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Cure for laziness?
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08-08-2005 4:10pm#1
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eth0_ wrote:Wow, what a helpful reply.
Why does everyone assume that a person hates their course because they lack motivation??
The key word was maybe
It's just a possibility - I know I can NEVER learn something I don't like doing. 0 -
op i know exactly what your talking about, i have to repeat two exams for college in 8 days, i have noy started studying yet, i came into college this morning to study yet i've been here for an hour and have not started yet, i love my course the two modules i'm repeating, i hate. I'm going to try cukoo's hourly treat method and i'll let you know how i got on Good luck in the exams
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Dimitri wrote:op i know exactly what your talking about, i have to repeat two exams for college in 8 days, i have noy started studying yet, i came into college this morning to study yet i've been here for an hour and have not started yet, i love my course the two modules i'm repeating, i hate. I'm going to try cukoo's hourly treat method and i'll let you know how i got on Good luck in the exams
Gav
Ok i'm still in college and still havent studied why oh why there has to be a reason for this, op your not alone.0 -
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Actually i heartily agree with the studying with a friend thing, really helped me massively to meet up with the other bums in my course that had to repeat last year and we got really productive stuff done! unfortunately they've been away this year
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I'm another lazy fecker! I have an exam next Monday and I've done no study. Of course I told myself that I would study gradually over the summer but it didn't happen and working full time doesn't help. Last weekend I could have studied but didn't. Yesterday... nothing. And now here I am browsing boards... I know if I fail it will be all my fault... I want to give myself a good kicking. 0
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eyedrenalin wrote:Yeah, I used to be really lazy in college. I still [just discussing it at home last night] am very lazy at heart [and in some weird way, kinda proud of that] but I think I've gotten a handle on keeping myself motivated. I'm not offering this info up as a quick fix or anything like that but [below] this definitely worked for me [to some degree].
Firstly, I honestly think that lazyness [not the "I-do-enjoy-a-lie-in-on-a-saturday" kind, but the type that is really debilitating and depressing] is a mild [maybe not even mild] form of clinical depression - a recursive 'loop' of inactivity, self-criticism, mis-directed energy ["I know I should be studying now, and I'll go up to my room just as soon as Muder She Wrote is over"] and validation [making really convincing arguments for myself to excuse myself from doing anything] which builds over time and leads to a real rut.
The terrible 'loop' I find usually follows a pattern, which when I became aware of it, is easy to spot but difficult [in the beginning], but not impossible, to combat.
e.g.
Monday morning. I have a lecture at ten. I live right around the corner from the college. I wake up at twenty to ten. Get up, slowly, fumble about the house and suddenly it's half ten. No point going into the lecture late, get noticed by the lecturer, put up with embarrassment etc. I'll just get the notes. I've nothing until after lunch so i'll not bother moving until lunch time. After a few weeks of this, I stop getting up at twenty to ten, I just set the alarm for lunch time and give monday morning a skip altogether. After a while, the guilt of missing the lectures, coupled with the impending failure of exams etc. leads to self-criticism - "God, why...so lazy... get my **** together" blah blah blah... Then, I used to find that these thoughts would be appeased by my own natural instinct to defend myself and replaced with excuses like "Well, I dont really even like my course" or "It's not a mandatory class" or "**** it, it's college, everybody bums around in college, that's what it's for"... you get the idea... This can only last so long though, before the guilt returns with a vengence with a chaser of self-loathing, just to make you even worse, cutting your motivation down to zero "well... I'm definitely going to fail now, so why bother" and finally we settle into the apathy and indifference. This is when you are so deep in it, that escape seems impossible, and inactivity just forms an ever-present aspect of everyday life.
I don't know how to suggest a solution, for the same reasons that no "how to give up smoking" book has ever worked on me [I just plain love to smoke]. Non-Participation is much easier to live with than failure. No work is obviously much easier than hard work. blah blah blah.
What I would say though, is instead of looking at a solution to the "laziness" issue, I would suggest pulling back a little further [personally] and take stock of the bigger picture. I read alot, in my darkest days, about recovering alcoholics. Although it seems a little off-topic, and possibly extreme, they do have a lot to say about hitting rock bottom and learning to float back to the top. Examine your situation in as honest a manner as possible. Take a hard look at your life and ask some difficult questions.
If you're in college, Is the course you are doing really what you want to do?
If so, then what are your recurring thoughts when it comes to going to college [see above]?
If no, then why are you doing this course? Did you only do it because you felt that you had to do ANY course, because that's what you do when you leave secondary school; perhaps your parents are putting undue pressure on you to succeed [I'm only speculating here, I don't mean to be making assumptions about your personal situations]?
What would be the repercussions of a sudden or drastic change, such as dropping out of your course? What are your fears in relation to making a sudden change or a "drastic" decision? Would you have a support structure in place to help with these changes? I find that the fears of "what might be" can be crippling when it comes to making any kind of decision and trying to beat these fears is an important step.
