overheard in dublin - class

yermandan

sorry if it was up before,i just think its so funny

Subject: Overheard in Dublin.


Is there a doctor in the house?

In the Omniplex a while back, a particularly boring bit of the movie was
on,
when a cry came from the dark.
Shadow at the front (shouting):
" Anyone! Is there a doctor here? Is there a doctor here?"

(Shock. Confusion.)

Voice from the back: " Here - I' m a doctor"
Voice from the front: " Sh*te film, isn' t it?" ...and sat back down
Voice from the back: " Little ba*stard - if I find ya I' ll rattle ya"

Overheard - Santry Cinema by YoYoBoy
Posted - Wednesday, 27th April 2005
*****************

Big Hitter

Playing on one of Dublin' s less salubrious golf courses I teamed up with a
little auld Dub. After I hit an unusually long (and flukey) drive the auld
fella turned to me an said
" Jaysus son, I wouldn' t go that far on me bleedin' holidays"

Overheard - Bodenstown Golf Club by Wardy
Posted - Monday, 23rd May 2005
*************

Ireland of the Welcomes!

In Roddy Boland' s in Rathmines one night I overheard a group of Italian
guys (tourists) trying to chat up two Irish girls and not getting very far.
One of the Italian' s started waxing lyrical about one of the girls and her
" beautiful pale skin"
and said: " In my country, you would be a Princess"
To which the Irish girl replied
" And in my country, you' d work in a chipper, now f**k off" .

Overheard - Roddy Bolands by Kaz
Posted - Thursday, 21st April 2005
***************

Irish Law is never Black and White

In one of the Dublin district courts during a hearing the injured party is
being questioned by the defence barrister. The barrister is really trying
to
put pressure on the defendent and questions whether he can identify his
client who alledgedly assaulted him. The injured party is sitting in the
witness box and without flinching points across the room and says
loudly...

" yer man there, the black fella."

The defence barrister looses the rag and begins ranting about being
prejudicial to his clients skin colour and so forth. The barrister
continues
along this line of attack and says indignantly to the injured party who is
still in the witness box....

" can you identify the man in this courtroom who you alledge assaulted you
without referring to his skin colour?"

The injured party looks up at the judge and then at the barrister
shrugs and says... " yeah."

The barrister asks him to do so. The injured party points again across the
court room and says...

" yer man sitting over there between the two white blokes."

Overheard - Dublin District Court by Anon
Posted - Thursday, 21st April 2005
*************

Mutant horses

My uncle was in town one day and there was a man and his son walking
infront
of him.two gardas came along on their horses and the dad says...
" take a good look at dat son coz theyre the only amimals you' ll ever see
wit a b*ll*x underneath them and a b*ll*x on top of them"

Overheard - my uncle heard it on henry street by leah
Posted - Tuesday, 26th April 2005
**************

Hill 16 banter

Hill 16, Croke Park, Dublin playing Westmeath and Jason Sherlcok becomes
embroiled in a fight with the Westmeath corner back right in front of the
Hill. One wag shouts out....

" Go on Jason, hit him with your wok!"

Overheard - Hill 16 by Darren Halpin
Posted - Wednesday, 27th April 2005
****************

Busman' s logic

My mate' s mother was walking towards a bus stop on parnell street . A bus
pulled in just before she reached the stop she went up to talk to the bus
driver.....

Mate' s mother: " What number bus is this?"

Bus driver: " Its a 40, it says so on the front"

Mate' s mother: " Yeah, but it says 40a on the side and 40c on the
back?!"

Bus driver: " Well I' m not going sideways or backwards!!!"

Overheard - a bus stop on parnell street by Aine
Posted - Friday, 29th April 2005
************


It' s a miracle!

My brother arrives into Dublin airport and is dying for a pee. He makes it
to the Gents but there' s a huge queue.He sees that the disabled toilet is
free so he decides to leg it in before he wets himself. After relieving
himself he' s coming out the door when an auld lad still waiting in the
queue for the gents sarcastically declares...

" JAYSUS, it' s a f**king miracle!' .

Good ' old style' Irish humour! My brother knew he was home!

JackKelly

yermandan wrote:

**************

Hill 16 banter

Hill 16, Croke Park, Dublin playing Westmeath and Jason Sherlcok becomes
embroiled in a fight with the Westmeath corner back right in front of the
Hill. One wag shouts out....

" Go on Jason, hit him with your wok!"

Overheard - Hill 16 by Darren Halpin
Posted - Wednesday, 27th April 2005
****************

lmao, thats a good un. That site keeps popping up. I thought some chap around here set it up?

nanook

The injured party looks up at the judge and then at the barrister
shrugs and says... " yeah."

The barrister asks him to do so. The injured party points again across the
court room and says...

" yer man sitting over there between the two white blokes."


have tosay that is the funniest thing i have seen in long time

Vamp IRL

"In my country you'd work in a chipper now f**k off"
Class

Creamy Goodness

Irish Law is never Black and White

is the best one on the site.

fish fingers

thers another one goin around about the yank in the pub who comes out of the toilet and is givin the barman some lip about there being no lock on the cubicle door. the barman without even lookin up from the pint he was pullin says" in all my life workin here i've never known anyone to rob a ****e"

Naos

Hahahah:

The sly fox

After reading a girly magazine article about conversation starters and "how to get your man to open up" I decided to try one out on my Irish boyfriend, Richie, who is normally a shy, country boy.

Me: "Rich, if you could be an animal, what would you be and why?"

Rich: "AWW!I dunno. What are you on about!?"

Me: "Ok, I'll go first. If I could be any animal I would be a fox, because I like to run, I'm sly and I have reddish hair. So, what about you..."

Rich: "Well then I'd be a fox too, so I could ride ya!"

Men!(: