Nice girl's finish last too...

Barbie_666

i was going out with my boyfriend for almost 11 months, and he dumped me yesterday.I was nice to him, caring, yet I gave him space to hang out with his friends.I done everything I could for him, and more importantly, I love him.
needed to get this of my chest, as my friends are all loved up, and i don't want to bring them down.:(
Thanks for reading, and if you have any advice on how to get over a break-up, I'd be very grateful.
Cheers.x

kasintahan

Did he find some better or what was his particular objection to you?

(this sounds callous I know)

Sleepy

The quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else

You're still young and tbh, 11 months is a long relationship for someone of 18. I'm sure it feels terrible now but you'll be surprised at how fast you'll get over him. Don't waste your energy thinking about what a ba$tard he is for breaking up with you or thinking about how to get him back, try to focus that energy on getting back out there and meeting new people. I'm guessing that you've either just finished your Leaving Cert or First Year, the coming years were the best of my life so far so make the most of them, meet new people, find new hobbies through college clubs and societies (and make some new drinking buddies!). Live your life to the fullest and you'll be over him very quickly.

Karl Hungus

99% of the worlds population are jerks.

Fact.

Barbie_666

one miniute he's talking about kids&marrige in the future, commitment, and going on holidays together, and moving in together4 the summer, next thing I know, his Dad takes a dislike to me, and my boyfriend becomes my ex.

Karl Hungus

Serious advice, don't become bitter and resentfull over the whole thing. Life is a grindstone, and whether it wears us down or polishes us up is all up to us. Remember that, and you should come out of this experience a better person.

muckwarrior

"Nothin lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change"

Barbie_666

we agreed to stay friends, but he used to call me and text me every day, i miss him already.

Karl Hungus

Take up a hobby to get your mind off it.

muckwarrior

Barbie_666 wrote:

i miss him already.

Thats inevitable really. It'll just take some time...

Barbie_666

easier said than done, im 18, live in the middle of nowhere, and everything i do reminds me of him.iv barley left my room since yesterday.november rain, lovely song.

Sleepy

Karl Hungus wrote:

Life is a grindstone, and whether it wears us down or polishes us up is all up to us.

Nice Philosophy

Seriously Barbie666, get out of your room, stop sitting in listening to "your" song, don't start texting him and think about one thing: if the guy's not able to make up his own mind about you over the course of 11 months of going out with you and prefers to be Daddy's little boy, do you really, honestly, want to be going out with him?

Go out, kiss some interesting randomer and remind yourself of some of the advantages of being single. I'm sure there's no shortage of 18 year old guys on here that would only love to take you out some night!

Webmonkey

Like me

CaptainPeacock

I'm not sure if having an 11-month romance that ended is finishing last. You might not call it first but it's not last. Finishing last would be more like abject and ongoing loneliness.

I think living in the middle of nowhere might be more of a worry, though. You need a car, a friend with a car, or at the very least a decent bus service.

Webmonkey

Would the middle of no where be kerry?

Nevyn

Webmonkey this is not a dating forum.
Please read the charter,
Have a nice day.
Thaed

chump

Go for a walk!


My advice would be to move onwards.
And I gaurantee he'll be on to you before the end of this week looking for some action, then you've an even tougher decision to make.

To be strung along, or to move on...

WISE WORDS BARBIE

Webmonkey

I was only messing about. Jeez not my day today, mods warning and banning me like crazy. I'm usually good, breaking all rules today.
Anyways thanks will read charter now for once.

Webmonkey

p~b

get over it, its only a fella, its not like someone died or anything like that

gsand

happens to every1

ull be that much smarter and more experienced for next time

Mist

The best thing is not to "Still be friends" because that leaves links to the past. Just go and do something or someone new and you will forget about him in no time.

Tar.Aldarion

suggest going out with frineds and having fun/gettin your mind off him.

Fysh

If you're feeling really bad about it, go out and spend lots of time with your friends. Try and do stuff you didn't do much when the two of you were together - if you had friends you didn't see that often, or activities you wanted to do but didn't do so you could spend time with him, go out and get stuck in again. If you don't already have one, start finding out about new hobbies. If it's a possibility, think about getting away somewhere for a few days with some friends who understand what's happening.

Resist the temptation to stay in and mope, it only makes things worse.

TBH if it was serious to you, it's too soon now to know whether being "just friends" will work. Leave it a while, get some emotional distance and then you'll be able to decide whether you can be friends or not.

Oh, and fast upbeat music helps, or at least it's working so far for me, anyway....

Nuttzz

Barbie_666 wrote:

one miniute he's talking about kids&marrige in the future, commitment, and going on holidays together, and moving in together4 the summer,.

