Dumped by my girlfriend of 6 yrs

LegacyUser

I suppose there are always new threads posted up here about this exact subject so its nothing new I just wanted to get it off my chest really. I am a boards user but would rather post anomasly.

I have been going out with this the most wonderfull person for 6 yrs, we meet just before we both started college and we really got on well the whole way through. Recently I found that we were getting on better than usual. I had all the plans, house, kids etc but I guess she had other ideas. She said she just didnt feel the same for me, I was more of a friend, which was good of her to be frank.

Its my own fault really, we have most of the same friends but I allowed my life to centre around her,which was comfertable for me but really not a good way to establish a relationship. She didnt like it. I might sound ok about the whole thing, more fish in the sea and all that but I really am in despair about it. I woke up and only remembered a couple of minuts later,which stung a bit. I guess that will happen for a couple of weeks yet.

I have lived with her for yrs so this is the first apt I will be moving into on my own, Im not looking foward to it. I just hope that I can move on and get this idea out of my head that she will be calling and saying that she made a mistake.

Anyways,whoever read this far, thanks for reading. I just wanted to get it off my chest as they say.

oxygen_old

Yea,in a simelar situation breakup. Its not easy but it will get better

shakaman

Without sounding patronising dude, you will move on because there is more fish in the sea. Just because there's loads of posts up here about it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt the people involved any less.

I went through the same a couple of years ago and dealt with it by going on a 6 month bender. Which didn't really solve anything, but as I was in Uni there was always plenty of people willing to join me! My grades dropped and I almost lost my place on a graduate scheme after Uni. Gradually the pain became less and I found that being single can have it's pro's too.

My advice would be get out there and socialise with new people as much as possible, even if you don't think they'd be the best craic they could open the door to a whole new bunch of friends. It's gonna hurt for a while but with the help of friends old and new, you'll get through and while you won't forget her you'll look back and wonder why you spent so long down in the dumps. (More cliches but the reason they are cliches is because they're the truth!)

Best of luck and feel free to PM me.

BeardyGit

Read www.tuckermax.com for a little hearted entertainment - It's great reading for blokes who've been dumped. Ladies, I apologise on Tuckers behalf. He wouldn't dare of course....

Seems like you have your finger on the pulse regarding what the state of affairs really were.

You'll get over it so.....

Gil

Alpha505

Hope you're feeling better OP. There's hundreds of people in Dublin going through the same thing and dozens on Boards.

Farls

Hey man,

i'm in similar situation, fair play to ya though...you kept your feelings to yourself in your post, very hard to do. You made it frank and to the point, I'm in the same mode of thinking like I know whats going on etc, but I dont want to believe it. Despair is a good word for describing it, I just tell ppl i'm broke at the moment

I really hope things pick up for you, whatever that be. It was good of her to set you straight as to what happened, my g/f done the same...nice to know where you went wrong. Just try not to spend anytime on your own, its the thinking thats the killer....i think way too much.

It seems like all us lads on boards are being dumpee's of late!

Best of luck anyway

Farlz

The Clown Man

I was in exact same situation as you (except I did the dumping!) 3 years ago. It's not easy, and don't go trying to get back with her (cause you will! ) and enjoy single life even when it might seem far worse that your old life. It's not. It's all good in the end.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply's guys,helps to talk about it. Talked about it to friends in the real world as well but it definitly helps to talk to board members about it. They says these internet message boards are full of crap but replys like the ones above really help.

Keep up the good work

Cheers

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply's guys,didnt expect any.
Really helps to talk about it. Talked to a few "real world" friends about it but it definitely helps to talk to you lot about it. They say internet message boards are full of crap but comments like those above really help ppl.

Keep up the good work and thanks again.

Kiera

This just happened to me too. Except we were only going out 2 years. I lived in his and moved out and had to find my own place. The way to get on with it is to look forward to everything. Like living on your own, doing your own thing. Its sooooo much fun. My ex has come back with his tail between his legs but now that I have my own freedom there is no way I will ever get back with him. I hope you are like me and enjoy every minute of it. Good luck and we’re all here for you for when you’re feeling down or feel like txting or mailing her. Just log on here and have a chat. It actually really helps! x x x x

WhiteWashMan

perhaps all those who have been dumped recently should meet up.

at least you know everyones single

Nevyn

oh Gods I can see it now a thread in Events called Boards.ie 'Bounce' Beers.

secret_squirrel

Thaed wrote:

oh Gods I can see it now a thread in Events called Boards.ie 'Bounce' Beers.

Nice one! Can we say it was all your idea?

OP - things will get better - you sound like you have realised what went wrong as far as your GF was concerned. Try not to beat yourself up about it. Its quite easy to focus your life around one person - indeed I have known some very long term relationships that have worked like that. Its not always the best way to be but its not a terrible crime either. Just try to chill out, put your shared life behind you and work on thinking of yourself as single again. Its going to hurt for a while - but would you prefer the alternative of it not hurting at all?

Gazza22

Ah sorry to hear about that man. May take awhile after being with the person for 6 years but it will get better.

What is the status on the friendship level now? Are you still going to be good friends? I think you should try your best to make sure your relationship with the person doesn't "go weird" (we all know that feeling). I know it may be hard to be there with that person and know that you don't have an intimate relationship but it may help you to get over the whole thing.

It would be a shame as this person, is you's still get on okay, would be a friend for life.