What is it like to be gay in Ireland?

spahndirge

I'm just curious (pun not intended)

I can understand that the GAA areas, and anywhere not in a city in Ireland is backward, but how about cities?

I'm interested since there seems to be a division between straight and gay (in my experience) people. I do find that a lot of my friends are homophobic to the point of ignorance and I have some gay friends which annoys the **** out of me when trying to socialise at sessions.

Anyway, is there much division/ignorance/acceptance/etc.?

Riveta

to be honest within my circle of friends i have no problems! but some shall we say "scumbags" can hassle you a tad.... i live in quite a small village and some ppl know i'm gay and are fine with it....maybe i'm being a tad idealistic... you'll have to hear other ppls views on the matter.

Boston

Sometimes it's hard to see anything but all the people who only want to get in your way and stop yea from being with that person you love. Day to day you just turn a blind eye to most things and get along with people and your life. But sometimes it does get you down. Thats where friends come in.

I suppose if I had to answer the question. I'd say as good as can be expected.

damien

I love this quote.

"My only regret about being gay is that I repressed it so long. I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short." - Armistead Maupin

azezil

Sometimes I think I've just an idealistic view of the world and just don't see the bad things, in my view I've never had a negitive reaction and have never hesitated to show affection to someone I care about in any setting. Most recently a wedding, I got only positive reactions from relatives, wanting to know who my partner was... said he noticed some people throwing 'dirty looks', I didn't notice, nor was anything said to our faces.

pwd

I'd say it would be a pain in the ass. (sorry )

My uncle was forced to come out when he was diagnosed with AIDS (and Parkinsons). His eldest daughter hates him now.
I felt dreadfully sorry for him. He seemed to have everything going for him and suddenly you find out it's all a sham. I'd imagine he really loathed himself thinking of the environment he grew up and lived in. (He was an officer in the armed forces)

Enigma365

Being gay in college in Dublin is easy, in my personal experience. Might be different outside Dublin or with older people.

3rd Level students in general could care less if someone is gay or straight, in my opinion.

Roper

Yeah Guys, I've lived in dublin all my life and never had any problems
so just come out and be yourself.

pwd

My friend says the attitude is good in Dublin and Galway, but crappy in the rest of the country, including Cork, where he is from. Knew a few bisexual girls in Ennis, and a couple of bi/gay guys, and they were all open about it, so I think the attitude is good there too....still can't believe I snubbed two girls who liked eachother (as well as me) to get with my spoilt bitch of an ex.

damien

pwd wrote:

but crappy in the rest of the country, including Cork

Nah, Cork is fine. Most people are cool/indifferent about it.

Boston

Cork city might be, but can you say the same about the surrounding towns, fermoy to name but one.

Cronus333

I found em... not great attitudes when I told my friends. One won't talk to me and another said 'these things can be cured!'. Everyone else were just kinda squeemish.

jamiecake

Dublin has a great gay community, and I do enjoy it immensely.Having lived in other cities, Edinburgh, Sydney, Melbourne and Bangkok, I have seen quiet a selection of communities and I have never seen such a close environment like Dublin. It is nice how familiar it becomes. There isn’t that many bars in Dublin where you can walk in and know people in there without arranging to meet them first!

I do admit, it can be very daunting at first. But after a few months I found it to be just normal! To be able to embrace someone of the same sex in a bar means allot, and it is a taboo that cannot be done in regular bars!

Ireland has changed so much though in recent times. From what I heave heard from guys that were out in the 80’s. Ireland has become a very gay friendly place to be!

Dublin more so, there are so many gay bars to go to. And I often see guys walking around town in their camp fashion nit giving a rats! Dublin has so many identities, being gay is just one of them!]

As for down the country, I am from Co. Offaly, there “general” way of thinking is very influential and most of them do the very same things, the whole time. Being out at home brought allot of comments, all more so curious, not so much abusive. Maybe this was due to the fact that I had a great time at school, and people were probably surprised at my new way of life!

But the general census down the country is to avoid anything different.. I can see where it would be difficult for anyone living with that, and honestly I cannot see how or why they should!

That’s my thoughts on that one! Quiet surprised what speal comes out of oneself on a Sunday morning!

