Meeting nice girls, where??

The Corinthian

deedee lepoopoo wrote:

Biology wasn't obviously your strongest subject in (hedge) school. Women can have kids up to 45 and with men, the sky's the limit (just ask Des O'Connor).

Of course they can, so long as they don't mind playing Mongolian roulette after 40.

deedee lepoopoo

The Corinthian wrote:

Of course they can, so long as they don't mind playing Mongolian roulette after 40.

You living proof, eh? Anyway, depends what the individual wants out of life - kids or not, etc etc. It's all down to personal preference. But this thread seems to be just getting on step one of the process.

I have to agree though, a Fairy Godmother isn't going to appear in your bedroom and wave her wand and hey presto, the girl of your dreams appears. You gotta get amoungest them.

The Corinthian

deedee lepoopoo wrote:

You living proof, eh?

Miao... Saucer of milk for table 5...

Anyway, depends what the individual wants out of life - kids or not, etc etc.

I’m glad you accepted my original point.

Nevyn

deedee lepoopoo
Personal insults are not allowed, stay on topic.

The Corinthian
That goes for you too.

Please read the charter.
Have a nice day,
Thaed

valentino

Ok couple of responses

1. You make your own luck

- This idea that it lies in the hands of the gods is bull
If you want it you gotta make it happen.

2. You need to be the selector

- V. good point made earlier about how women can spot desparation
If you reverse the role slightly and view girls that you talk to as
a guest in your reality you find its an awful lot easier

3. Eye contact
- So important, most blokes spot a girl looking at him and will look away
Years of evolution in this one, if you catch a girls eye DONT LOOK AWAY

As you say, time is running out, your right, it IS a numbers game but 2 a year
aint gonna cut it, you need to be getting about 3 phone numbers a week..

There's so much to learn, so little time, if you want to know more
PM me,

shakenbake

^ three a week?!?! Short of asking for random girls phone numbers walking down the street that aint gonna happen mate

Some interesting replies to this thread, thanks for the input. Especially the 'frank' responses.

The Corinthian

shakenbake wrote:

^ three a week?!?! Short of asking for random girls phone numbers walking down the street that aint gonna happen mate

It’s never going to happen though, if you’re not going to bother trying, which ultimately is what it all comes down to. Three introductions a week, if that is what you want to achieve, is neither difficult nor random - surely you will see at least one woman a day who you take a fancy to, the difference being that rather than leaving it at a look, you go up and say hi to her. Nothing more complicated than that TBH.

Blackpitts

The Corinthian wrote:

It’s never going to happen though, if you’re not going to bother trying, which ultimately is what it all comes down to. Three introductions a week, if that is what you want to achieve, is neither difficult nor random - surely you will see at least one woman a day who you take a fancy to, the difference being that rather than leaving it at a look, you go up and say hi to her. Nothing more complicated than that TBH.

I think that the issue is not HOW to meet the girls but WHERE.
I mean, there are some places where girls go because they know there are boys looking for them and viceversa. WHERE ARE THOSE PLACESIN DUBLIN?
maybe the salsa thing is supposed to be a good place for that, maybe there are further ones...give me the "direction", I'll go there and "HOW" to meet a girl won't be a problem for many of us...poor single boys

Blackpitts

ven0m

I met my current girlfriend in Buskers of all places - wasn't even entertaining seeing someone at that stage, was just out to have loads of fun, & manwhore myself silly...... & there are days I wonder how the heck I got someone so flippin nice ??!?!!!??!?!?!?! well wierd......


::: ven0mous :::

GreenHell

Aww maintaining eye contact is a bitch, ya notice someone looking at ya and first reaction is look away, then when you think "crap she was looking at me why did I look away" you look back and she is not looking and a vicious cycle of looking the floor and looking back ensues! After many nights of sore necks I decided talking to the opposite sex was a brilliant idea.

valentino

GreenHell wrote:

Aww maintaining eye contact is a bitch, ya notice someone looking at ya and first reaction is look away, then when you think "crap she was looking at me why did I look away" you look back and she is not looking and a vicious cycle of looking the floor and looking back ensues! After many nights of sore necks I decided talking to the opposite sex was a brilliant idea.

The key there Greenhell is that once you get a lock on the eye contact and she looks away FIRST then you have about 20 seconds to get your ass over and talk to her before your conscious starts niggling away at you and rationalising 100 reasons why you shouldnt ...

If she holds your gaze and does NOT look away.. well then its game on.. keep the eyes locked as you approach her and a simple hi will suffice...

sounds odd, works

Victor

ando wrote:

whats the average age of the women that would go to that salsa?

Desparate and ticking.

No, you will get a mix mostly in the 20-40 age group.

pigeonbutler

Sweden!

fly_agaric

valentino wrote:

If she holds your gaze and does NOT look away.. well then its game on.. keep the eyes locked as you approach her and a simple hi will suffice...

