FFS, whats he playing at?

Femelade

ok, was meeting this guy with the past 3 weeks or so.
he used to call most nights after work and we used to have a laugh.
he finished work early on monday(around half 2), so he rang and said he was just going to have a bite to eat and then he was calling over.(he only lives about 3 or 4 miles away)
thats the last i heard of him......
its wedneasday now and i'm going demented!
i rang him once today and once last nite, with no reply.
i txted him a few times monday, just doing the mess, saying he was a sleepy head(thought he had gone to bed instead of calling cos he has only got an hours sleep the night before, which was fine by me, if that was the reason.)
i txted him twice yesterday, and once 2day with no replies....

this is not normal is it?
why would some1 do that, its just pure mean, don't ye think?

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

maybe he's in the hospital?

Beruthiel

mean perhaps
but not surprising
some blokes don't know how to say they've moved on and it's bye bye for you, if they ignore you, eventually you'll go away.
I suggest you do.

Femelade

i'd have heard if anything had happened to him,
Ber, i think it is kinda mean and surprising. one min he rings and says he's gonna call and then thats it! why say he was going to call if he had no intention of it? he was in good form too and we were having a laugh on the phone.
He lives locally, good friends with my older brother and wife and another few couples i am very good friends with also.
i am going to leave him off now but i will be seeing him around this weekend like i always do and he's just after making things awkward.

BizzyC

Maybe the fact that you've sent 5 texts and tried to ring him a couple of times in the past few days......

Ease off a bit, maybe he fell asleep and was a bit scared by all your attempts to get a hold of him...

Sleepy

Maybe he scored someone else after work and is afraid to face you?

ionapaul

I have to admit I know his (apparent) method of rejection well - ignore 'em till they just go away. Don't know why I do this, but it comes naturally to all men!

PIguru

Femmy wrote:

this is not normal is it?
why would some1 do that, its just pure mean, don't ye think?

I see this so often is crazy...

2 possible reasons..
#1: He might actually be tired and hasnt got the time to give you a call,fair enough..It sometimes happens...
#2: Most likely issue... From how you described your man it seems as though hes a good laugh and maybe good with women?..
Ever heard of 'treat em mean,keep em keen'?..Thats exactly what he's doing to you..He knows if he doesnt call you that your going to freak out and start calling all your girlfriends asking how long they hadnt heard from their boyfriends at any one time,keeping you anxious and thinking about him.
It's all a game,just like hard to get and sending mixed signals,focussed on confusing the other person and not letting them know what your thinking or how you feel,causing mystery..which women love.
It also gives the impression that he isnt needy or desperate for your attention which is good..


Beruthiel,men do not just 'lose interest' in a woman(especially not after just 3weeks..),if she's hot she's hot and thats how it works,her looks will not just dissapear and dont ever think that her personality is more important so if she's annoying he'l ignore her..Men will stay with a girl if her attitude is JUST berrible,because she is good looking..

Trust me Femmy,he still likes you and should hear from him within the next few days,just wait it out...

PIguru !

Femelade

PIguru wrote:

I see this so often is crazy...

2 possible reasons..
#1: He might actually be tired and hasnt got the time to give you a call,fair enough..It sometimes happens...
#2: Most likely issue... From how you described your man it seems as though hes a good laugh and maybe good with women?..
Ever heard of 'treat em mean,keep em keen'?..Thats exactly what he's doing to you..He knows if he doesnt call you that your going to freak out and start calling all your girlfriends asking how long they hadnt heard from their boyfriends at any one time,keeping you anxious and thinking about him.
It's all a game,just like hard to get and sending mixed signals,focussed on confusing the other person and not letting them know what your thinking or how you feel,causing mystery..which women love.
It also gives the impression that he isnt needy or desperate for your attention which is good..


Beruthiel,men do not just 'lose interest' in a woman(especially not after just 3weeks..),if she's hot she's hot and thats how it works,her looks will not just dissapear and dont ever think that her personality is more important so if she's annoying he'l ignore her..Men will stay with a girl if her attitude is JUST berrible,because she is good looking..

Trust me Femmy,he still likes you and should hear from him within the next few days,just wait it out...

PIguru !

hey thanks guru!
you know me so well, i've been talking to sisters and friends for the past two days about the whole situ.
anyways.....he txted earlier, said he was sick.
i dunno, he shouldve known i'd be wondering what was the story, he still couldve txted.
He is playing a game with me i know.
but he knows that i dont play games.
got hurt in a relationship with a guy before that played nothing but games and it turned out 2 be just that, a big game to him. ( he knows about this cos he's friends with the guy).

anyway, i replied, saying that he shoulve txted cos i was worried when he didnt arrive at my house for 2 days.
havent heard anything back, wouldnt be surprised if i didnt hear from him for another 2 days!


-Femmy

LundiMardi

he's moved on, it's obvious, if us men like someone, we don't beat around the muff, err, sorry, bush.

He's not interested. Sorry.

Tobias Greeshman

He's either met someone else and moved on, not interested or is enjoying messing with your head (he's friends with your ex thats messed with your head, for gods sake).

Either way can you honestly see anything positive coming from having a relationship with a person like this? Personally if a girl treated me like this, Id kick the bítch to the kerb fairly lively!!

OLDYELLAR

Why bother ringing to say I`ll be over ?I dont get it , I know the ignore em method but a guy has never rang me to remind me hes around and then get me worried sick and ignore me.
Loose him Femmy , sounds like a tw*t , he could of at least texted to say I wont be around , Im even mad just reading it , Unless he was in hospital sick theres no excuse , what like he came down with a killer bug right after he rang ya , bloody idiot!
Ya deserve someone better , someone who actually turns up after they ring an say Im cvoming over.

Femelade

true, i'm just not going to get in contact with him again, its up to him.
he said he had tonsilitis, which could very well be true cos i was very sick with it myself during the week(probably gave it to him) but i was still able to pick up a phone a press a few buttons.

why oh why do i always pick the fu(kers!!!!

and the worst thing is that only last weekend when i was out loads of people said it to me how good it was to see me with some1 nice and hoping it would work out.

AAHHH

Femelade

silas wrote:

(he's friends with your ex thats messed with your head, for gods sake).

sorry when i meant friends, they dont know eachother that well, just knows him, but also knows our history.

OLDYELLAR

He needs a few digs , Yer better off without getting messed around like that.I think so anyway.

Einstein

OLDYELLAR wrote:

He needs a few digs , Yer better off without getting messed around like that.I think so anyway.

I agree,
don't paint all the blokes with the same paintbrush...there are some of us out there that know basic manners and respect.

OLDYELLAR

Theres lots of nice guys out there , Head games aernt fun and the fact that he waited 2 days to reply when you were obviouisly worried shows he doesnt really care about your feelings , Im sorry to say it but its true , texting isnt a great strain , ya deserve better.

Femelade

Divers wrote:

I agree,
don't paint all the blokes with the same paintbrush...there are some of us out there that know basic manners and respect.

oh i know, just i seem to pick the guys with NO basic manners OR respect.

i know i should forget about him, but like they say easier said than done.

i'll do my best, and if i feel the urge to txt him or ring him, i'll just come on here and type my little heart out.

claireoby

i was datin a fella for a while and we went on like 4 dates one week and then he stopped txtin and replyin. so after 3 wks of bein patient and assumin that he just didnt like me, i bumped into his friend and he told me that my fella thought the best way to break up with me was just to ignore me as if i didnt exist...fellas..stupid or wat??

Yv

yeah i remember a couple of yrs back i was with someone for 4 or 5 wks, he used to ring me every night. then about 3 nights passed with no word from him - i'm not the kind of girl to fret or hassle ppl & tend to leave things be but then on the 4th night he called. he said:
1) that he'd been feverish with hypothermia because he'd walked to school with no jumper on;
2) that he wasn't allowed call anymore because it was too expensive and his mom was getting annoyed;
3) that he thought we should break up.

translation: i was too weak to tell you i wanted out 3 nights ago, and have since had to make up a few weak excuses to cover my ass.

lol, hypothermia of all things.

moral of the story: some guys don't handle the whole end-of-relationship thing terribly well. :P

Einstein

Yv wrote:

1) that he'd been feverish with hypothermia because he'd walked to school with no jumper on

lol, feverish with hypothermia...haha...tosspot...

Yv

i see that now :P

Plastic Scouser

Terrible confession coming up.......

It's not just boys that do the ignoring thing! I'm a girl and in my youth I'm afraid that I was guilty of letting things 'fizzle out' a few times myself! (The shame! )

the_syco

You seem a little bit obsessive. Maybe your scaring the poor lad.

Quick question: do you let him have any "me time"? If not, he could just be having some "me time" at the moment.

OLDYELLAR

He rang her though an said im coming over , obviously she was goina try contact him after he didnt bother showing up and didnt even text , I would a done the exact same thing myself , Id make a point of getting him interested now , just to dump him , the spa!

Stench Blossoms

Feck him! That was a horrible thing to do by telling you he was coming over and then hearing nothing from him..

Happened to me a few years ago. I was soo bloody pissed off because i didnt get any impression that he wasn't interested. He made the first move, he asked me for my number, he was asking all my mates about me!

Ah men!

I'd say just forget about him. If he text's you don't bother writing back. I know it will be hard but just try your best not to text him.

PIguru

why are you still all replying with your stupid 'hes moved on' advice...I already solved the situation so you can all put your little inexperienced advice away..

edit- knowing that im gonna get flamed for this,why dont you just post a pick of your self Femmy so I can confirm my thoughts...seriously,if your ugly he may have left you(dont really have much experience in the ugly sector so i dont know :P),if your hot..hes playing games

Kell

PIguru wrote:

Beruthiel,men do not just 'lose interest' in a woman(especially not after just 3weeks..),if she's hot she's hot and thats how it works,her looks will not just dissapear and dont ever think that her personality is more important so if she's annoying he'l ignore her..Men will stay with a girl if her attitude is JUST berrible,because she is good looking..

Are you off your f*cking rocker woman?? What a load of horse sh*t. Men drop women like sh*t off a shovel if she is a head wrecker irrelevent of looks. Believe it or not our gender is not that shallow. Says a lot about you to make such a generalisation.

Femmy- your doing it again. Stop looking for THE ONE as per your post some weeks back. If you werent constantly looking for THE ONE, you wouldnt stress out about this. Lets take worst case scenario and he has lost interest. So what. Move on. No point in getting so hung up about it. FFS after three weeks you are sounding like a love struck teenager as opposed to someone in their mid twenties who's been round the block. Chill.

K-

PIguru

Kell wrote:

Are you off your f*cking rocker woman?? What a load of horse sh*t. Men drop women like sh*t off a shovel if she is a head wrecker irrelevent of looks. Believe it or not our gender is not that shallow. Says a lot about you to make such a generalisation.

Femmy- your doing it again. Stop looking for THE ONE as per your post some weeks back. If you werent constantly looking for THE ONE, you wouldnt stress out about this. Lets take worst case scenario and he has lost interest. So what. Move on. No point in getting so hung up about it. FFS after three weeks you are sounding like a love struck teenager as opposed to someone in their mid twenties who's been round the block. Chill.

K-

First of all,Im not a woman,I'm a lad..
And being a lad,I know that if im with a hot bird for a while that I think is kinda annoying,I'l probably stick around just for her looks(until something better comes along) and drop her if she does something out of line..as I know,I'm not going to marry this girl..or any girl like her.. I find most of my friends thinki the same way,except those of them that arent too successful with women..dunno why,they just seem to get the idea that they only go for women with good personality AND looks,which is total bull of course,as they dont actuallly get ANY girls..and its not as if there arent plenty of cool,hot girls around..

Also,on the topic of Femmy looking for 'the one'...women are always looking for the one..as soon as you meet a girl and start hanging out,they are already thinking about long term relations..so dont bother trying to get her to change that aspect

Sleepy

For the love of jeff, who let Ross O' Carroll Kelly start posting on boards.ie?

Femelade

the_syco wrote:

You seem a little bit obsessive. Maybe your scaring the poor lad.

Quick question: do you let him have any "me time"? If not, he could just be having some "me time" at the moment.

He calls when he wants to call, i never asked him to call to me on account of his work as he works early in the morning till really late at night.

if he's having "me time" why call and say he'll call over in a bit then not hear from him for 2 days?

PIguru wrote:

edit- knowing that im gonna get flamed for this,why dont you just post a pick of your self Femmy so I can confirm my thoughts...seriously,if your ugly he may have left you(dont really have much experience in the ugly sector so i dont know :P),if your hot..hes playing games

no, i'm not going to post a picture of myself. i'm not an ugly girl, i'm not a fu(king stunner either, but not ugly anyway.

Kell wrote:

Femmy- your doing it again. Stop looking for THE ONE as per your post some weeks back. If you werent constantly looking for THE ONE, you wouldnt stress out about this. Lets take worst case scenario and he has lost interest. So what. Move on. No point in getting so hung up about it. FFS after three weeks you are sounding like a love struck teenager as opposed to someone in their mid twenties who's been round the block. Chill.

K-

i know i know i know, but he was the one who started this, he asked me out for a drink, rings and asks can he call over for a bit etc...

BizzyC

Kell is the only one talkinh sense.
Men do drop a woman if she is a headwrecker......
Stop looking for "the One", there is no "One". There are thousands out there with whom you could have a long lasting meaningful relationship.
It's been 3 weeks, relax.

Just ease off him for a while, see what happens.
Ever consider that he may have lost his phone?

Boggle

Sit back and let him do the chasin - you never know what could be goin on. It's possible yer man's just had a head fcuk week and just hasn't had the energy to think/needed to sort things out/whatever. If ye're goin anywhere then it'll happen in its own course.

Of course he may have thought of you as an easy shag (pardon the bluntness) and if he didn't get it then he may have just given up - but you'll have to work that out for yourself. G'luk and above all: Don't Stress!!

Raiser

Seems to me that gals LOVE to yap. Why then do ye subject yourselves to a lifetime of txt'ing and agonising waits for replies that aint gonna happen when its obviosly so painfull for ye? Will he? Won't? Did you hear a beep? Maybe his battery is dead?

If you want to test whether or not he's getting these texts just text him saying that yourself and a good looking friend want to dress up as sexy nurses and experiment with his sexual reflexes. Bet he'll be back to you within' 20 seconds with some lame excuse as to why he hadn't responded sooner - for yes he sounds lame, very lame.

I'll concur with that earlier poster that said guys will chase girls they like, and jump through ridiculous hoops for them - also you can't be chased if you're stuck under his feet being needy....be chaseable.

*Page*

Maybe he lost his phone?

LundiMardi

maybe he fell and couldn't get up?

Chillax the kaks

Femelade

he didnt lose his phone, he txted yesterday to say he had been sick,
imo no excuse to say u'll call and then not.
havent heard from him since then, i replied to that msg but havent sent any since.
its up to him now.

LundiMardi

will ya listen to yourself? jeez!

*Page*

sorry to hear that babe best of luck with the next guy..

WhiteWashMan

maybe maybe maybe.....


it never fails to surprise me how much effort people put into a relationship that after 3 days seems to be going nowhere.