Boston

jamiecake wrote:

To be able to embrace someone of the same sex in a bar means allot, and it is a taboo that cannot be done in regular bars!

Not too sure about that. When I get my load on I'll make out almost anywhere.

jamiecake

ooo you feisty animal you..

jamiecake

So, would you kiss your partner in burger king on grafton street?

Boston

I wouldn't eat in burger king on grafton street. But I've held hands walking down grafton street. I've kissed in straigth bars. I know it's all a comfort thing, but when I feel most comfortable is when I'm with a few friends having a laugh over a pint, so why wouldn't I kiss my boyfriend. Whats the worst that can happen realistically? Sure most people here have seen the negative side of things, and I've been called a ****/arse ****er/whatever by more then one group of gob****es. but I'm not going to let them decide what I can do on my night out in my college bar or my local pub. The last QueerBeers was in a straight bar and the next probably will be too.

damien

LiouVille wrote:

I wouldn't eat in burger king on grafton street.

You've eaten in the one in Patrick's Street.

JamieCake, would you kiss someone that had a mouth full of Whopper? Oh. Nevermind.

jamiecake

Lol you are a feisty little one…. I wasn’t saying that you cannot kiss a person of same sex in a bar, I was just noting to the guys comment that it is allot easier to kiss in a gay bar.. He did ask "whats it like to be gay in ireland" It is an environment where there is no hostile environment whatsoever.. I have kissed guys in bars too, saying that, I have always been aware of what I was doing and to think of others too..

I think you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning...

jamiecake

LOL i would, and a whole lot more too !! :eek:

Boston

damien.m wrote:

You've eaten in the one in Patrick's Street.

I was running late for a meet up with a total fla in instinct Besides I don't do fast food anymore, messes me up.

jamiecake; That is not aggressive Joe, that is normal Joe. you siad "and it is a taboo that cannot be done in regular bars!" I was merely pointing out that that is not the case anymore.

jamiecake

and what about down the country?

damien

LiouVille wrote:

I was merely pointing out that that is not the case anymore.

It may not be verboten but I would think a large percentage of gay couples would still feel uncomfortable about public displays of affection. Have you walked down Grafton street holding hands with him during the day?

Boston

damien.m wrote:

It may not be verboten but I would think a large percentage of gay couples would still feel uncomfortable about public displays of affection. Have you walked down Grafton street holding hands with him during the day?

I'd agree, and sometimes I too feel uncomfortable. All I'm saying is when your sitting in a pub with a few mates your at ease and feel safe. So why wouldn't yea? As for Grafton street, I've walked out of college and down there during lunch time holding hands. It wasn't a conscious thing, and it doesn't happen too often. but that's more because of who might see him hold my hand then any reaction. Grafton street isn't exactly unsafe. As for the country, I couldn't comment since I'm a dube.

jamiecake

pah...

jamiecake

it is still not entirely comfortable to kiss a guy anywhere other than a gay bar.. i wish things were different, but alas, Ireland is changing and Irish minds are changing with it. it will take some time!

i stayed with friends that live in Holland, they are a gay married couple and have gay neighbors, they share a life with people that have husbands wives and kids and they are all just neighbors! differentiation does not exist

Boston

jamiecake wrote:

it is still not entirely comfortable to kiss a guy anywhere other than a gay bar.. i wish things were different, but alas, Ireland is changing and Irish minds are changing with it. it will take some time!

i stayed with friends that live in Holland, they are a gay married couple and have gay neighbors, they share a life with people that have husbands wives and kids and they are all just neighbors! differentiation does not exist

I'm still not entirely comfortablekissing a guy in public, but I'd be the same with a girl. It's a catholic/Irish thing.

jamiecake

But you have no problem with holding his hand down grafton stree?

Boston

jamiecake wrote:

But you have no problem with holding his hand down grafton stree?

Ones intimate the other isn't, for me anyway.

jamiecake

And relating it to the Irish/catholic this is a mere reflection of ones own insecurity

Boston

jamiecake wrote:

And relating it to the Irish/catholic this is a mere reflection of ones own insecurity

It's an irish/catholic thing that most people are at least slightly uneasy about showing public signs of affection to one another. It's not limited to being gay.