mmm...confused I guess?!?

nobby2k1

I'm not sure what I am...yes I really like guys but also figured that I like girls...well at least I think I do..just not sure how far these feelings go?? Thing is, I have no problems walking in to a gay bar or club but I tried going to the Outhouse on Thursday and couldn't go in...well I tell a lie..myself and my mate walked in, stoped at the notice board as felt uncomfortable, so I suggested we head to Yello for a few beers as I felt like complete plonker and well outside my comfort zone. I'd asked her to come with me as am pretty shy and really didn't want to walk in to somewhere where I knew no-one.

So just wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how best I can eh..get past my little hurdle and acutally make it past the front door?
ATB,
Nobby

snappieT

You shouldn't push yourself... it may feel unconfortable now because you are confused. Eventually you will be happy with your status, understand exactly how you feel about both genders, you will be ready to go where-ever without feeling nervous and self conscious.

Stark

Or you could feel totally certain of your sexuality but still feel nervous about walking into a place full of strangers and meeting them. Just remember, the first time is always the worst.

I remember joining an LGB and totally chickening out of it the first time. I've heard the same story from countless others. Once you get over that initial hurdle, it's fine.

claire h

nobby2k1 wrote:

I'm not sure what I am...yes I really like guys but also figured that I like girls...well at least I think I do..just not sure how far these feelings go?? Thing is, I have no problems walking in to a gay bar or club but I tried going to the Outhouse on Thursday and couldn't go in...well I tell a lie..myself and my mate walked in, stoped at the notice board as felt uncomfortable, so I suggested we head to Yello for a few beers as I felt like complete plonker and well outside my comfort zone. I'd asked her to come with me as am pretty shy and really didn't want to walk in to somewhere where I knew no-one.

So just wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how best I can eh..get past my little hurdle and acutally make it past the front door?
ATB,
Nobby

If it's important to you to be able to do it right away, then drag your friend along again and just do it, and say to yourself that if you're still uncomfortable after, say, ten minutes, you can leave then. Chances are you won't be, but give yourself permission in advance to get out of there if you're not happy being there.

But if it isn't something you absolutely need to do right now, then just give yourself time to figure out who you are etc, and things like that'll get easier. Good luck, either way.

Talliesin

Maybe start with gay-friendly venues, rather than gay venues.

meathguy

Sexuality is not always a clear cut thing, and going out to gay clubs has
little to do with how you feel.
The question is which turns you on more? Posh or Becks?
or maybe both!
The thing is... labels are for tins in tesco's, do whatever you feel most comfortable and happiest, don't put yourself under pressure to live up to an
ideal that just isn't you.

damien

meathguy wrote:

The thing is... labels are for tins in tesco's

What's wrong with Dunne's?

I can see it now:

Mum, Dad, generic family pet, I have something to tell you all. Well, I don't know how I should say this really, well, er, uhm, I guess I need to tell you before others do cos I've been spotted with, well, I'm sure you may have guessed anyway, some of my friends seemed to know before I did, but, well. *deep breath* I shop in Tesco's, but I'm still the same guy as before really, apart from my taste in retail establishments, and I know it's not a phase, since I was a young boy I've always found myself drawn to the store. Mum, Dad, you ok ?

Stark

The question is which turns you on more? Posh or Becks?
or maybe both!

Or neither :rolleyes: