Would you let your daughter go to a Debs?

God bless those chastity belts. Marvellous inventions altogether.

Beekay

up for anything wrote:

You didn't say it and I didn't say you said it. Your posts were implying it however.

You asked a question "but would you let your 15 year old daughter(3 months off 16) go to a debs.." which I answered from the point of view of being a parent of a nearly 11 year old girl with all this in her future. I know you've probably heard "someday when you have a daughter of your own... yada yada yada" or in your case "son" a lot from your parents (I did from mine and I didn't realise what they were getting at then) you probably switch off but then that's the nature of youth.

You said at first you would let her go.but then you changed it.Do you still stand by this?

The reason i included the nearly 16 bit was because i've known 16 year olds to go to debs after they didthere leaving cert.And if i didn't do 4th year i would have been one of them

Beekay

county wrote:

quite simply no

Why?Im looking for opinions here.whether i like them or not

up for anything

Beekay please remember none of this is personal - I don't know you and I'm not trying to get at you.

You were doing ok from my point of view as a parent at the begining. Nice guy, seems sensible, doesn't drink (2,000,000 bonus points), willing to take half a night with my daughter rather then a full night without her but then you tore the arse out of it with your comment "just because it's a law doesn't mean it's right". As a parent all my alarm bells began ringing because now I have to wonder about where do you draw the line with this attitude towards the law and will you "infect" my daughter with it. That's why I readjusted my attitude and decided against letting her go hypothetically speaking.

Beekay

up for anything wrote:

Beekay please remember none of this is personal - I don't know you and I'm not trying to get at you.

You were doing ok from my point of view as a parent at the begining. Nice guy, seems sensible, doesn't drink (2,000,000 bonus points), willing to take half a night with my daughter rather then a full night without her but then you tore the arse out of it with your comment "just because it's a law doesn't mean it's right". As a parent all my alarm bells began ringing because now I have to wonder about where do you draw the line with this attitude towards the law and will you "infect" my daughter with it. That's why I readjusted my attitude and decided against letting her go hypothetically speaking.

i know its not personal.i was just trying to take the whole law concept out of the thread.Sometimes the law is wrong,thats is all i was saying.I know they get laws right most of the time.and when i look back on it,it does look bad(but if i edited my post it would seem worse).i was just trying to show a point of view.

But thanks for taking the time and giving me your opinion

up for anything

If you do decide to sit down with her parents and ask them can she go - stick to the party line. Good luck and let us know what happens.

Beekay

up for anything wrote:

If you do decide to sit down with her parents and ask them can she go - stick to the party line. Good luck and let us know what happens.

Will do .

Does anyone else have an opinion?if you do please share it.the more points of view i have the better.

Khannie

I went to a debs at 15 or early 16, with an 18 year old girl who I was friends with. She just wanted a date. I have to say, I felt totally out of place all night, though I think a young woman would like the sense of occasion more than a young man did. There's also the maturity gap to consider there....In general 15 year old girls are much more mature than 15 year old fella's.

Once the folks are ok with it, I'd say you'll have a good night.

edit: One of the reasons I felt out of place was that I looked very young for my age up until my mid 20's. Good ol' retreating hairline to the rescue! I also ended up talking to a lad who had left my school the year before (and I was in 3rd year at the time I think).

How does your girlfriend feel about the idea?

Beekay

She really wants to go,but she doesn't know what her parents will say.

Beekay

Well she asked.And the answer was No.They are saying she is too young.
Hopefully they can be persuaded otherwise...

Hobbes

pwd wrote:

only if the date paid for a hotel room for her or something.
Wouldn't want her coming home late and waking the whole house.

I see his response now.. "So you can pay by the hour, right?"

Beekay

Well i said i would keep you posted.
My Debs is tonight,and she isn't allowed go.So im in a very bad mood and don't really want to go

Sorry to hear.

Gaspode

I have a daughter and if she was in a relationship with a guy who wished to bring her to his debs I would let her go at almost 16 if...

1. I knew the guy and felt I could somewhat trust him.

2. He was willing to follow my rules on times etc.

But in this case you certinaly are coming accross as genuine and honest. You have put your side well to us, now all you need to do is approach her parents in the same way. If they set a curfew for her, make sure to stick to it as otherwise it will probaly mean a lot of hassle for her seeing you in future. And if you behave well on this occasion you will have gained valuable "brownie" points with her parents for the future. So by being good to her and them you are being good to yourself too !!

BTW I am well past 18 now but know plently of adults who are capable of having a good time without the aid of drink and who have always been able to do so.. My wife is the biggest messer on earth who rarely touches alcohol at all (nor did she at age 18 either...)

Gaspode

Beekay wrote:

Well i said i would keep you posted.
My Debs is tonight,and she isn't allowed go.So im in a very bad mood and don't really want to go

Sorry to hear this.... but my advise to you is to remain in close contact with your girlfriends family - build up a good relationship with them and they will trust you in the future. There are bound to be more partys and events coming up.

Beekay

deswalsh wrote:

Sorry to hear this.... but my advise to you is to remain in close contact with your girlfriends family - build up a good relationship with them and they will trust you in the future. There are bound to be more partys and events coming up.

Thanks for the advice anyway.
Her father is actually good friends with my brother and he has known of me since about 2001.
And i just discovered that b4 i started going out with her that he said i was a "nice guy".
The actual Debs wasn't that bad but i just had to not look at couples so i wouldn't feel as bad

Khannie

Beekay wrote:

My Debs is tonight,and she isn't allowed go.

Man....that's suckage. I'd let my daughter go with you. If I had one that is.

Nevyn

Well why not try make it up to the both of you in a differnt way ?
Why not orgainse to take her out to dinner ?
Just the two of you, doesnt have to be late in the evening and there are lots
of places that have early specails and make to do about , get dresses up
and make the most of it.

or if you really wanted to impress go out to dinner with her and her parents,
show them that you are a toughtfull young man who can be have in a civilised fashion.

ambro25

"For a man to have a daughter is God's revenge on him for being the lad he once was..." or words to that effect, and can't remember who by.

I have a daughter. The answer 'was' (coming late to the party and after the Deb went by) no. When she turns 15 and 364 days, the answer will still be no. Even when she turns 16, I'm still not so sure the answer won't be no.

But it will be "yes" to any occasion to get to know the lad in question (as, personally speaking, it takes a helluva long time and more hoops than in a SEAL Team assault course to earn my trust, and so long as you ain't got it, I 'd catch you with her and you'd be dead )

So, pretty much as Thaed posted, a missed opportunity but there will be plenty more if you care for her as you seem to, and in the meantime keep working the parents over.

Beekay

Thanks for the ideas Thaed,there is actually something that im hoping to bring her to.