If at this stage, you decide, "no, I'm gonna stick it out... battle on... etc" {and remember that here is no correct decision save for your own happiness and progress; I think it's terrible that our own happiness is seen as selfish, or at best a low priority- surely ensuring our own happiness is only a bad thing when it's at the expense of others?} then set it clearly in your mind. "I am here because I choose to be here". The important thing here, and it is something that took me a long time to get right, is not to just say it in some empty fashion, but to only begin to say it when you've made enough progress personally to be able to stick to it. You have enough hard, honest reflective contemplation and you'll start to believe in it. Again, referring back to the smoking analogy, there's no point saying "I'm gonna quit today" because you really are still, at heart, a smoker. It's only when you have, what alcoholics refer to as; "a moment of clarity" - some big event which forces a seachange - that you can really let it sit in your mind comfortably and use it as an asset for good, not just further weight adding to your guilt and apathy.
I've written so much here my mind is starting to slow, so I'll just leave it at this:
4 years ago, I graduated from art college and had a string of ****ty jobs but mostly stayed on the dole. A year later, I had a new-born daughter. Still with the dole, I got worse and worse and worse until my then girlfriend kicked me out on my ass and I was on my own. I had a brief fling with coke and booze, but luckily nipped it in the bud, had series of nervous breakdowns and a complete personal collapse. I nearly lost my daughter, the most important thing in the world to me, and my mind! After some serious help from my ex, the strongest most caring person in my universe, I've managed to claw back slowly a decent life for myself. I am currently trying to buy a house for myself, I have an excellent relationship with my daughter and my ex, I hold down a decent 9-5, infact my dream job, with a certain level of responsibility, I bake bread on occasion and I have never, personally, felt so good about myself. I still smoke way too much dope, but I don't let it get on top of me & I do have a problem with being over selfish. I can't tell you the amount of friends and acquaintences that I have lost/pissed off with the 'new me' [I used to be a real pushover too, but now I feel confident in getting what I want. I'm still getting used to this kind of thinking, so I've gone overboard on a few occasions and gotten 'mine' at the expense of others happiness I'll admit including some really awful amoral girl stuff]. I don't think I'll ever be truly 'finished'. You just have to keep working at it and get in the flow of cycles, ups and downs, swings and roundabouts, etc. I know I'm certainly better equiped if nothing else to deal with **** as it gets flung at me, rather than retreating to my bedroom/couch/whatever when **** gets serious.
As you can see, my modesty has taken a serious hit too! I know [reading back over this] that I sound like a real oprah-fan but I'm not some self-help nut or over-zealous, self-orientated type. I just have spent a lot of time [over!] thinking about my situation and trying to resolve it.
Hope this helps.
E
Oh and two final things.
I in no way feel that being on the dole makes a bum! That just happened to be my situation. I know plenty of people on social welfare that for whatever reasons can't get work that still make the most of their day.
And...
The only way to enjoy life is to let that which does not matter truly slide
[robbed from fight club, the most relevant piece of philosophy I've ever taken onboard] :cool:
Bravo my friend, I enjoyed that post 0 -
eyedrenalin wrote:Yeah, I used to be really lazy in college. I still [just discussing it at home last night] am very lazy at heart [and in some weird way, kinda proud of that] but I think I've gotten a handle on keeping myself motivated. I'm not offering this info up as a quick fix or anything like that but [below] this definitely worked for me [to some degree].
Firstly, I honestly think that lazyness [not the "I-do-enjoy-a-lie-in-on-a-saturday" kind, but the type that is really debilitating and depressing] is a mild [maybe not even mild] form of clinical depression - a recursive 'loop' of inactivity, self-criticism, mis-directed energy ["I know I should be studying now, and I'll go up to my room just as soon as Muder She Wrote is over"] and validation [making really convincing arguments for myself to excuse myself from doing anything] which builds over time and leads to a real rut.
The terrible 'loop' I find usually follows a pattern, which when I became aware of it, is easy to spot but difficult [in the beginning], but not impossible, to combat.
e.g.
Monday morning. I have a lecture at ten. I live right around the corner from the college. I wake up at twenty to ten. Get up, slowly, fumble about the house and suddenly it's half ten. No point going into the lecture late, get noticed by the lecturer, put up with embarrassment etc. I'll just get the notes. I've nothing until after lunch so i'll not bother moving until lunch time. After a few weeks of this, I stop getting up at twenty to ten, I just set the alarm for lunch time and give monday morning a skip altogether. After a while, the guilt of missing the lectures, coupled with the impending failure of exams etc. leads to self-criticism - "God, why...so lazy... get my **** together" blah blah blah... Then, I used to find that these thoughts would be appeased by my own natural instinct to defend myself and replaced with excuses like "Well, I dont really even like my course" or "It's not a mandatory class" or "**** it, it's college, everybody bums around in college, that's what it's for"... you get the idea... This can only last so long though, before the guilt returns with a vengence with a chaser of self-loathing, just to make you even worse, cutting your motivation down to zero "well... I'm definitely going to fail now, so why bother" and finally we settle into the apathy and indifference. This is when you are so deep in it, that escape seems impossible, and inactivity just forms an ever-present aspect of everyday life.
