Quotes 'n stuff

synge

Kelsey-Our toaster and kettle got married last night
Me-And we have pictures
Kelsey-it was My Best Friend's Wedding

carlowboy wrote:

I remember there being something else in that note regarding Eamonn to which numerous "ooooh"s and such were raised

I can't remember what we put in about Eamonn. I think Weevil (Michael) said it.

Jim_Are_Great

Demon Cleaner wrote:

As far as I can remeber,the weirdest fetish from the game was from donnacha.

elephamt king wrote:

donnacha is a f***king genius

Thanks, guys, real nice. But just eff-wy-eye, it's DONNCHA. One A only. That is all.

Jade Chihuahua

THE VOICES wrote:

Go to the wardrobe, take out the minigun, kill all the RACCOONS!!!!.

God bless the voices in my head.

That is all.

Demon Cleaner

I have thought of more quotes:
"Lemons lemons lemons lemons lemons lemons....."etc
"Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes..."etc
Also
"I told you Sanjay,you've got to stop collecting people.Its illegal in this country.You will be arrested!You were collecting them with your EYES!You don't love me anymore Sanjay!"
I have heard a new pirate joke.
"Did you hear about the new pirate movie?It's rated ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"

Aoibheann

Ok....um, I have quite a few...sorry for the lateness, I was at the gaeltacht. So, yeah, here we go.

First, the ultimate responses to everything.
'So's your face.'
'Yer ma.'
'That's what he/she said.'
'With sexy results.'
'Bend over and I'll show you.'
'AIDAN'S MA!!!'

Now, the quotes..

Eoghan: Nobody cares when Hector (in Troy) dies.
Francis(instructor): He dies? *feigns shock*

Claire(TA): I'm going to take the role so I'll know you're here and not dead.

Eoghan: Then why did he lead him to a urinal?
Claire: Well..maybe he needed that.

Me: Mapophile?...there's gotta be a better word..
Emily: Cartophile?

Fíodhna: Incest runs in the family.

Marc: I started to lose all sense of reason in the film after the 'Jupiter and beyond the infinite' sign came up..I think, MAYBE, Stanley Kubrick made a totally random ending so people will invent fancy meanings etc, but REALLY the meaning is that there is NO MEANING!

Frances(in hypothetical conversation about a film): Yeah, I really like the film. Great use of colour......it was black and white...yeah, I dont like colours.

Suzy(in reference to random licking day); You'll get facial herpes.
Sophia: I think they're called coldsores.

Eoghan: Maybe he'll learn not to get sperm on his shorts.

Declan: If the mooauns then-
Eoghan: Mooauns? What the hell are they? Cow ions?!

Emily(to Clodagh): Have you got nails on your fingers?

Me: There's no 'I' in theme.
Marc: There is a 'me' though.

Malcolm: Can I give myself a dead arm? *punches own arm* I'm insprired. (The extra 'r' is not a typo, he did say that)

Nichola: Hah, I washed my arms...in your face!

Claire: That was really really inappropriate. If you do that again, I'll have to send you to the office...or prison.

Francis: Tour de France? Where's that?

Lizzie(pointing at her ear): Look Róisín, I lost one of my earrings.
Róisín (RA): Oh, which one?

Me(poking Yann's arm): Poooke..
Yann: Poooke...I mean, being poooked.

Lizzie: We're clicking for Aoibheann.
Me: Yesss! *proceeds to almost fall over*
Lizzie: Smooth!

Me: We can all eat Satan.
Lizzie: Yeah, fried or boiled.
Me: Aye...or....oh....devilled eggs!!
Everyone else: Oh God! *groans*

Me: Your hair's pretty.
Dónal (RA): Thanks, I grow it myself.

Declan: Nine, it's more than eight.

Marc: Assume the foetal position, Ben.

Declan/Eoghan: They need horror movies to replace fibre.

Claire: Eoghan, please stop talking crap.

Me: And then the villain wins.
Eoghan: No, the bad guy wins.
Everyone: *laughs*

Claire(to Marc): You dont get one coz you suck...and you're late.

