FFS, whats he playing at?

The Corinthian

WhiteWashMan wrote:

be useful TC,or get your books and your bags...

She started it...

Beruthiel

Femmy wrote:

made me thing maybe it was just looking for sex.

well of course he was, there's not a red blooded bloke on this planet who isn't!

Femelade

Beruthiel wrote:

well of course he was, there's not a red blooded bloke on this planet who isn't!

sorry, i meant ALL he was looking for.

WhiteWashMan

Femmy wrote:

WWM i knew u would arrive and make me out to be an idiot chasing him, with your earlier comment that i was txting ringing mailing....it wasnt like that atall.

your right, he hasnt rang,and i'm resigned to the fact that he prob wont.
the comments here were helpfull, made me thing maybe it was just looking for sex, maybe he is trying his luck with some1 else as we speak.

actually, my comments were fairly generic, and werent aimed at you.
people kept saying that maybe he was this and maybe he was that and maybe he was the other.
who knows, only he does.

if you took something from them, applied it to yourself and came up with your own thoughts (which you did), then like i said, maybe there is something to be said...?

hell, ive dumped girls before by not talking to them. hell, i even did it in college, where we are all sopposed to be very mature!

but who cares about those people? they are just growing up, and it will continue to happen.

its the people that refuse to let someone go when their better natures are suggesting that they should move on.
again, not aimed at you, youre perticular situation is just a small scale scenario that ive seen (and most of us have seen right here on boards) of people who are not willing to let go. i dont think you are stalking him, or obsessing, but you posted up here, so it was serious enough for you to worry about it.

like i said, he may phone you back, he may not. why dont you just phone him and say, 'hey, you didnt ohone, im not going to play stupid games with you, youre dumped. anything to say...? goodbye.'

at least you stop wondering, youve broken contact, you can move on, youre not waiting around in case hes sick, or hes fallen over and is in hospital, etc etc etc.

make any sense?

The Corinthian

Femmy wrote:

your right, he hasnt rang,and i'm resigned to the fact that he prob wont.
the comments here were helpfull, made me thing maybe it was just looking for sex, maybe he is trying his luck with some1 else as we speak.

In fairness while more likely, these are only possibilities. After all, it’s only been two and a half days and it could actually be due to illness or similar. What’s probably more important here is that either way you forget about it and get on with your life.

Regardless, if he does ultimately contact you, be sure to examine whatever excuse he gives you coldly and not believe it simply because you want to believe it. I know from very cynical experience that you can spin pretty much any implausible yarn to a woman if she’s more interested in you than the truth.

Femelade

WhiteWashMan wrote:

actually, my comments were fairly generic, and werent aimed at you.
people kept saying that maybe he was this and maybe he was that and maybe he was the other.
who knows, only he does.

if you took something from them, applied it to yourself and came up with your own thoughts (which you did), then like i said, maybe there is something to be said...?

hell, ive dumped girls before by not talking to them. hell, i even did it in college, where we are all sopposed to be very mature!

but who cares about those people? they are just growing up, and it will continue to happen.

its the people that refuse to let someone go when their better natures are suggesting that they should move on.
again, not aimed at you, youre perticular situation is just a small scale scenario that ive seen (and most of us have seen right here on boards) of people who are not willing to let go. i dont think you are stalking him, or obsessing, but you posted up here, so it was serious enough for you to worry about it.

like i said, he may phone you back, he may not. why dont you just phone him and say, 'hey, you didnt ohone, im not going to play stupid games with you, youre dumped. anything to say...? goodbye.'

at least you stop wondering, youve broken contact, you can move on, youre not waiting around in case hes sick, or hes fallen over and is in hospital, etc etc etc.

make any sense?

yeah it makes sence

think it would be a bad idea to ring him and say that though, i'm not going to contact him any more.

but its going to be awkward seeing him again, if he had just said to me he wants to finish, that would be fine, i would have no problems talking to him in public and being friends, but this has just made things sour.

he lives local, he's 27 i'm 25, he's acting like a child.
i will see him again. if i go to the local pub i will see him, fortunately i'm working all weekend, so i wont be seeing him but next weekend there will be no avoiding him.

why couldnt he just be mature about it.

we even joked about my brother ( his friend) kicking his ass if he ever hurt my feelings....

