Answers that you've always wanted!!

THE DUDE.......

ok i tink we should all join together and help each other with all those annoying questions that we ask ourselves when we're in deep spiritual thought or when we're drunk........ah go on you know you have something that you've wanted to know about.......rite ill start

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in?

What do vegetarians feed their dogs?

aidan_walsh

Why is this thread in humour?

THE DUDE.......

cos da last time i asked people dese questions was wen i was drunk and i was attempting da moonwalk on top of da bar and dey just bring back funny thoughts to me.well it wasnt really funny at da time cos my legs wudnt move at da same time

pwd

1) It's all relative
2) No you rot in the clothes you were buried in
3) Dog food

THE DUDE.......

can you get dog food without meat in it????????

TerrorFirmer

THE DUDE....... wrote:

can you get dog food without meat in it????????

Somewhere, theres got to be a company making it...

airetam_storm

Well assuming Heaven is paradise all women will be wearing NO clothes ;)

TomTom

Correction, all the sexy women will be wearing no clothes.



mmm, hold on, how can you WEAR no clothes?

airetam_storm

TomTom wrote:

Correction, all the sexy women will be wearing no clothes.



mmm, hold on, how can you WEAR no clothes?

Stop punching holes in my logic damn it

But yeah i hope ugly women are sent to a different heaven:D

pwd

maybe they become beautiful in heaven. If by heaven you mean rotting into the dirt., And by beauitiful you mean becoming a fetid corpse slowly being consumed by worms and rats

Rhyme

1. Because only some people are truly ignorant

2. You are naked in heaven... your clothes are dirt

3. Vegetables

MooShop

is this supposed to be humour?

its a lame attempt if it is

Ishmael

I've always wanted to know the answer to that riddle with the the three guys in the restaurant, they pay €10 each for a meal, they guy comes back with €5 and gives them €1 each and keeps €2 yo-yos for himself.
where did that other euro go?
ie 9 x 3 = 27 + 2 = 29.

Stabshauptmann

I hear vegitarians get eaten by their dogs :eek:

MooShop wrote:

is this supposed to be humour?

its a lame attempt if it is

must be beyond you so

This thread is a very good idea, but no.2 is from the simpsons.

the_syco

Ishmael wrote:

I've always wanted to know the answer to that riddle with the the three guys in the restaurant, they pay €10 each for a meal, they guy comes back with €5 and gives them €1 each and keeps €2 yo-yos for himself.
where did that other euro go?
ie 9 x 3 = 27 + 2 = 29.

10+10+10=30

He comes back with €5 change

From this he takes €1 for each person (their change)

1*3=3

He keeps €2 himself (as he can't split it).

3(collective euro's)+2(his 2 euro)=€5 (the change)

This is the €5 he came back with. Where did you get €29 from?

The trick is, that you're still thinking of the €30, when in fact he only shared out the €5

Capt'n Midnight

THE DUDE....... wrote:

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

ignorance - how would they know - how would you know ?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in?

apart from recent low budget (clue there) US TV stuff, most older depictions of heaven show people in white angel robes with wings.

What do vegetarians feed their dogs?

unlike cats they are not obligate carnivores, like bears they can survive quite happily on vegetables, Linda McCarty's dog might be the most famous example.


Questions like how the snowplough driver gets to work in the morning (did you ever see a snowplough parked outside a house) have a lot more life in them than those.

Ishmael

the_syco wrote:

10+10+10=30

He comes back with €5 change

From this he takes €1 for each person (their change)

1*3=3

He keeps €2 himself (as he can't split it).

3(collective euro's)+2(his 2 euro)=€5 (the change)

This is the €5 he came back with. Where did you get €29 from?

The trick is, that you're still thinking of the €30, when in fact he only shared out the €5

yeah, but if he gave each person €1 back that means each person only paid €9 rather than €10 hence the 9 x 3 = 27
27 plus the €2 he kept gives €29 :eek:

the_syco

Ishmael wrote:

yeah, but if he gave each person €1 back that means each person only paid €9 rather than €10 hence the 9 x 3 = 27
27 plus the €2 he kept gives €29 :eek:

Ishmael wrote:

I've always wanted to know the answer to that riddle with the the three guys in the restaurant, they pay €10 each for a meal, they guy comes back with €5 and gives them €1 each and keeps €2 yo-yos for himself.
where did that other euro go?
ie 9 x 3 = 27 + 2 = 29.

He comes back with 5, give 3 euro away, and keeps 2. 2+3=5 Its meant to wreak your mind, as most people will subtract the 1 from the 10, whereas your only meant to count the 5 he got back.

THE DUDE.......

MooShop wrote:

is this supposed to be humour?

its a lame attempt if it is

This thread is obviously beyond your intelligence.

go back to ur shop of cows, mooshop.

p.s. do you sell killer cows with red eyes cos if you do then ill have one please.those goddamn leprechauns are getting on my nerves.

Einstein

THE DUDE....... wrote:

This thread is obviously beyond your intelligence.

no, it's just a crap thread

THE DUDE.......

ah go on dere most be something weird dat uv always wanted to know about

Megatron

Do clowns taste funny ?

THE DUDE.......

well if dey have lots of make-up on den dat mightened taste too nice

Ishmael

Megatron wrote:

Do clowns taste funny ?

I dunno, what does funny taste like??

THE DUDE.......

Ishmael wrote:

I dunno, what does funny taste like??

red aftershock+salt and vinegar hunky dorys+milk+gravy+one sausage+elephant poo+a hint of malteser essence=funny

Dave

No, no it's not.

frodi

the_syco wrote:

He comes back with 5, give 3 euro away, and keeps 2. 2+3=5 Its meant to wreak your mind, as most people will subtract the 1 from the 10, whereas your only meant to count the 5 he got back.

Each guy gave €9 (€10 less €1 back)= 3x 9= 27
Restaurant gets €25 (original €30 less €5 change)
Waiter gets €2. €27 - €2 = €25.

jaggeh

THE DUDE....... wrote:

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in?

What do vegetarians feed their dogs?

1. because happiness dies, life is pain. (southpark goths rule)

2. No you wear suits made of the skin of people gone to hell, you know people who send round email circulars and the homeless.

3. human flesh