I am scared and tormented

LegacyUser

I have got a really big problem, i found a small lump on one of my testes about 3 months ago but i was so afraid of what it might be that didn't go to the doctor and i still haven't to date. It has grown alot.

I am very afriad, i'm getting very depressed lately and even though i know i should be going to the doctor because its serious, i am running away from the problem.

I have a pretty good idea that when i go to the hospital that i am going to be told that i have testicular cancer. This is going to ruin my whole life, i may become infertile, it may distrupt my education and worst case senario, there is a chance i could die.

The fear of all this has got me really really down, i'm thinking of my future and having nightmares of me dying constantly. My girlfriend has noticed this in the last two weeks that i'm really depressed, i just keep telling her that i am ok and then i always manage to create a happy face.

Tonight i nearly broke down crying onfront of her, i was literally very close to telling her the truth but again i ran away from the problem. I have to powerful feeling inside that i have to tell her, it seems right to tell her. But i find this very selfish, i cannot dump all of this onto her, i just don't know what to do.

I'm sorry, i just needed to get this of my chest, i'm being constantly tormented by it. I am going to try go see the doctor soon

calam

STOP BEING A MUPPET AND GO SEE A DOCTOR!!!

TODAY!!!!!!

Fanny Cradock

like calam said, GO TODAY!

don't think about it mate, just go.

if it is as serious as you believe, waiting is not going to make it go away. on the other hand, it may not be as serious as you think. possibly it's a fatty deposit!!

Please phone your doctor today. the most difficult thing is the initial step, but after that there will be people to help you if needed! also, tell your girlfriend!

Phone NOW and go TODAY!!

Talliesin

Yes, all of the bad "maybes" become more likely the longer you leave this.

Go now!

Rantorama

Very Afraid wrote:

I have got a really big problem, i found a small ump on one

Tonight i nearly broke down crying onfront of her, i was literally very close to telling her the truth but again i ran away from the problem. I have to powerful feeling inside that i have to tell her, it seems right to tell her. But i find this very selfish, i cannot dump all of this onto her, i just don't know what to do.

I am going to try go see the doctor soon

I can understand why you feel so worried I dicovered a lump on my finger a few years ago and had myself dead and burried,even before I went to a doctor.Like you I tried to ignore it and hoped it would go away.It didn't and I started to get depressed over it.(I also did not tell anyone about it)
Eventually I made the decision to tell someone and make the doctors appointment,so please tell your girlfriend the sooner you tell someone/anyone you will feel better.
Make that doctors appointment (try to blank out any thought of what if it is cancer)I know this easier said than done.
You know that the lump is not going to dissapear over night and so long as it's there you are going to worry about it,and get more and more depressed.

Also there are many, things that lump could be,none of them too serious, and even if it is a tumour it might not be cancerous.But you have to get it checked out just to be sure.

Best of luck.

R

Crucifix

If your worried about all the things that'll happen just remember the longer you leave it the worse it's going to be. You've just got to try and face up to things as best you can. Good luck at the doctors.

jimbling

Go to the doctor
I had a similar situation a few years ago, and it turned out to be a cist... no problem. But go to the doctor as soon as possible. I understand you don't really want to and anything will do as an excuse not to go... but don't let it... just go and let that be that... whatever happens happens.

if it turns out to be something serious... then sooner the better.
If it turns out to be nothing serious.. then at least you are relieved and not depressed any more....

Nevyn

go to the dr
walk into the surgey this afternoon and sit until they can see you .
It will be a long process but things arent that bleak.
They may be able to save one or at least make arrangments for you to have
kids at a further date.