Boredom

Misticles

i have a problem, i feel myself and my partner have a boring relationship in relation to going out to places and stuff. we never go out to the cinema or to dinner. wer always in his house. its really getting to me cos i like goin out doin stuff. any opinions??

aidan_walsh

Perhaps talk to him/her about it?

Misticles

i have!! all i get is 1 ive no money, 2 im not in the mood, 3 or im busy!

Misticles

help, i hate staying in while hes on his computer because hes a big computer geek, i sumtimes think he loves the computers more than me, ive said that to him before but he says im bein silly

0utshined

Misticles,

How old are ye? How long have ye being going out? Do ye have jobs? Maybe money is an issue for him.

Misticles

im 19 and hes 20. wev been goin out 18 mnths. i have a job. he fixes computers and plays bagpipes for a living. so he has a good bit of money, and a few hundred in the bank. so money isnt the problem. i really hate staying in doing nothing. even if it was just to the cinema once a week or for dinner once in a while. but we do absoloutley NOTHING!

Victor

Misticles wrote:

wer always in his house.

Invite him to dinner and a social evening in your place, where you don't have a computer.

Misticles

easier said than done. he never wants to come to my house cos my mam is a bit wacko when she get the old alcohol in her, ya know. plus i cant cook. id like him to treat me once in a while ya know. show me that im appeciated. but he dosnt. he rants on about equality. i like to be treated once in a while, is that too much to ask??

aidan_walsh

Misticles wrote:

easier said than done. he never wants to come to my house cos my mam is a bit wacko when she get the old alcohol in her, ya know. plus i cant cook. id like him to treat me once in a while ya know. show me that im appeciated. but he dosnt. he rants on about equality. i like to be treated once in a while, is that too much to ask??

Oh, Little Miss. How approporiate, it would appear.

Misticles wrote:

id like him to treat me once in a while ya know. show me that im appeciated.

You been doing the same, by any chance?

Why don't you offer to take him out, if he says he has no money. Then the next week suggest doing something similar, only he pays. Or split the bill.

Misticles

i do, i offered last week to go the cinema tonight, it was all go untill earlier today when i got... im not in the mood and i was really looking forward to it. he has money! he just prefers to be on a computer than out with me. well thats how i feel anyways

Misticles

any opinions or advice for me?

TCP/IP

dump him no decent man would rather look at a computer when his missus is around

pickarooney

You should normally get a good 5-6 years out of a relationship before he starts acting like this. Do you see any future with him?

Misticles

yes, i can see myself marrying him

TCP/IP

so you want to marry somebody that plays with computers all day and gives u little attention are you mental there will be plenty of men out there triping over themselves to pay u the atttention you deserve

jcoote

has he ever gone out wit u or is it just recently...he could have a phobia or something...i think u should be a bitch and fight wit him over it cos stayin in like that is not healthy for him or the relationship

LegacyUser

Ohh, when did we go out last.... oh god i dunno, Friday Maybe?

Misticles

its always been like this. i think wev been to the cinema about 4 or 5 times since wev been together. which is 18mnths.trust me ive fought. and i get told im making a big deal out of nothing. we were supposed to go to the cinema tonight. i said it to him last week and earlier today, he decides hes not i the mood. we wnt out friday for a few hours cos it was his friends 21st, surely that cant count wen im takin about just both of us going out

Nickibaby*

Is your fellas name david by any chance?

Misticles

who am i kiddin, yes his name is david, why?

cordelia

You're going to have pull out the big armor and prepare to do battle.

Come over to his house with the clothes you are going to wear. Make sure this involves either heels or boots and two nice dresses. Pull out the matching lace panties, bra, sheer stockings with garter. If you don't have them - buy them. While he is sitting there, staring at his computer, you start getting dressed. Right next to the computer. Use the desk of his console to pull up the stockings and clip them on the garter. Ask him to help you do up the clasp on the bra. Bring a small mirror and do your makeup and hair right where he can see you out of the corner of his eye, whilst wearing only your underthings.
If he's really clueless by now, I personally would probably dump him. However, you seem to love the fella, so bring one of the two dresses you brought, sit down on his lap in your undies and ask him which dress he would like you to wear.
Speechless or sputtering is good. Staring redfaced and openmouthed is also good. Leering at your cleavage with wandering hands is optimum. A normal fella with any sort of libido will cop on by now and insist that you try on both, just to see, and walk around infront of him. He'd also offer to assist with the necessary zipping and unzipping, just to be helpful you see.
Odds are you're going to be late for the cinema, so make sure there's a late show. :cool:
If he does nothing but continues to geek away on the computer you have just received any and all necessary answers. Pick up your stuff and leave. The fella is existing without a heart beat and has obviously sold his soul to Microsoft. Move on and find another guy who can appreciate a good tease when it's offered by the objects of his affections