Son_of_Belial

Maybe as well as being sick he had no credit as well? Perhaps he's also deliberately keeping you on the long finger. Doesn't want to look too desparate now does he?

Femelade

Son_of_Belial wrote:

Maybe as well as being sick he had no credit as well? Perhaps he's also deliberately keeping you on the long finger. Doesn't want to look too desparate now does he?

he has a bill phone, maybe keeping me on the long finger...but thats just game playing.

still havent heard from him yet....i havent got in contact with him either though.

chillywilly

if i was him i wouldnt be txtin back if you were txtin so much..tbh...give him space

Coney Island

ionapaul wrote:

I have to admit I know his (apparent) method of rejection well - ignore 'em till they just go away. Don't know why I do this, but it comes naturally to all men!

Women do the same, don't they?

I learn never to send two messages in a row....if she doesn't answer is her loss, I am certainly not going to beg any woman...especially cause there are so many around

Coney Island

....and of course men/women who ignore text are just not "men enough" to speak face to face + very unpolite. I much prefer to speak straight, and it is always appreciated.

ionapaul

Coney Island wrote:

....and of course men/women who ignore text are just not "men enough" to speak face to face + very unpolite. I much prefer to speak straight, and it is always appreciated.

You're right, it is the cowardly way out. But probably the easy way out when the dumper doesn't really know the dumpee or plan to see her / her again.

Ruhan

text messages are the downfall of society.

Sifo

Sorry babe, it doesnt look good... if i was in anyway interested in a girl i'd reply to her text sick or not... im sure all the men in here will agree...

Kiera

Sifo wrote:

Sorry babe, it doesnt look good... if i was in anyway interested in a girl i'd reply to her text sick or not... im sure all the men in here will agree...

I'm a girl and i agree. It works for us too. If we like a guy we behave as normal as possible so that he'll fall for us. We would reply to his txt and calls if we realy wanted him. If we didnt want him and were cowards we'd just blank him and give some lame excuse and hope he goes away.

Dont get so hung up on him hun. Get tárted up tonight and head into town

Khannie

The Corinthian wrote:

Regardless, if he does ultimately contact you, be sure to examine whatever excuse he gives you coldly and not believe it simply because you want to believe it. I know from very cynical experience that you can spin pretty much any implausible yarn to a woman if she’s more interested in you than the truth.

After a bumpy start, TC comes back with a gem.

If he said he's gonna be there in an hour, then you don't hear from him, it means that he's not overly interested (I know that I've done similar things as a youngfella, but never would have done it with my (now) wife when we were going out 3 weeks).

Kell

Femmy wrote:

we even joked about my brother ( his friend) kicking his ass if he ever hurt my feelings....

Thats a severe irritation. Believe me. What you and he do is no one elses f*cking business.

Let it go Femmy. Get a new deodorising core and all will be right.

K-

kjt

BizzyC wrote:

Men do drop a woman if she is a headwrecker......
Stop looking for "the One", there is no "One". There are thousands out there with whom you could have a long lasting meaningful relationship.

lol omg, you have got to see the Matrix, You'll be happy you did after, THE ONE!!!.

To me it actually sounds like he's sick, give him a few days and stop bashing him. True I could be wrong but you havent given too much time.

+ "Men do drop a woman if she is a headwrecker......" wtf, Why would somebody want to be with a headwrecker, its headwrecking.... thus they should drop em.

Femelade

latest update
he got in contact on fri morning, i was working so didnt reply all day, when i did it was a bit sarcastic and saying i presumed it was finished.
he txted back wit that i always presume things and without trust we have nothing or something along those lines.
it has nothing whatsoever to do with trust! just his total lack of interest!
needless to say i havent heard from him 2day.

Femelade

last update then : talking to him saturday, things were grand, met him saturday nite, had a massive row.i finished it. talking to him the next day(yesterday-sunday) and we both agreed to be just friends for a while and see how things go.