But if you see her put her hand in her purse/bag... close your eyes!:)

Dagon

The ultimate key to success with the opposite sex, to never being short of a female, and finding the girl of your dreams is:

NOT to want one!

Total success and lots of beautiful women guaranteed!

This year I was very happy and contented with my life, totally fulfilled, and wasn't too interested in finding women because I had had my fill of them (was with a girl who didn't really float my boat and had finished), I wanted a break just to do stuff on my own.. but then they appeared everywhere. There were even a few ladies at a time, and I had to make choices... so many opportunities. And the more I didn't want to meet a woman, the more I met them (and of course when I did meet them, I then made moves, rather than the other way around).

They can smell it, that's my reckoning. If you deep down, subconsciously want to get a girl and give the outward appearance of not giving a ****.. they will still smell it and won't be quite as likely to be interested. Others have confirmed it too. I don't know how this works, but through experience I can say it's a FACT, try it out, and you will be amazed.

And when you have a girlfriend you're happy with, other girls will somehow *smell* this too, and will want you.

My advice to the OP (I didn't have the time to read all the responses), take up meditation or something... and fill your life up with happy things.

The lovely ladies will *smell* it....

Beau

Dagon wrote:

The ultimate key to success with the opposite sex, to never being short of a female, and finding the girl of your dreams is:

NOT to want one!

Its true but it can be very hard to do. I was at the Pixies today and I was checking out every girl and asking myself "would I?" When your in those moods its hard to think of something else.

LegacyUser

I don't act like I'm scouting and never meet women. I was turned off them at an early age. So it's untrue to say that they're attracted to the man that doesn't seem to want them.

The Corinthian

Blackpitts wrote:

I think that the issue is not HOW to meet the girls but WHERE.

By WHERE you really mean “where to meet women without putting any real effort into doing so?”

Or “is there any place where a socially inept guy can meet desperate chicks?”

Or “can anyone recommend a target rich environment where I can score, preferably while drunk?”

Otherwise WHERE is everywhere.

Blackpitts

The Corinthian wrote:

By WHERE you really mean “where to meet women without putting any real effort into doing so?”

Or “is there any place where a socially inept guy can meet desperate chicks?”

Or “can anyone recommend a target rich environment where I can score, preferably while drunk?”

Otherwise WHERE is everywhere.

WHERE is supposed to be a place where girls go because they know that there are boys looking for them and where boys go because they know that there are girls that don't give them a F*** .
i.e. I know that there is a pub here in Dublin where everyone gets a number and people write a message to someone else addressed to those numbers...this is a WHERE

The Corinthian

Blackpitts wrote:

WHERE is supposed to be a place where girls go because they know that there are boys looking for them and where boys go because they know that there are girls that don't give them a F*** .
i.e. I know that there is a pub here in Dublin where everyone gets a number and people write a message to someone else addressed to those numbers...this is a WHERE

And how does this invalidate what I just said?

Blackpitts

The Corinthian wrote:

And how does this invalidate what I just said?

I haven't ment to invalidate your post, I just wanted to be more explicit. But what I really want is a name of some places

RopeDrink

I seem to have this 'feeling' myself.

I have a very active social life, quite a nice selection of friends and am no stranger to throwing myself around, beit for simple banter, a laugh etc
I have absolutely no problem with meeting people but (the next portion has been discussed in AfterHours after I posted my new photo in the Know Your Nerds) when it comes to the ladies, it's a completely different and alien world to me.

For one, I can't accept compliments thanks to my past playing a massive part in the degradation of my confidence, so that obliterates my 'radar' (If thats what you call it). I have to be 'informed' by someone else if someone is actually flirting with me, because I don't see it. Someone giving me 'the eye' would, in my view, just look like someone happened to glance over to look at something else and I was probably standing in the way. Unless I'm physically grabbed and 'shown' that someone likes me, then I never know... But I understand what causes this and it's something I need to work on, but knowing this hasn't diminished my own lonliness or wish to have a partner.

Rest assured, wether I had any remote self respect or confidence in me at all, I still wouldn't actively search for a relationship, for we all know how that goes. There is no 'timer' as such for these things, but there'll be a time in every persons life where the desire to 'settle down' will crop up, and if we happen to be single at the time, will feel lonely or desperate on top of it.

There are no real ways of conquering this other than making a point of going out more and being sociable. Drag your friends out, try new things, but above all, don't go roaming around searching for 'the one'. You'll eat yourself up doing that. Be yourself, and someone will see you for who you are rather than what you're looking for.

You have more time than you give yourself, so quit giving yourself a timeline and simply enjoy yourself and let the wonders of nature run their course.