Me(while listening to music): Heh, it's funny coz it looks like you're miming.
Claire: I was miming..

Ronan: Come stallion, you shall be mine.
Marc: With sexy results..

Emily: if someone's going down to the next village, you dont want to read twenty pages about their battles with potholes.

Declan: The US government defines 'handling your weapon' as...blah blah..etc.

Róisín(RA): Ten second rule! It takes me ten seconds to get it up!

Jack: Wouldnt it be great if there was a plural for bread...breads?
Ronan: It's pronounced 'breadi'.

Jack: Yarr! Too late I realised my children were my only two treasures.

Jack: *licks bread* I found this bread here..

Jack: Rarrr! (also 'purr')

Declan: Could you turn on the subtitles please? I'm Jewish.

Me: I want to sit down...*checks* Oh...I am sitting..

Steph: Kill then rape...(cue rambling)
Jen: Dead girls cant say no!

Ronan: You know, pirates invented it.

Eoghan: The diaper falls but you never see Tommys penis.
Ronan: Why do you sound so disappointed?

Jack(and soon everyone else): ...It would set into motion a chain of events that would cause the universe to IMPLODE-AH! *hands on face*

Marc: That was so intentional just to get into the quote book.

Jim/Donncha/HAND: I'll invade YOUR vessel!

Me: Kill you while you sleep!
Yann: Rape you while you sleep! oh...was that supposed to be 'kill you'? Ohh.

Ronan: Pirates invented grass as a means of smuggling in the colour green.

Eoghan: Allah us should stop making puns.

Marc: Why would I take the staple out? What kind of sick monster do you think I am?

Ronan: You know, pirates invented clapping as a means of killing the invisible pixies around us.

Marc: I should be a professional...person..

Ronan: Every song should end in the word 'etc' because no song should ever truly end.

Jack: Why would Smithers' sperm have glasses and grey hair?

Ali: Marieke, go seduct Aidan.

Ronan: It's not quite ice, and it's not quite water. You could call it a potato.

Eoghan: As we all know, foreign people dont have feelings.

Jim: Only childs are spoiled.
Ronan: My brother's an only child.

Marc: You know the habit is the nurses outfit..
Me: Um..you mean nuns?
Marc: I said nuns..
Cat. No, you said nurses. Think you're mixing up your fetishes there.

Dónal(RA): You dont make love to me like you used to, Phil.

Liz (O' C-T): Well, you see, there was tequila involved and I didnt know locusts eat everything!

Have more elsewhere, and I'll put them up when I find them. Sorry tis so long..

doonothing

aboot time aoibheann! that quotes list is bootiful.. what bout all of jacks?

Aoibheann

I was in the gaeltacht with no 'net access, I couldnt have posted them any sooner! Jacks quotes are there, at least some of them anyway!

Edit, just been brought to my attention that I left a very important quote out. So here 'tis.

Ronan: Marc, you're being weird again, stop being so weird! Look at him, he's doing it again!!!!!!!

Piste

Suzy: People keep telling me that Jesus loves me, but I keep telling them ''No! We're just friends!''

elephamt king

Demon Cleaner wrote:

As far as I can remeber,the weirdest fetish from the game was from donnacha ,and it was:
Microphone feedback,
From a stadium,
Filled with dogs.

Or john barrys (which he tested one day in the corridor ):
Smashing your nokia 3510i,
With a 0 button that doesn't work,
Off the ground.

Its a fun game.

there were some hilarious ones i.e.
uphill parade in particular and poorly planned parades in general.
being thrown in the air.
hydrogen or nitrogen pants.
cluedo
burning cluedo (or indeed any S&M involving cluedo)

and (as was suggested by most people we asked)

infants

elephamt king

Undergod wrote:

That was hillarious.


We wish you many measures of joy suggestion
We wish you many measures of joy suggestion
We wish you many measures of joy suggestion
And an enlightened future annum.

Or something.

Bill do you remember all the suggestion particle jokes going around?
they were sooooo funny.

