GF doesnt know when to leave

LegacyUser

I am having a problem with GF who I have been seeing for 6 mnths. She doesn't seem to know when to leave. I will elaborate, I am living at home with the parents and I have a child. When we go out she sometimes comes back to my house at say 2 in the morning or so. The problem is that at about 3 or 3:30, I would like to go to bed as my son will wake me up at 8:30 or 9. She cannot stay over as I live with my parents and my son stay's with me quite a lot and nearly always for the whole weekend. I then have to say that I am tired and I would like to go to bed. She will then normally say in a bit of a sulk "okay, okay, I am going" which is bad enough but then she does not even leave. If i mention it again she gets in a terrible mood and then I have to spend ages reassuring her. So when she leaves eventually it is now 5 in the morning and I am in a foul humour and bordering on hatred for her (when I don't get to sleep when I want I get in the worst humour).

I have tried to explain to her that I have a son and I can't be staying up all night but it seems to make no difference. The ideal situation is if I lived in my own place and she could stay over (she shares a room) but unfortunately that is not possible. The main problem is that I like her and I find this situation is driving me insane (when it is happening, I am very tempted just to tell her to f**k off). I am a person who likes to be in control of what I am doing and I generally (probably a worrying side of my personality) like to have a rough outline of what i will do during the day/evening. She doesnt seem to understand this or accept it.

the_syco

When you meet up with her again, state a time (before 12) when you need to be at home. Don't let her come back with you, stating that your son comes before her, and she must accept it. Look up this forum on other threads, and you'll see that the mum's put their kids before their bf's. You should likewise do this.

You already seem to know this, but you're afraid of losing the gf, and want some reassurance. I'm afraid I can't give it to you, but keep your chin up, and state time limits. If she starts being immature about it, tell her that she's being immature, that you have a kid, and that the kid will always come first. If she fails to understand this, I doubt she'd understand the attention you'd give your kid if you lived together with the gf.

Victor

UnReggieMiller wrote:

When we go out she sometimes comes back to my house at say 2 in the morning or so.

Maybe inviting someone back to your house at 2am and kicking them out at 3am isn't very sociable.

What stops you having her stay over in your place? Parents or son?

But otherwise yes you have a point.

chump

Is it not a bit bad form expecting your gf of six months to leave at 3am after a night out and perhaps a bit of "fun" when ye arrived in your house...

Son_of_Belial

Don't let her come back to yours in the first place. Leave her at a taxi or something. Explain to her that it'll only confuse the little fella or something.

cherrio

I think she stays because she is trying to spend time with you. You have such a hetic life and she wants some personal time with you. Make an effort to meetup during the day or ealy evening and not stay out late. Go for a walk together.

My gf does the same thing at times when work/life get hetic and she doesn't get to see me.

crazymonkey

Maybe find time for each other during the week, and leave the weekend for your son,,, But always put your child first,,,

Femelade

i know where ur coming from, i understand, i had a boyfriend that did the same thing, but he used to stay on the couch on say a sat nite, and hang around all day sunday, we would prob go out sun nite then and he'd stay sunday nite too, then head to work with me on the monday morning.

i have a daughter, so when i work all week i like to spend my time with her on the weekends, if i go out at the weekends, i always put her to bed first. eventually i had to finish it, because he just didnt get the message.

you should say it to her straight or ye will end up finished too.

[Jackass]

tell her she cant call at those times anymore because of your son, and you need sleep...you can see her the next day.

If she's normal, and not obsessed then she will understand. If she dosen't and still calls don't answer the door and say you were asleep and you didn't hear her. If she gives out, re-itterate "I told you im sleeping at those times, i have to be up early for my son, we can do something today instead...."

Eventually she'll stop...
.
Hope that helps.

pickarooney

What's the problem with her staying over? How far away does she live? It'd be a bit of a nuisance having to get taxis at 3am, so I could understand her not being too enamoured with coming back to your place then having to leave shortly after.
I'm sure there's a perfectly good reason, I just don't know what it is.
Just based on that one short post, you don't seem to like one another all that much.

Slutmonkey57b

So on the occasions when your son is staying with you, you leave him with your parents and go out on the beer? Then you're worried about whether you're going to get enough sleep after shagging the gf? Model parenting there.

Get your priorities sorted out. See the gf during the week when you don't have your son, and leave the weekends for him. Have a bit more respect for the position you're putting your parents in. I'm sure they're as tired of listening to you argue with your gf at 5am as you are.