ALKA

ok i totally agree with dagon..

you be better off focusing on other things rather than the girlies...its always when your on the hunt you can never find one..but if your having fun with your mates not thinking bout them they suddenly appear hunting you!!

as a female i know how we work and we can sniff desperate from a mile away

here are a few tips to get a nice chick
1. dont look for one (sign of being desperate)
2. relax and enjoy the company around you
3. avoid the typical meat markets and sleezy bars
4. go to nice bars maybe gigs and make sure you enjoy urself (theres nothing more attractive than aguy having fun with his mates paying no attension to the girlies)
5. take care of your appearence but not to much(girlies like men to be men!)
6. if you see a nice chick give her a glance and tats it, if she keeps looking back give her a cheeky smile, but do not approach till she is obviously talking you to her mates. when her friends go to the bar
7. theres plenty more tips i can give you but they go way past 100 as were a complicated species

Beruthiel

RopeDrink wrote:

For one, I can't accept compliments thanks to my past playing a massive part in the degradation of my confidence

Ropie honey
you've got to get up every morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself how fab you are and if you were gay, you'd fancy yourself!

annR

Surely there's a happy medium between looking for a woman and appearing desperate? A guy can be interested but also confident and in charge of himself. . .that's sexy. I don't buy all this stuff about 'not looking', it doesn't work for everyone. That way, you will only meet girls who approach you. I think those girls are in the minority. What about all the girls who want to be approached?

Also, I only know one place where you can have a chance at 3 introductions a week (unless you are *constantly* meeting girls in your job / hobby), and that's Internet dating. Also not for everyone.

RopeDrink

Ropie honey
you've got to get up every morning, look in the mirror and tell yourself how fab you are and if you were gay, you'd fancy yourself!

Beruthiel while I always love and appreciate the effort and concern you give me, that comment almost made me retch

See this is the thing - Personality wise (In Real Life™) I think Im ok, it's just that I never let myself believe that it's possible for someone to actually fancy me. Any experience I've had has been along the line of someone shunning me for my 'baggage', shunning my appearance, shunning me for being honest about the topic I am hereby typing about now (Which had previously led people to assume that I was using a 'sympathy trick' to get my way?) and things like that.

It's often the reason I'll get embarrased or find a corner to sit in if someone finally DOES actually look at me in a different light than any of the above, and I guess it's because I believe that, in the end, Im sure they'll find something to hate about me and treat me like all my other partners have, or feel that they could quite easily find someone else who isn't 'like me'.

Like I said, having just typed out the problem above, I know that it's something I have to work on, and that obviously not everyone is the same, but it's hard to change the way I feel and act about the situation when it's all I know, and grew up thinking like, for my whole life.

I'm sure I'll mend eventually, and being only 23 means I have time, but it's a lonely road and confidence isn't fast dissapearing when someone shuns me for trying to heal myself of this problem (Baggage / no confidence thing again).

Gah, hard to explain, but nevermind me. Like I said, I'll be alright.
I am strong... I think... Or hope...

Despite making me nearly retch, thanks for the reply

I'll ensure you get that fez, no matter what it takes x x

ALKA

annR wrote:

Surely there's a happy medium between looking for a woman and appearing desperate? A guy can be interested but also confident and in charge of himself. . .that's sexy. I don't buy all this stuff about 'not looking', it doesn't work for everyone.

well each to their own...and i defo agree with what your saying i wud like a guy to approach me but if hes to full on id think he was desperate and that wud put me right off...and being subtle about looking at a girl or making a move is fine..but sumtimes if a guy acts to interested some girls cant help think der after one thing :rolleyes:

WizZard

@OP:
Improve other areas of your life and girls will come.

Take up a new hobby (preferably outdoors type). Try to become happy with yourself. Concentrate on you for a while. When you are happy with yourself and with your life it will show in little ways. Girls (in fact everyone) can see this and will be attracted to you. After that it's up to you to talk to them.

Approach all girls as friends you haven't met yet (I know it's a cliché) and don't lose heart. They're people too. Just like guys, some are nice and some aren't.

To improve your social skills go out with some friends to quieter bars/clubs. Talk to as many people as possible. This will increase your self-confidence.
Salsa/dancing is a great way to meet people. There are a couple of good clubs in Dublin, some of which are already mentioned on this thread. Just attempt to strike up conversations with people, not necessarily of the female persuasion.

If you are comfortable with people and yourself you shouldn't find it hard to strike up a conversation with a girl you might fancy, anywhere.

There is no one place to meet that special someone, it can happen anywhere. Carpe diem and stuff like that. You make the best of the situation you're in.

<edit>A bit long-winded but I hope it might help</edit>

Beruthiel

RopeDrink wrote:

Like I said, having just typed out the problem above, I know that it's something I have to work on, and that obviously not everyone is the same, but it's hard to change the way I feel and act about the situation when it's all I know, and grew up thinking like, for my whole life.

anything is possible if you want it badly enough.
look around galway, see if there are any assertiveness classes coming up for the autumn, give one a go, you've nothing to loose and everything to gain. If you find a good one, you'd be surprised what you can learn.
this advice would also be for the OP!