At 18???? WTF?

Your far too young to be investing so much emotional capital, get out there and meet new people, there is no need to be looking such long term plans just yet

Sifo

lifes too short... you need to turn to your friends for support, thats what friends are for, not just the good times but the bad times aswell, if this was happening to my friend i'd make them tell me wats wrong and help them through it...

Beruthiel

Barbie_666 wrote:

one miniute he's talking about kids&marrige in the future, commitment, and going on holidays together, and moving in together4 the summer, next thing I know, his Dad takes a dislike to me, and my boyfriend becomes my ex.

what else can you expect from someone so young?
seriously
at 18 years of age, the last thing that should be on your mind is such a serious commitment like the one above.
get on with your life, go out, meet other people and enjoy the next few years before you start to get serious and have to cope with all the responsibility involved in a serious commitment.

conman

barbie.

what u need to do is listen to this album: Depeche Mode - ultra....


Dave Gahan wrote it when in Rehab recovering from a killer concoction of alcohol + drugs that kiled him for a few seconds / minutes...
I no its deep, but it makes u feel much better of who u r, as u no this guy has experienced so much worse....
he near lost his life / career / friends, was locked up 4 a little bit in a cell..
so how low can we go?

anyway...
Its hard to get over it, i cannot advise, we all deal with it differently..
i think a good sob, a good pissup + then let ur life take u where ever u go...
u dont need to jump into another relationship.. jsut go out + have fun with ur friends + let everything fall into its own place...

Con

DAEDULUS

Barbie_666 wrote:

Nice girl's finish last too...

haha,good one...

Beruthiel

DAEDULUS wrote:

haha,good one...

next unhelpful comment from you will result in a banning

ClareBear

Barbie_666 wrote:

we agreed to stay friends, but he used to call me and text me every day, i miss him already.

I know exactly how you feel hun. I hope everything works out okay for you sooner rather than later. You're better than him. Hugs xxx

MiamiDancer

Barbie_666 wrote:

we agreed to stay friends, but he used to call me and text me every day, i miss him already.

I know exactly how you feel and its not easy but what u really need to do is start doing fun things without him get some friends together (preferably single friends ) and have a mad night out - maybe in a different town where u wont see him or his mates your gonna miss him for a while but seriously it gets a lot easier and being single can be lots of fun your way too young to get tied down think of all the fun things you could miss out on!! Enjoy life while you can your only young once!!

Blondie86Star

I know how you feel, like your heart has been ripped out of your body and throw on the floor, you wanna cry but you can't cos it hurts so much.

I went out with someone for 6 months last year, he cheated on me, I lost a stone i a week cos I just couldn't eat, all I did was focus on the pain.

The thing is you DO get over it, it took me about 2 months to finally get over it. I'm with someone now, 8 months and have never felt better.

I left it 5 months till i started going out with him.

I know how much it hurts, but go out, get pissed, watch 'Love Actually' and eat chocolate icecream, with whipped cream!

There are nice guys out there, ones who will treat you so well and make you feel incredible.

Good Luck, and talk to your friends about it, that's what their there for

Femelade

i know exactly how u feel barbie
nice girls do finish last
the last 2 years have been hell for me,
it feels like never-ending heartbreak.
i've gotten close to a few people but it always ends up with them making a complete fool out of me.

where does it end?

Blondie86Star

Maybe it's Irish guys, my bfs from London! go 4 the foreigners!

Kingp35

Blondie86Star wrote:

Maybe it's Irish guys, my bfs from London! go 4 the foreigners!

Hey thats a bit harsh!! Us Irish guys arent all bad! Take that back

Anyway yeah I agree with what most people are saying here you are far too young to be thinking about things like that. Go out and live the single life for a while and enjoy yourself. Go and experience the things you cant experience while your in a relationship. Your only young once and there will be plenty of time in the future to worry about things like this but now isnt it.

The worst thing you can do with a break up is sit around doing nothing. You have to go aout and do stuff with your friends or join a club or a gym or anything that will get you out of the house. You say you live in middle of no where but im sure someone you know has access to a car so you can go places. Ill say again the worst thing you can do is sit around doing nothing. The beat a break up you need to be active keep yourself active and it will help you alot. Good luck

Le Rack

Barbie_666 wrote:

we agreed to stay friends, but he used to call me and text me every day, i miss him already.

I bin there and he hasn't spoken to me in about two months or more, we broke up three months ago!

Barbie_666

just to let ya all know, we broke up on monday last, he text me by wednesday, seen him in a night club on sunday night, he couldn't stand that i was chatting to other guys, so today we met up, chatted about everything, figured out where it all went wrong, and were starting over, right from the start!

Sifo

good for you babe...