Undergod

Dave Kiernan: What kind of idiot goes away and leaves a fat man beside his food?

modular

elephamt king wrote:

there were some hilarious ones i.e.
uphill parade in particular and poorly planned parades in general.
being thrown in the air.
hydrogen or nitrogen pants.
cluedo
burning cluedo (or indeed any S&M involving cluedo)

and (as was suggested by most people we asked)

infants

Another good one was misspelling 'Godzilla'.

I can't think of many good quotes at the moment, but I'm sure I'll come up with some soon.

TalkISCheap

modular wrote:

Another good one was misspelling 'Godzilla'.

Whoah.... The sheer nerve that must've taken....

JenLorigan

As my quotebook is all the way in the next room, I'll only be putting up some of them today. Sorry if I post any of them that're already up.

Jimmcha: I think I'll call my documentary 'Fast Animals and Slow Children'."

Dave: [After Liz kicked him in the nuts] That's just below crucifixion on the scale of nice things to do to people!"

Deidre(Instructor): "So if you ignore people, they'll like you more?"
Jimmcha: "Sure. That's why people like God so much."

Jimmcha: *knocks over table* "It's a psychological experiment testing the effects of gravity on tables"

Aonghus: "If I wanted to rape you, you'd so be impregnated by now."

Ali: "I don't need porn, I have Darran."

Liz: "Ooh, I had this dream last night that - oh, wait, that was yesterday, and it wasn't a dream, it was real."

Vinnie: "Something something organic material."
Liz: Organic, or orgasmic?"

Ivan: [when Bill was trying to bite my stomach because I was tickling him] "In some countries, that's called rape. In others, it's called fun."

Ivan: "If you were dying, what would you do?"
Steph: "Have sex with rats!"

Steph: "My religious disposition prevents me from viewing photons."

Liz: "Uh-oh, Catriona's coming. Quick, talk about something that isn't sex! Uh, uh, masturba- no! BEARS!"

Dave: "I'm in the three-legged race with Luke. I figure I just tie his ankle to my thigh, pick him up and it becomes a two-legged race with a giant talking tumour."

Danny: "There's this thing in my kitchen, I don't know what it does, but it's not doing it anymore."

Liz: [at the Talent Show]" Barry, show us your talent!"

Aonghus: "I am Random Ninja, defender of the populace!"

Guy: "Yarr, I'm Pirate Christ. I have retractable legs"

Steph: "Does anyone have a definition of dissociative personality disorder?"
Jim: *gives pen* "Here you go."
[pause]
Jim: "You asked for a pen, right?"
Steph: "Uh... No..."

David: "There once was a man from Nantucket
I killed that man."

Steph: "Shower ninjas can watch you, I mean wash you, in the shower."

Eis: "These cookies are orgasmic"
Aonghus: "Eiseart, you've clearly never had an orgasm."

Art: "There once was a man from Kerry
He's still in my fridge."

Me: *something*
Roisin: " I can't hear you over the crunching of the cookie!"

David: "There once was a man from Japan,
Who ran as fast as he can,
It wasn't fast enough."
Ivan: "It wasn't faster than a bullet."

And one from the day before CTYI (It's close enough, dammit)"
Aidan: "You couldn't sleep for the WHOLE of 2003 because you were thinking about Aonghus?"
Dave: "Yep. Sexy little bastard..."

(That made more sense in context. But I find it more entertaining not to explain it.)

Enjoy, kiddies!

Raphael

I seem to feature an illogical amount...

Piste

Since Jennykinz can put one up from the day before ctyi...I can put one up from 3 weeks after CTYI :P (It was said by an ex-CTYIer mk?)

Me: People keep thinking I work in places...
Plunky: You couldn't work here, you're wearing Big-Bird pants!

PurpleFistMixer

That rat sex thing was taken totally out of context!


I swear I harbour no sexual feelings for rodents of any kind.

JenLorigan

You were in the room mext to me. I could hear the squeaking at night!

Oh, And one I forgot:
Jimmcha: [working on what to say in his presentation]*looks down at shirt* "Ah, The Rolling Stones... They are quite good... But that's not the point."

JenLorigan

And
Liz: "Abort the foetal position!"

Aidan: "If you kick a gay guy in the nuts, does it hurt?"