Blackpitts

annR wrote:

Also, I only know one place where you can have a chance at 3 introductions a week (unless you are *constantly* meeting girls in your job / hobby), and that's Internet dating. Also not for everyone.

can you tell me a website or a different tool (ICQ, yahoo or MSN messenger) very popular in Dublin for dating?

tnx

annR

I think www.maybefriends.com is quite popular.

joejoem

I think festivals are agreat place to meet women, its like a huge outdoor pub and you can get away from the speakers at parts, everyone is in a good mood (depending on weather) and there are so many people around everyone is aroused/open to flirting.


OOn a side note, go to england, the women are amazing!

Dagon

I don't know about assertiveness courses (my sis did one). There are better ways of finding your self and leaving the fear behind. This can't be done through compulsion...

"I don't buy all this stuff about 'not looking', it doesn't work for everyone. That way, you will only meet girls who approach you. I think those girls are in the minority. What about all the girls who want to be approached?"

That isn't what I meant though, maybe I didn't make it clear.

What I meant was, you can approach girls, eye them up, flirt with them, even chase them... but all the time with a totally relaxed and non-attached attitude. They will realise that you don't really care *what* they think of you, because you are not *investing* yourself, or desparately hoping to score. They can read that. So they will see that you really don't need them, you don't need to prove anything... and that is attractive.

So no, it's not about being inactive at all - on the contrary, you go about the whole business as before but just with total non-attachment, with no self-investment or *weight*(?), just trying things out. And keeping a positive attitude even when she doesn't seem interested, be strong.

But don't do it through compulsion, don't force yourself to be this way. You have to honestly *be* as you appear, because if you are pretending, then this is also visible. We are sending out vibrations all the time, become aware of that. So thus, if you are not this way, find out how you can become more contented in your life, find out how you can get away from this state of constant craving female companionship.. it will come! I have faith in you

...hard to describe, but does that make more sense?

Blackpitts

annR wrote:

I think www.maybefriends.com is quite popular.

...and what about www.myspace.com? is that good too?

any other suggestion?

Sammyjo

ive just joined the thread now (5 pages of posts later!) every boyfriend ive had, ive met in a bar, pub, and while a couple of them were not worth the time of day (as we see from my post of today!) ive had three long term relationships with great guys that ive met out on nights out. i know a lot of people say you will never meet a boyfriend/ girlfriend worth their salt on a night out, but it does work for some people. i know you did say you think the odds are stacked against you, but a smile and really having a chat with a girl will work wonders, rather than attempting to use a line or being fake!!

just my 2c anyway.....

jcoote

talk to them like they are your workmate or something...its not worth while talking to someone u don't feel comfortable wit...i've met my 3 long-termers thru friends for 2 of em and in work !!!

ando

work is a fair bit riskay imo

The Corinthian

annR wrote:

That way, you will only meet girls who approach you. I think those girls are in the minority. What about all the girls who want to be approached?

They can have a good bitch about how modern Society has imposed equality upon them, even in the mating game.

Also, I only know one place where you can have a chance at 3 introductions a week (unless you are *constantly* meeting girls in your job / hobby), and that's Internet dating. Also not for everyone.

TBH, if that’s the case, you either live in Saudi Arabia and are segregated from the opposite sex or are simply not making an effort.

OMcGovern

Hi,

I tried the internet dating thing on www.anotherfriend.com
After 3 months subscription at €15 a month, I decided to give the accounts department a healthy 7 days notice to cancel my subscription before the next direct debit collection. The web site and contract said I only needed to give 2 days notice.

Anyways, they claimed that they didn't receive my e-mail, and deducted another months subscription from me. They refused to refund me.
I'm a computer professional.... I know how to send e-mails and how to recognise when they fail. So they robbed me..... plain and simple.
www.anotherfriend.com also run www.datinginireland.com and another site for the irish examiner.

Their website has no phone numbers and no addresses. Everything is done via e-mail. I'm some that cuts down on awkward confrontations for their office staff.

There were some lovely colourful characters on the site, but if someone refuses to send you a photo of themselves after a while, or before meeting up, then it's not a good sign. I got "stung" on a blind date... never again I tells ya.... never again.

I've always had at least one close female friend to lean on, and it's very healthy. Hang around enough female friends and you'll be able to talk to any girl with ease. Throwing the odd complement to them, preferably very sincere ones, will completely endear you to them. If new girls join the company, their character reference will be worth its weight in gold. So I recommend an intermediate step of having a few good chats with any girls at work.

cheers,
Owen

(The key to a good relationship is honesty.... if you can fake that, you're laughing ! )