violent gf

LegacyUser

My "girlfriend" - well, we were ex's still casually seeing each other recently - assaulted me the other night. She slapped me and I slapped her back to snap her out of her hysterics and she proceeded to punch at me as i tried to calm her down verbally, not touching her, hands out in defence. When she realised she couldn't reach me, she ran to the kitchen drawer and i was relieved when i saw just a wooden spatula. I had grabbed a blanket to stifle any knife she may have grabbed, but dropped it when i saw it was a piece of wood. But as she came for me i saw a scissors in her other hand and she lunged and i mangaged to slap it away, shouting "DROP IT!", which froze her a little . I immediately went to leave the premmises but she had to unlock the door - she came out and did it, still holding the spatuala and i waited to get a final kick or punch as i left but it didn't come. I didn't want to man-handle her as i knew it would make things worse as she was totally hyped up and physical and would have probaly hurt herself in my grasp (or i would have reacted to her struggles and hurt her somehow)

I walked home in a state of shock at what had happened.

I was advised to go to the Garda the next day to pre-emptively make it known what happened in case she decided to play victim because i did slap her (after her initial hitting). I didn't bother though. I'm utterly disgusted at the whole thing especialy as i found myself slapping her but was relieved i didn't do anything else after her assault and threath with a scissors. I'm 31 and so's she. Incredible and extremely sad. She has a history of abuse within her family and from at least one former boyfriend. I was always proud to be a gentleman toward her and the guy who didn't abuse her. I feel like sh*t now.


I saw the other thread about the violent bf and i totally sympathise. That poster should go the the Garda and stay with relatives till while they investigate.

Beruthiel

shakenup wrote:

My "girlfriend" - well, we were ex's still casually seeing each other recently

if she has done all of the above to you, why are you still seeing her?!
stats show that with each violent episode, it will always get worse, stop seeing her as of today.

tinkerbell

I think you should've gone to the gardai and tell them. Jees, she threatened you with a scissors! A lot of damage can be done with a scissors.

And also, steer clear of her. She's a psycho if she's coming after you with a scissors.

koneko

You don't necessarily need to tell the Gardai to arrest her, but put it on record. She sounds psychotic. Don't trust a psychotic woman to be reasonable and not report you to the police as an abusive boyfriend. You could land in trouble even though she's the purp. Put it on record.

Other than that, obviously stay away from her. If she contacts you, tell you can't deal with that and she needs some serious help.

Nickibaby*

I would get it put on record because with a weirdo like that you wouldn't know what she would do.

Don't feel bad you were only trying to get her to snap out of it, you wern't trying to hurt her and you didn't put all your force into it either.

Steer well clear because she will only do it again. And if she is grabbling weapons god knows what the outcome would be.

shellby

ok the first thing to do as already stated is cover your own ass go to the gaurds you don't have to press charges
if you want to talk to her about it then ask her to meet up in public it sounds like she just lost it. i'm not trying to defend her actions bt there could be emotions that she has suppressed due to her past and she just flipped (still not defending her actions)
the girl obviously has some issues so it's probably best not to get involved in a relationship again
if you have no interest in helping her which is completely justified then just leave her be as i said she has issues that she needs to sort out on her own a relationship will more than likely be a hinderence to her at the moment

LegacyUser

I'm obviously not still seeing her.

She just emailed me with her bank account details as i owe her some money for accidently breaking her glasses by stepping on them a week ago. I told her to forget about it and to consider it compensation for assault and that i'm not replying to any more correspondence and that she needs help.

This is putting a serious knot in my stomach.

BizzyC

definitley put it on record dude.
She could end up ruining your life if you dont.

seamus

First off, you should probably be proud at your restraint. I don't know if a lot of men, even the ones who swear they would never hit a woman could restrain themselves to that extent.

Do what the others say re: reporting it, then I would advise cutting her off completely. Ideally face-to-face in a public setting. Go for a drink, and tell her before she's had a drink. At worst, she can throw the drink in your face. Tell her honestly the reason that you can't see her anymore and leave her at it.

I wouldn't try call up to her and talk it out. As you experienced, there are sharp objects there. Also, if a domestic disturbance is reported, the Gardai will arrive and take *you* (the man) down the station, regardless of who's the aggressor.

bragan

yeah, you should definalty put it on record, because as already stated, she obviously has problems, and isn't thinking clearly. Chances are if you tell her its over, she will want revenge, so report it before you talk to her.

Keyzer

She sounds like a right Psycho. I advise you never to see her again.