'oh, i havent heard from him in 5 days, but ive phoned and left messages and mailed and texted and i just cant seem to get hold of him. do you think hes playing games?'

if you are getting crap like that after a few weeks, why would you put so much effort into keeping in contact.
have you no self esteem?

do you think that you cant find someone else and this is your last chance of happiness.
no offense, but i see this constantly, and to be honest, it smacks of deperation.

everyone always seems so deperate to keep hold of some partner that they just dont seem to be having fun with.
this whole playing games, not calling, ignoring, being rude, all that crap.
if there is any of that in a relatiosnhip at the start, what makes you so sure it will go away?

why do you feel the need to deperatly try to hang on to someone like this?

the human race never fails to astound me with its stubornness and stupidness.

PIguru

WhiteWashMan wrote:

everyone always seems so deperate to keep hold of some partner that they just dont seem to be having fun with.
stupidness.

but they are having fun...she says they always have a great laugh when they talk,which is a positive sign that hes still interested..

WhiteWashMan

PIguru wrote:

but they are having fun...she says they always have a great laugh when they talk,which is a positive sign that hes still interested..

well, thats great.
but what about the times when she cant get hold of him?

the fact that he talks to her is a sign that hes got a pulse, and is probably trying to angle sex in there somewhere.

Femelade

i was wondering how long it would take WWM to get a hold of this thread and make me look like an idiot.

the first three weeks were great, definately felt like he had interest, but what i just didnt understand was how he could change his mind in the space of an hour or less, to having interest and planning on calling over, to having no interest and ignoring me.

i wasnt txting, ringing, mailing like a mad woman.

the day he didnt call over i let it go for the day and i txted him that nite just messing with him that he had fallen asleep.

the next day i rang once, txted once...i was worried about him, he drives for a living and with very little sleep the night before i was worried that something had happened him, there's nothing wrong with that.

the following day(yesterday) i rang once and txted once, to which he replied that he had been sick.

i havent heard from him since and i expect i probably wont.

The Corinthian

Another possibility is that he’s just hedging his bets and has put you on the back burner as he tries someone else. If that doesn’t work out he can always drop you a line and you’ll accept whatever cock and bull story he comes up with.

Femelade

oh and TC, u took ur time in giving your 2 cents.

The Corinthian

Femmy wrote:

oh and TC, u took ur time in giving your 2 cents.

Be thankful for your replies here. After all, you don't seem to be getting many from men elsewhere.

WhiteWashMan

sorry, is there an issue with people you dont like giving feedback on this thread?

or is it you just dont like the feedback.

i dont propose to make anyone look like a fool, but if my inturpretation of your situation makes you feel like a fool, then maybe there is something to take from it?

instead of getting defensive about something that youve posted about, how about you learn to take things on board?

so let me know about your issues regarding both myself and TC.

and as far as this thread goes. he hasnt called you again. he may he may not, who knows. we dont.

WhiteWashMan

The Corinthian wrote:

After all, you don't seem to be getting many from men elsewhere.

be useful TC,or get your books and your bags...

Beruthiel

now now girls
less of that please!
/edit
speedy wwm

btw femmy
you may not like what tc and wwm have to say, but I'd bet money there's a hint of truth in what they both say

Santa Claus

As Plactic Scouser said, women can be just as guilty of the ignore and they'll go away dumping method.

I know a girl who I went out with years ago and we drifted apart amicably. I always thought she was the one and would have probably have gotten back together with her up until a few months ago if the opputtunity arose.
She'll meet up with you, chat away on phone and text non-stop and then bam, nothing for 2 or 3 weeks, no answers to calls or texts and then she'll pick up where she left off like nothings happened without any explanation / apology.

Femelade

WWM i knew u would arrive and make me out to be an idiot chasing him, with your earlier comment that i was txting ringing mailing....it wasnt like that atall.

your right, he hasnt rang,and i'm resigned to the fact that he prob wont.
the comments here were helpfull, made me thing maybe it was just looking for sex, maybe he is trying his luck with some1 else as we speak.