(I have yet to add those to the quotebook, so feel privileged. Or something.)

Funkeyhatzrock!

Right well seeing as no one in IR seems to have put up an quotes i shall start though sinead has the list of them, these are all pretty inacurate i suck at remembering!!
'Woot!'-speaks for itself

'Jealousy leads to anger.Anger leads to hat. Hate leads to darkside' repeated 3 different times including various emotions

'smelling the roses'-me,rommmates and imogen

Walking with imogen and andrew carol(ta) is behind us unnoticed
me;'so will i go uo the lift with you or is andrew...'
Carol'No!!Anne go!' *Andrew has to go up the stairs*

Me: 'Ok! you know what no more games invovling anne's boobies!!'

Everyone 'Art Fooowwley'

Does anyone rember the exact words to the slag comment?
In fact does anyone remember all the quotes????
Aaagh at work boss is about to walk in i'll finish later.....

Feral Mutant

Most of the good quotes have been mentioned already, the ones here may be pretty inaccurate so I apologize now for the mistakes.

Barry(RA): Before I say the names of all the guys in my RA group you should know we have developed a system of affectionate nicknames for eachother so stand up when you hear your affectionate nickname. Ready 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21 and 69

(someone): One guy got yelled at by Catriona for being dressed after lights out
Me: I didn't realise it was compulsory to get naked after lights out
(at the quiz a few nights later)
Me: Hey Ian it's after half ten, time to get naked!

Guy: Hey Dave you forgot your coke
Me: Silence you fool, it can be ours.

(Eiseart's strategy for freaking out the other team's speakers in debates)
Eiseart: Stare at his crotch!

(newscasters at the talent show)
Newscaster1: You know this next song is a lot like your mother
Newscaster2: It's musically apt
Newscaster1: And of course it's a prostitute

Newscaster: You know the number 69 always reminds me of your grandmother

(at an RA meeting)
Donncha: Is it true that two girls are being treated for ringworm after eating the burgers from the canteen?
Barry: There's no comment on that
Someone: That just means it's true
(few minutes later a guy walks in with a canteen tray, eating a burger)
Guy with burger: Hey what's going on?

Raphael

Bowler said it was true, Jimacha was eating the burger

LordCran

One of the greatest things to happen in Session 2:
Mairéad: (during RA challenge at Talent Show) Kevin, can I throw your boxers at Barry?
Kevin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(Mairéad cackles wickedly as Kevin's boxers fly onstage and come to rest right beside Barry)

Then there's Cork taking over Munster:
Kevin: (after Cork-indulgent Jack Lynch project) Any questions?
Ciarán: Yes. Where is this "Cork" place of which you speak?
Kevin: (draws map of Ireland on board, highlights most of Munster) This is Cork. Nothing else matters.
Ciarán: Errr, you seem to have most of Kerry there...
Kevin: NOTHING...ELSE...MATTERS!!! (crosses out rest of Kerry)

Niall: (rants about how great the North Side is)
Ciarán: (I'm from the South Side, by the way) You've never been to Tallaght, have you?
Niall: Well, Tallaght's a colony of the North Side, in the same way Malahide's a colony of the South Side.

Phil(RA): Ok, guys, we have to come up with a song to sing at the karaoke.
Ciarán: Ooooh, let's do Shine On You Crazy Diamond part 1! (a Pink Floyd song which is about 13 minutes long and has about 1-2 minutes of singing)

Dave: (on sign for Cup Pyramid Phase 1) 17 slave labourers died in its construction.
(Phase 5 sign) Cubes are the new pyramids!

Dave: I have to work Margaret Thatcher into my [Spanish Civil War] project. I'll just say she was born after the war.
Ciarán: Margaret Thatcher was never born, she was created in a cataclysm of fire and earth.

For my last one, look at my signature. And yes, I realise that I feature in most of these quotes, but I'm funny!

synge

eating marshmallows one night.......

"GELATIN DE BOEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Feral Mutant

LordCran wrote:

One of the greatest things to happen in Session 2:
Mairéad: (during RA challenge at Talent Show) Kevin, can I throw your boxers at Barry?
Kevin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(Mairéad cackles wickedly as Kevin's boxers fly onstage and come to rest right beside Barry)

If he was so against his boxers being thrown why wasn't he wearing them at the time?

