Thatcher, The Beatles, International History & Cork

Major McMuffin

As anyone who was in our class will tell you, IH this year had a thing for Thatcher, The Beatles and Cork.

With this thread we will try and explain ourselves, and also concoct various Thatcher-Theories.

Jack Lynch

There was supposed to be a very good theory relating to Margaret Thatcher made by Mairead and Naomi, involving, *ahem*, somebody's boxers, but they have sworn never to speak of it. :mad:

COCK

A few of us had a daring, revolutionary theory

Martin Cotton is Margerat Thatcher's love child with prince william

Does anyone else notice the uncanny resemblance between cotton and Thatcher, if only i had a picture!

LordCran

Well, I'd like to point out, once again, that the canteen food is made in Thatcher's underground labs. There is no other explanation for these insults to nature. Oh well. By the way, I'm curious now. I'll have to ask Mairéad and Naomi what this "theory" is. If Naomi won't speak, I'll just get Jessica to read out her project in all its graphic detail. As for Mairéad ... well, I'll just think up something involving Bono. And by the way, Margaret Thatcher and Cork are the important parts. Dearbhail just started talking about the Beatles because she was bored.

Jack Lynch

I think you mean Cork and Margaret Thatcher are the important parts. Remember, nothing else matters

LordCran

It's time for the Jack Lynch story! Are you sitting comfortably children? Then I'll begin.
One day, a class did projects on historical characters. There was one incredibly good-looking and respected guy who did a project on Bob Dylan. One guy called Kevin did a project on Jack Lynch. He liked Cork. When the Bob Dylan guy asked him where this "Cork" place was, he drew a map, with which he annexed most of Munster. He also wore a clown's bow tie.

the_only_Ali

Ah international history, those were the days. I did it last year and distinctly remember dressing up as Japan and making a pact with Nazi Germany to bomb the U.S. if they didn't give us Hawaii... isn't Brian just the coolest instructor ever? He even has this cool walk and a cool assortment of tshirts...

Karlusss

Aw man... pimpin'.

And when he projected that face... it got all skewed and junk...

abraham lincoln

ali, do you remember the evil plan, that shant be put into words on the internet, we had to resolve everything in the mock treaty thing we had to do? Brian was a damn cool instructor. ah the walk. Andrea was such a cool t.a. as well!

Jack Lynch

As per to Major Mcmuffin's requests, here's Thatcher Theory No. 1:

During the Student Protest in Tiannamen Square in China, Margaret Thatcher was driving a pink tank and used it to run over quite a few students.

Brian's T-shirts rock. I like T-shirts, a lot, but he wouldn't give me his Ghostbusters one!

LordCran

Let's not forget Brian's infamous "real men" remark. I will not repeat it, but someone else might *nudge nudge Kevin*.
Then there's my theory regarding Margaret Thatcher and Deng Xiaoping, premier of China in 1984, at their meeting at which Hong Kong was handed over to China. It goes something like this:
Deng: I am glad we could work this out, Mrs. Thatcher.
Thatcher: (in deep voice) Margaret Thatcher hungry. (attempts to eat Deng)
Random British politician: No Mrs. Thatcher! Wouldn't you prefer a nice newspaper cartoonist?
(Thatcher eats a cartoonist)
Cartoonist: This proves what I've been saying all al...Arrrgggghhhh!

Then there's Bono at Bloody Sunday, in Croke Park, 1920
Bono: (jumps in front of an armoured car) Noooo! Violence is not the answer!
(The car fires on him; he stops the bullets like something from the Matrix)
Bono: BONO MAD!! (he throws the armoured cars at each other)
They're better when I act them out.

Jack Lynch

Sure they are :rolleyes:

As for Brian's 'real men' comment, i missed the start. I came in when he said 'No, but i mean there is no difference between gay men and real men', or something along those lines. You tell the story, it's better from you.

LordCran

I can't really remember it, but he said something about gay men, and then the complete opposite about "real men". No doubt Squee or Mairéad would remember it better than me.

Karlusss

The topic were gay men, the comment were "but surely real men don't act like that?"

Jack Lynch

Ah yes. We never let him forget that, even if we did forget it ourselves

LordCran

Then there's the liposuction comment. As far as I can remember, it went something like this:
"Plastic surgery is stupid...except liposuction."
And now, I shall relate the story of the KGB agent. Basically, it was Kevin dressed as a KGB agent (or so he thought), with a furry hat (borrowed from Vicki), a far-too-tight coat and a blunt umbrella (both borrowed from Squee). He couldn't bend down, and he had to pretend to stab Paula. I have a photo, which I'll unleash upon the world at the reunion.

Desmoulins

Hello all- I have come to join you in reminiscing about the good ol' days in IH...and as for Margaret Thatcher- I've begun a drawing illustrating several conspiracy theories...I was inspired by the quote:

She approaches the problems of our country with all the one-dimensional subtlety of a comic-strip. - Denis Healey

What I got from that was- comic-strip Maybe I'll bring it to the reunificationalism. Oh and wasn't the 'real men' gay men thing a comment about appearance?

Karlusss

LordCran wrote:

And now, I shall relate the story of the KGB agent.