The Corinthian

TBH, it looks as if there is some difference in how you each view your relationship with each other. If your relationship was simply ‘a bit of a laugh’ as you originally suggested then his behaviour does not exactly merit your reaction, even if it was inconsiderate. If you’re actually dating or going out, as it were, then he was certainly out of order.

It might be an idea if you establish and agree that with him before you accuse him of transgressing rules that he mightn’t have known were in place.

Femelade

The Corinthian wrote:

TBH, it looks as if there is some difference in how you each view your relationship with each other. If your relationship was simply ‘a bit of a laugh’ as you originally suggested then his behaviour does not exactly merit your reaction, even if it was inconsiderate. If you’re actually dating or going out, as it were, then he was certainly out of order.

It might be an idea if you establish and agree that with him before you accuse him of transgressing rules that he mightn’t have known were in place.

i didnt say our relationship was a bit of a laugh, i said that when we were together or spoke, we always had a laugh.
there was no doubt that we were going out. we were a couple.

The Corinthian

Femmy wrote:

there was no doubt that we were going out. we were a couple.

I must have misunderstood. So long as he hasn't, I stand corrected.

BizzyC

ROFL, you were going out for 3 weeks.....
I'm sorry, but it's absolutely ridiculous to claim you were a couple, after 3 casual weeks, without any kind of actual commitment made.
You need to get over it. The fact that you've gotten so worked up about it shows how desperate you are to find a relationship. If you don't relax, you'll scare guys away.

kjt wrote:

"Men do drop a woman if she is a headwrecker......" wtf, Why would somebody want to be with a headwrecker, its headwrecking.... thus they should drop em.

thank you for quoting me, to say "wtf", and then echo the exact point I was making....

Femelade

BizzyC wrote:

ROFL, you were going out for 3 weeks.....
I'm sorry, but it's absolutely ridiculous to claim you were a couple, after 3 casual weeks, without any kind of actual commitment made.
You need to get over it. The fact that you've gotten so worked up about it shows how desperate you are to find a relationship. If you don't relax, you'll scare guys away.

glad u got such a kick out of it.
who said it was three casual weeks? i knew him before we started going out, so its not like we took 3 weeks to get to know eachother. we went out, we were a couple.
who said there was no kind of actual commitment made? besides you.

anyway, topic over.

Ber, feel free to close this thread.

BizzyC

Sorry, didn't realise you knew him well before the 3 weeks in question.
Still though, sounds like your expectations were too high for someone at the start of a relationship. Maybe he picked up on this and got scared.

I'm just saying that if you take a more fun-loving approach to men, you might find yourself a decent one.

The Corinthian

How did knowing him previously imply any greater commitment?

Femelade

BizzyC said, and i quote "it's absolutely ridiculous to claim you were a couple, after 3 casual weeks"

thats all very well for people who only know eachother for 3 weeks, you couldnt really say u were a couple then cos u wouldnt know eachother well enough yeah?

But i knew this guy before hand so we never had to go through the "getting to know u" stage, which made it easier for us to establish if we wanted to be in a relationship with eachother or not( which we did, as we had a genunie attraction to eachother), we knew what the other person was like before we started to go out.

Nevyn

But you dont,
who you are to your friends and what you expect of them
and what behaviour is permitted to and from them,
is somewhat different then that of some one you are dating/seeing.

You could know someone for 10 years but still 3 weeks into a relationship
with that person is still that a mere 3 weeks of a relationship not a friendship.
You may know thier favourite movie and restraunt but you are not going to
know how they will react or treat you as you have not be in this position in thier life.

It can happen you get invovled with a friend and then afterward realise that
he isnt a saint and maybe some of the things thier ex's said were valid after all.

Give the guy the benefit of the doubt and if you are going to take this budding
relationship so seriously sit him down and have a talk about what you
consider to be reasonible and respectfull behaviour from the both of you while
in this relationship.

Femelade

well were finished now anyway.
so, thats it really i guess.
thank you to everyone who posted on this thread and for all the advice - it is very much apprieciated.

-Femmy

Femelade

ok , now i'm really confused...since we decided to "be friends" he's been txting me every day, not saying anything in particular just chatting, but he's txting more now than he did when we were together.
i always thought "lets just be friends" meant "please dont contact me again...your a freak"