Un-Big

Grace: (Referring to the Chlamydia pants on the STI ad in the girls bathroom) I want a pair of those!!

Grace: *does buzzard impression*
Niamh: Not all fat people do that you know....

Feral Mutant

Can't believe I forgot this one

someone: It's the world's best pickup line: Does this smell like chloroform to you?
Eiseart: I remember I had that one used on me before ...... and it did smell like chloroform .... I can't remember much after that.

Mr.D.Leprachaun

I do believe that was Dylan Knapp. He rocks!

Mr.D.Leprachaun

Feral Mutant wrote:

(someone): One guy got yelled at by Catriona for being dressed after lights out.

He was in my RA group you should have heard some of our comment's on it! Bill's "cats and no pants don't mix" was the most memeroble part of the ensuing discussion in our RA meeting!

Un-Big

Mr.D.Leprachaun wrote:

He was in my RA group you should have heard some of our comment's on it! Bill's "cats and no pants don't mix" was the most memeroble part of the ensuing discussion in our RA meeting!

I was at that RA meeting! *dances* I was also at the next one till Pamela kicked me out Good times.

Piste

I swopped with one of Dónall's students for an RA meeting...

Dónall: ''First things first, why are our group only on 5 points?- Liz, do you want to answer this one?''

Undergod

Guy: Pirates invented Marilyn Manson as a means of smuggling makeup.

Bill: Pirates invented Goth as a means of smuggling transvestites.

elephamt king

lol, misspelling godzilla fetish,
anyway who remembers the food game, me, dave whyte, jimmcha,james and bill

when me and jamie (leeming) were caught by a ceratin figure of authority doing impressions of said figure of authority 4 times in one day.

JenLorigan

elephamt king wrote:

anyway who remembers the food game

This being the tray-roll-flip game?

Zounds

Piste wrote:

I swopped with one of Dónall's students for an RA meeting...

Dónall: ''First things first, why are our group only on 5 points?- Liz, do you want to answer this one?''

I don't remember that....

Yanniscaus

Zounds wrote:

I don't remember that....

probably because you were at our ra meeting (ie, robs) instead of your own, as you always were
remember the time you were hiding from pam behind the blackboard thingy, and also the general abuse we gave cotton during the meetings? ah, good times

Can't Believe i haven't seen this thread yet!

Frenchy(It had just started to rain, on the first wednesday)
"Oh, My first rain of Ireland!!!"

Frenchy(Constantly, whenever you had an open bottle)
"Can i have a Swallow?"

Frenchy again (To Maeve)
"Do you spit or Swallow?"
(then he asked Rosie, who is in fact his cousin)

The Mad Frenchman again (after he had come last in the Share competition)
"never invest in the irish Stock market!"

Who else!
"Can i have a borrow of your IPod?"

elephamt king

JenLorigan wrote:

This being the tray-roll-flip game?

no, twas the feeding david whyte food game.

Mammy

Ah Frenchy, what a hero! He phoned Brandon Levin when he was down in Galway with his family, Leland Cox and his family and four RAs. The conversation was priceless. About five minutes into it, Brandon whispered to us: "I don't have a clue what this guy is saying!" Then, when Frenchy was asked where he was in Ireland, he replied: "Somewhere between Galway and Killarney!" He is seriously one of the most comic characters I've ever met.

Outcast

Overeducation in women leads to Horrific ugliness, morbid obesity and beard growth!

TalkISCheap

I concur.

*cough*

Manda5678

Outcast wrote:

Overeducation in women leads to Horrific ugliness, morbid obesity and beard growth!

tee hee.

Undergod

Not exactly relevant, but I had written 'warning: this object may not exist' on a desk and it was written over with badly co-ordinated abuse, and the 'Fnord' c placed on the same desk had 'wtf?' beside it, so I wrote 'stfu, n00b!'. Can't wait for the response.

Mr.D.Leprachaun

*pretends to comprehend*