For the record, why did she slap you initially?

LundiMardi

seamus wrote:

First off, you should probably be proud at your restraint. I don't know if a lot of men, even the ones who swear they would never hit a woman could restrain themselves to that extent.

Do what the others say re: reporting it, then I would advise cutting her off completely. Ideally face-to-face in a public setting. Go for a drink, and tell her before she's had a drink. At worst, she can throw the drink in your face. Tell her honestly the reason that you can't see her anymore and leave her at it.

I wouldn't try call up to her and talk it out. As you experienced, there are sharp objects there. Also, if a domestic disturbance is reported, the Gardai will arrive and take *you* (the man) down the station, regardless of who's the aggressor.

if my gf attacked me i'd restrain her, i'm a big guy and wouldn't have any problems doing it, i wouldn't hit her.

If it was a random woman who attacks me, that bitch is going down!

seamus

LundiMardi wrote:

if my gf attacked me i'd restrain her, i'm a big guy and wouldn't have any problems doing it, i wouldn't hit her.

You say that now. I'd say the exact same thing, but them again, I've never had to deal with it. I'd be shocked if I did any more than just restrain her though.

LundiMardi

seamus wrote:

You say that now. I'd say the exact same thing, but them again, I've never had to deal with it. I'd be shocked if I did any more than just restrain her though.

maybe if my gf were bigger and stronger, but she really wouldn't be hard to restrain now. But then again i can only restrain her if i know she's going to do something. Then again, I don't think i'd take to kindly to a surprise kick in the balls.

Bamby21

Definitely stay the hell away from her and i think you should also put it on record even if its only to save someone in the future getting into a similar situation with her, at least the garda will have warning that its happened before

shellby

LundiMardi wrote:

if my gf attacked me i'd restrain her, i'm a big guy and wouldn't have any problems doing it, i wouldn't hit her.

If it was a random woman who attacks me, that bitch is going down!

an ex off my was treating me really badly one night and he slapped me across the face cause i told him i'd had enough and his behaviour was bang out of order i hit him back out of pure reaction then it dawned on me what had just happened and i legged it but when your in shock you don't know how you'll react (slightly off topic i know)
but theOP behaved extremely well given the circumstances

Squirrel

It's instinct to defend yourself and I'm amazed he only hit her once, definately report it to save yourself

LegacyUser

Saying "shoudla woulda coulda" about what happened is pointless. I handled it how i did, regret the slapping her after she hit me part and got away without injury to myself or her. Thats a positive result given the nature of what happened. As i said, restraining somebody when they're fighting viciously could lead to injury to them and simply keeping distance, using my hands to fend her off and slap the scissors away and shouting at her did the trick.

Now i'm still wondering about approching the Gardai. I understand the pre-emptive nature of watching my back as she's a little unhinged but i just want to forget the whole deal. The only thing that could possibly go against me is if i caused some sort of visable injury to her whan i slapped her which i don't believe i did - but its possible i guess, given the blurryness of the moment. On the other hand i suppose she could fabricate an injury and claim it was me... but i just don't see that happening. Mind you, i didn't see that night coming either.

I just don't know.

shellby

shakenup wrote:

she's a little unhinged .

go to the gaurds she could cause alot of trouble and deny it as you might even you realise she is unstable at the mo

Wibbs

I'm firmly with the go to the police brigade. I have personal experience of a very similar situation with a good mate of mine. His wife actually attacked him with a chain over a major misunderstanding(that she was wrong about BTW). She broke two of his fingers in the process. He didn't ring the police straight away and found himself arrested two days later for assault. She decided to say that he had broken his fingers while hitting her. Now she hadn't a mark on her, but because she was a fine middle class girl and she reported him first the police took her side. It didn't help that he was much bigger than her either. I don't blame the cops. They hate these domestics and usually it's the man who's at fault in most of these cases.

In the end, she got an expensive lawyer and the house(which he had largely paid for) and custody of the kids. His own kids that had backed up his side of the story. The courts(naturally) tend to take the woman's side in cases where there are kids involved. Scary. i wouldn't have believed it if I heard it second hand.

It all worked out in the end. She went off with someone else and after many years trying he finally got custody of his kids.

Now this was an unusual and extreme case, but you must protect yourself.

I would say the same to any male or female friend of mine too. Report her now. Get it on record. Many men mightn't do this out of some weird ego thing, but I suspect you're not one of those. Good luck with it anyway.