Misticles

sorry but thats not my style

jcoote

i wanna go out with coredelia ...i think throwin sex in his face would work but it may just land u in a spiral because u would be goin out of your way to make him happy

Misticles

precisely!! sumtimes he prefers computers over sex. although sex isnt a major problem

jcoote

woah!! thats not good i'm mad into computers but i don't think i'd ever turn down a shag for anything...well maybe steak mmm steak ... no really thats not good in any relationship...is he a chatty guy??

Misticles

ye, hes chatty enough i suppose. i just dont think he gets how much it annoys me

Sherifu

Misticles wrote:

precisely!! sumtimes he prefers computers over sex. although sex isnt a major problem

'Daddy or Chips'

If hes turning down sex he must be mad!

Is there something worrying him?

jcoote

he obviously either doesn't know or doesn't care how much it annoys u...have yis talked about it???

Misticles

ive tried lots but he dismisses it all the time and says im bein silly

jcoote

well then he's bein an ass hole was it like this from day one...i'd put up an ultimatum cos u can't go on like that...maybe even suggest a break just to give him a kick up the arse

Misticles

even if i took ur advice i know that it would make no difference to him

jcoote

its not about him its about u he's not puttin any effort in..u deserve better than that don't u??

Misticles

thats the way he is! hes watchin all these posts. i sd to him before that im in this relationship alot more than he is. tbh i dont think he takes me seriously

jcoote

kinda copped that he was watchin...why don't u just say it to him if u know he knows...personally i wouldn't stand for it...even from a friendship pov its just common decency to acknowledge your needs

StandnDeliver

if it was me id say ya know what david im tired real tired of this and idpress thestandby button on his pc.swivel him round in his chair and say its like this mister its either the computer or me coz im damn well sick of this **** oh and if you truely do love me you will detach yourself from the mouse and get some excersize or blood flowing through those vains of yours.
now he probably will be mad for pressing his sacred pc but thats what u will have to do.coz no human contact is bad

jcoote

good advice standndeliver

Misticles

ive tried stuff along the same lines. never worked

jcoote

well are u willing to just accept this about him and continue the way u are??

Misticles

i dunno. he just dosnt get it, its his nature not to take anythin seriously i think

jcoote

but u obviously do take your relationship seriously so u need to do something...sometimes u have to hurt yourself to help yourself

Misticles

yes, i do take it seriously, he dosnt!not one bit

Winters

Ok .. leave him tbh.

Its one thing being on a computer a lot [trust me I know this] but not wanting to do things with you just shows he has no interest in you and doesnt really care about you.

jcoote

so its up to u to confront him and tell him how u feel... sorry if this is offensive but ur relationship sounds dead and u need to spice it up or move on

bounty_hunter

Misticles wrote:

any opinions or advice for me?

Dump him.

Misticles

ah i dunno tbh. its all too much for me. and its sumhn soooo simple, yet a whole different concep for him

Winters

Tell him stright and give him the option. He can sit there on his computer and let you walk away on him, he probably might not even notice. Or he can actually go out and do something with you, talk to you more and in some way actually interact with the outside world.

Misticles

you try telling him that!

Winters

Ok.

Misticles

hes being all affectionate now cos hes seen the posts but i cann surely say that it wont last long

Nevyn

GET OUT
GET OUT NOW
and dont look back

He will not change, you will love him and mind him and pamper him,
he will take it all and as long as he has his creature comforts do the minium
to make you happen when you cant stand it any more and raise hell.

If he is like this with you and he is ment to be in a relationship with you
he will be worse when you move into gether.
If he is like this with you now he wont pay any kids you have enough notice either.

Get out, make a life for yourslef, do the things that make you happy.
Get new friends that will do and go places with you and eventually you will
replace him with some one who values you and the time spent with you .

Misticles

that all sounds great....