his Dad, nor are you his parent, nor are you his freind.
    But you an an adult who's home he will be living in.
    You need to welcome him but have a serious setting of boundries and grounds
    session, first with your partner so that you both agree from the begining.
    Then with him, the two of you so he can see there is no getting around either of you.

    He is going to be lost , hurt, confused and upset.
    He may feel that liking you at all is a betraying his Dad.
    Try and find out what his routine was and try keep him two it.
    Talk to his Dad and let him know you and our partner have talked to
    his Dad and he cant play one against the other.

    gingerbread do have support and services I would suggest getting touch with them.


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    #3
    mounti
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭mounti


    Thank you, Thaed. Have read some links, glad to know that I am not the only one who gets confused....


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    #4
    Alanna
    Closed Accounts Posts: 60 ✭✭Alanna


    Being a step parent can be very rewarding, I find that being simply friendly and welcoming works a treat. Keep in mind that kids, although lots of trouble occasionally, are really good fun. Good luck


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