I don't know how to suggest a solution, for the same reasons that no "how to give up smoking" book has ever worked on me [I just plain love to smoke]. Non-Participation is much easier to live with than failure. No work is obviously much easier than hard work. blah blah blah.
What I would say though, is instead of looking at a solution to the "laziness" issue, I would suggest pulling back a little further [personally] and take stock of the bigger picture. I read alot, in my darkest days, about recovering alcoholics. Although it seems a little off-topic, and possibly extreme, they do have a lot to say about hitting rock bottom and learning to float back to the top. Examine your situation in as honest a manner as possible. Take a hard look at your life and ask some difficult questions.
If you're in college, Is the course you are doing really what you want to do?
If so, then what are your recurring thoughts when it comes to going to college [see above]?
If no, then why are you doing this course? Did you only do it because you felt that you had to do ANY course, because that's what you do when you leave secondary school; perhaps your parents are putting undue pressure on you to succeed [I'm only speculating here, I don't mean to be making assumptions about your personal situations]?
What would be the repercussions of a sudden or drastic change, such as dropping out of your course? What are your fears in relation to making a sudden change or a "drastic" decision? Would you have a support structure in place to help with these changes? I find that the fears of "what might be" can be crippling when it comes to making any kind of decision and trying to beat these fears is an important step.
If at this stage, you decide, "no, I'm gonna stick it out... battle on... etc" {and remember that here is no correct decision save for your own happiness and progress; I think it's terrible that our own happiness is seen as selfish, or at best a low priority- surely ensuring our own happiness is only a bad thing when it's at the expense of others?} then set it clearly in your mind. "I am here because I choose to be here". The important thing here, and it is something that took me a long time to get right, is not to just say it in some empty fashion, but to only begin to say it when you've made enough progress personally to be able to stick to it. You have enough hard, honest reflective contemplation and you'll start to believe in it. Again, referring back to the smoking analogy, there's no point saying "I'm gonna quit today" because you really are still, at heart, a smoker. It's only when you have, what alcoholics refer to as; "a moment of clarity" - some big event which forces a seachange - that you can really let it sit in your mind comfortably and use it as an asset for good, not just further weight adding to your guilt and apathy.
I've written so much here my mind is starting to slow, so I'll just leave it at this:
4 years ago, I graduated from art college and had a string of ****ty jobs but mostly stayed on the dole. A year later, I had a new-born daughter. Still with the dole, I got worse and worse and worse until my then girlfriend kicked me out on my ass and I was on my own. I had a brief fling with coke and booze, but luckily nipped it in the bud, had series of nervous breakdowns and a complete personal collapse. I nearly lost my daughter, the most important thing in the world to me, and my mind! After some serious help from my ex, the strongest most caring person in my universe, I've managed to claw back slowly a decent life for myself. I am currently trying to buy a house for myself, I have an excellent relationship with my daughter and my ex, I hold down a decent 9-5, infact my dream job, with a certain level of responsibility, I bake bread on occasion and I have never, personally, felt so good about myself. I still smoke way too much dope, but I don't let it get on top of me & I do have a problem with being over selfish. I can't tell you the amount of friends and acquaintences that I have lost/pissed off with the 'new me' [I used to be a real pushover too, but now I feel confident in getting what I want. I'm still getting used to this kind of thinking, so I've gone overboard on a few occasions and gotten 'mine' at the expense of others happiness I'll admit including some really awful amoral girl stuff]. I don't think I'll ever be truly 'finished'. You just have to keep working at it and get in the flow of cycles, ups and downs, swings and roundabouts, etc. I know I'm certainly better equiped if nothing else to deal with **** as it gets flung at me, rather than retreating to my bedroom/couch/whatever when **** gets serious.
As you can see, my modesty has taken a serious hit too! I know [reading back over this] that I sound like a real oprah-fan but I'm not some self-help nut or over-zealous, self-orientated type. I just have spent a lot of time [over!] thinking about my situation and trying to resolve it.
Hope this helps.
E
Oh and two final things.
I in no way feel that being on the dole makes a bum! That just happened to be my situation. I know plenty of people on social welfare that for whatever reasons can't get work that still make the most of their day.
And...
The only way to enjoy life is to let that which does not matter truly slide
[robbed from fight club, the most relevant piece of philosophy I've ever taken onboard] :cool:
Its a thread about being lazy, why would you think the people reading it would read a post that long?
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skywalker wrote:Its a thread about being lazy, why would you think the people reading it would read a post that long?
why did you post his entire message as a quote for the 2nd time on that page you tard?0 -
Just one thing to add...
I'm also a bit of a lazy bastard when it comes to studying but one thing that helps me is to do a bit of exorcise (20 press-up or something) just to get your blood flowing and you'll find it much easier to start (as starting is the hardest part). Also if you have your notes on a computer print them off. It’s much easier (for me anyway) to study from paper than a computer (plus minesweeper just keeps calling my name if I use a computer)
Of course starting them press-ups is now the problem 0 -
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