Blonde Broken Bones!

Bubba

A blonde walks into a doctor's office and tells the doctor she's broken every
single bone in her body. "That's impossible!" says the doctor.

The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with
her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells
"Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her
composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, "See, I told
you I broke every bone in my body."

The doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, miss,"
he tells her, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is,
you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you've broken
your finger."

derek27

here's a nice clean joke, but depending on how you tell it, most people find it quite funny...

this unemployed actor is desperate for work. he's willing to do anything. so he goes jobhunting one day and after several refusals he finally arrives at the zoo. he goes inside and asks the zookeeper for employment. the zookeeper asks about his qualifications and the man tells him all he has ever done is acted. the zookeeper appears very intrigued and invites the man into his office. he says 'i might have just the job for you'!

inside the office, the zookeeper explains to the man how funding for the zoo is not enough, and as such they cant afford to have a gorrilla at the zoo. 'the fact that your an actor is what intrigues me he says' as he pulls out a gorrilla costume from a press. 'do you think you'd be able to act convincingly as a gorrilla?' he asks the man. 'i wont let you down', replied the actor. you need to be sure not to let me down, at any cost!!!

first day at work and the actor is made put on the suit and get into the cage. spectators start to arrive and the actor is there moping around the cage, banging his chest, snorting, and other gorrilla like behaviour. the crowd seem impressed. everyone is happy. at the end of the day, the zookeeper is happy with the actors work and pays him saying 'the better you get, the more i will pay you'.

day two and the actor is keen to get his pay increased. so when spectators arrive he's doing all the same things as the day before only this time he is swinging around on the branches in the cage. everyone is impressed, especially the zookeeper, who increases the mans pay for his efforts.

day three and the actor is really getting into it. spectators arrive, and he starts stomping around the cage, banging his chest, grunting, and very enthusiastically swinging aroud the branches. there's a lot of spectators at his cage now, so he tries to really impress them... he climbs up through the branches to the topmost one and begins swinging around and around on it. he decides to do a dismount and lets go of the branch. unfortunately for him, he swings so hard that he goes flying out over the top of his cage and lands in the lions cage beside him...

ROAR!!! ROAR!!! the lion doesn't look too impressed. he hops down off his perch and begins to circle around the actor in a menacing fashion. the actor looks at the lion and the fear begins to build up inside him. then he looks at the crowd and remembers how he promissed he wouldn't let the zookeeper down. he decides to wait and see what happens. then suddenly, the lion begins to raor at him and charges at him. life or death. the actor decides to give up his cover to try and save his life. he begins screaming at the crowd "help me, help me! i'm not really a gorrilla i'm only a man in a suit" while trying to get away from the lion. the lion gets really close to him. the actor then hears a voice saying "will you close you fvcking mouth or we'll all lose our bloody jobs!"

netwhizkid

lol, to both jokes quite good if i must say so myself !

TerrorFirmer

So stupid, but I had to chuckle...

de5p0i1er

MobileInfantry wrote:

So stupid, but I had to chuckle...

Me too. I did see it coming though