StandnDeliver

i wouldnt trust her as far as i could throw her,if u do make a complaint or statement she will be interviewed too and as u said she may make up stuff or even hurt herself and say u did it.
id say stay the hell away,dont contact her if she emails u or fones u.ignore them

ADUB?

OP, as others have advised ' You should go to the gardai and put it on record'
This is purely to cover your ass. Not press charges etc just on record.

I cant see why you havent done this already and seem reluctant to do so, its of critical importance that you do this.

Revenge Anger etc can make people do weird things, I'm not saying she will frame you, but it is possible that she could, so you should protect yourself against that.
Please for your safety get it put on record ASAP.
Your reluctance and in-action may cost you if you dont!

Winters

shakenup wrote:

... insert post here ...

Fo' shizzle my nizzle, you aint no stinking pimp if yo let yo' ho's do that to yo' ass. You need to pimp slap that bi-atch!

Beruthiel

Winters wrote:

Fo' shizzle my nizzle, you aint no stinking pimp if yo let yo' ho's do that to yo' ass. You need to pimp slap that bi-atch!

wrong forum winters
keep it on topic!
B

Skip

Why did she slap you in the first place? Just curious :rolleyes:

nadir

Id punch her for the laugh.

Beruthiel

nadir wrote:

Id punch her for the laugh.

how about I ban you for the laugh?

another comment like that one and I will
B

nadir

Beruthiel wrote:

how about I ban you for the laugh?

another comment like that one and I will
B

ahh yeah, sure why not, I havn't been banned yet.
It's on my todo list. XD

Beruthiel

nadir wrote:

ahh yeah, sure why not, I havn't been banned yet.
It's on my todo list. XD

always happy to oblidge
B

Rodney Trotter2

nadir wrote:

Id punch her for the laugh.

Dead right. Someone like that wouldn't lash out if she could get a good slap back. Very easy for some disturbed b1tch to lash out if she thinks she can do it without fear of retribution.

No pain, no gain!!

Beruthiel

rodney
also banned
B

LegacyUser

I totally diagree with any pro-violence stance and feel the moderators are correct to ban anyone praising or condoning it.

What happened happened in a chaotic moment that highnsight can't change and i regret it even if some people think it was deserved which i don't think it ever is, even if the world was black and white But its grey and thats life. Violence is digusting in every form.

Well today i closed off all open items between me and this girl, lodging money into her account that i owed her and getting her holiday snaps on cd to post to her next week. I ended correspondence with her by asking her not to bother me again and i got this reply:

"You deserved every belt i gave you. I would repeat those blows in an instant. Don't you EVER ever forget those smarting sensations, or the bruised ego"

It says it all really and i'll keep this txt on my phone for as long as i can as a reminder to never forget how nasty it got. I was tempted to reply but am drained and am tired of this. I'm an extremely postive person and will move forward and count my blessings as i climb out of this cage, and walk with my head held high knowing i did my best with someone who is obviously a little unhinged. Thanks for the support.

Idbatterim

I dont see why those two got banned, i havent been in the situation and wouldnt like to be, but if my gf or ex went metal for some f$£"ed up reason and started hitting me and coming at me with a scissors etc, rather her than me, and by that i mean id do whatever neccessary to protect myself. Its obviously not a logical person we are dealing with, the thought came across my mind when reading this that if he was still seeing her who knows what she could get up to while hes asleep etc. She is a damn lunatic and you really should go to the guards and just cover yourself, it would be extremely silly not to in my opinion. Like Rodney says, its ridiculous they can actually get away with such abuse and know that they willl be the ones pittied and backed up by the outside world if it comes down to what happened against what actually happened! If she can give it, then why shouldnt she expect to take it? i dont agree with violence in most circumstances, and i would do the bare minimum necessary to protect myself and disable her if needed be... "First off, you should probably be proud at your restraint. I don't know if a lot of men, even the ones who swear they would never hit a woman could restrain themselves to that extent." - Seamus. like he says that is really pushing it and you should in no way feel bad or guilty or think for one second that you would ever do it again. Whos the victim here her or you?!

Nickibaby*

You handled the situation perfectly and hopefully she will leave you alone

Nickibaby*

They got banned because they said to hit her for the laugh

Praetorian

The text you received may help you get a conviction if you desire one. I think you would be mad not to report it to the gardaí.

Victor

OP, can I ask you to at the very least write your self a memo detailing what happened, when, where, time, etc.

I would also suggest you go to the Garda or as an alternative a solicitor. Even if you don't want to press charges, there might be someone else that is at the receiving end of her violence and might need your back-up.