Oh, good times! That man's hips, good lord he would not last ten minutes in prison.

And then when we went out for break, he was like "Vicki, can I have the hat so I don't look ridiculous" - rather than just taking off the coat.

LordCran

Hmmm, this is a problem. I appear to have run out of stories. Well, I have more but either:
i) they're too embarrasing for those involved.
ii) they're far too explicit in some way.
iii) if I say them, Margaret Thatcher will send her flying monkeys after me.
iv) I can't remember them.
v) I can't think of a 5th reason.
In most cases, no. 4 is the guilty party. No. 1 applys when I'm involved, no. 2 applys when Squee is involved, no. 3 applys when Mairéad is involved and no. 5...speaks for itself.
Help me out here people. Post about the class...and yes, you can mention my wonderful illustrations if you want. The map of Europe which looked like Jabba the Hutt eating a Zeppelin and the horse which looked like a shapeless blob.

Dearv

heya

Actually the beatles comment was not just because i was bored it was cause of robbies beatlesesque hairstyle actually!!!!!!!! :rolleyes: and it did add 2 the fun of it
totally agree bout thatchers love child!!!!

Jack Lynch

Karlusss wrote:

Oh, good times! That man's hips, good lord he would not last ten minutes in prison.

And then when we went out for break, he was like "Vicki, can I have the hat so I don't look ridiculous" - rather than just taking off the coat.

Let's make this very clear; I could not take off the coat. I had to get help when we came back to get it off. And stop talking about my hips in a public Forum. LordCran, you'd be doing well to burn that photo.

As for the liposuction comment, it was more like 'The only plastic surgery i agree with is liposuction, and only in extreme cases.' The not-so-eternal wisdom of Matthew

By the way, Desmoulins, did you give yourself that name because i called myself Jack?

Desmoulins

Hi!

I'll admit- your name was the inspiration behind mine, but its mostly because I can remember it. Who could forget Camille? *glares at historians through the ages* And I have another two accounts on boards using both other names I usually use, so i thought hey, why not? Oh, and I don't just use the same one all the time because its easier to keep my story straight this way

Oh and could Lord Cran e-mail the aforementioned photo to us all? You did make a wonderful KGB agent, Mr. Lynch. *quells urge to mention hips* Awh, good times...

Where's the rest of our class? I feel they should be here

LordCran

Jack Lynch wrote:

Let's make this very clear; I could not take off the coat. I had to get help when we came back to get it off. And stop talking about my hips in a public Forum. LordCran, you'd be doing well to burn that photo.

As for the liposuction comment, it was more like 'The only plastic surgery i agree with is liposuction, and only in extreme cases.' The not-so-eternal wisdom of Matthew

By the way, Desmoulins, did you give yourself that name because i called myself Jack?

There should be a whole thread dedicated to Matthew's "wisdom"/shouting out random things in public. And another dedicated to Robbie's Beatles haircut. Actually, it's illegal in 73 countries (74 on Sunday) to call that thing a hair"cut". I suggested more than once that someone go up to him with a copy of Catcher in the Rye. Hardly anyone seemed to get it, which upset me.
If we're starting a trend now of naming ourselves after the people we did projects on, then I am now Bob Dylan! My dream has come true! You can also call me the Badly-Drawn-Horse if you really want (that's going in someone's signature now).
Incidentally, I will burn that picture - if by "burn" you mean "blow up to a ridiculous size like in Father Ted and give one copy to everyone at the big August 27th reunion."
As for the rest of the class, Dave set this up (then promptly disappeared). Me (Ciarán, if you hadn't already guessed), Kevin, Karl, Tara, Dearbhail and possibly someone else I've forgotten have already posted. And yes, I know quite well who you are. You can't hide behind false names, especially when it's glaringly obvious from your name who you are (*nudgenudge* Kevin).

Jack Lynch

Should i take it that im not subtle? And i got the Catcher in the Rye reference. I just didnt want to kill Robbie, who, according to your theory, should be called Vietnam. I'll stick with manslut

Major McMuffin

Dave has returned frm exile, damn welsh.

I remember Ciarán had a fantastical theory on thatchers birth, something about a cataclysm of earth and fire.

Was the real men thing tied in with "comfortable shoes"

Jack Lynch

I dont think so. Remember, we agreed that gay men should be described as 'men in uncomfortable shoes'.

Major McMuffin

I don't remember the real men thing much anyway

Jack Lynch

Only Mairead and Stephanie know the full thing. The rest of us only have vague recollections to taunt Brian with.

Major McMuffin

well if they're out there we must find them and get the full story

Raphael

Jack Lynch wrote:

I dont think so. Remember, we agreed that gay men should be described as 'men in uncomfortable shoes'.

'The Mississippi River broke through a protective dike today. What is a protective dike? Is it a large woman that says "Don't go near there!" "But Betty-" "Don't go near there! Don't go down by the river!"... No, we can't say "dyke" on the air, we can't even say "lesbian" anymore, it's "women in comfortable shoes.'

Ah Robin WIlliams, you legend you.

Jack Lynch

Good Morning, Vietnam. One of the funiest films ever, along with Mrs. Doubtfire, Dr. Strangelove, the Naked Gun films and the Austin Powers films.