Bisexuality?

Hmm_Messiah

Pinky53 wrote:

Being Bisexual is all well and good,
however, I think, alot of it comes down to society.
If ur a bisexual girl and going out with a girl, wud you be as comfortable doing all the day to day things as you wud if you were seeing a guy?

Point is, I haven't met any that are willing to be so open. Are you willing to introduce to friends...family...these are the real questions

Well I'm not a girl but yea I introduced both girlfriends and boyfriends to family and friends, would be hard not to, like pretending I'd only three limbs not four or something, and in fact I think slightly more publicly affectionate etc etc with the same sex partner; though I think that was just due to "long story" personal circumstance

Boston

Pinky53 wrote:

Being Bisexual is all well and good,
however, I think, alot of it comes down to society.
If ur a bisexual girl and going out with a girl, wud you be as comfortable doing all the day to day things as you wud if you were seeing a guy?

Point is, I haven't met any that are willing to be so open. Are you willing to introdce to friends...family...these are the real questions

I get what your saying, would you but willing to out yourself to friends and family, and solidify in their mind some kinda impression that you're gay, nothing that you "might" one day be going out with a guy/girl instead, and all the **** that would acompany that?

I guess I have don't just that, but it's took the best part of a year.

Housi

The bisexuality question, a scourge of the teenager and a blessing to the twenty something.

Personally a relationshipwith a woman appeals to me more than a relationship with a man. However sex with a man turns me on more than sex with a woman. During phases of being single, we can see where our deepest desires lie when comparing the two during fantasies and self-pleasure. I may be in love with a woman and going out with her for the past seven months, it's just that when the mind wanders it's more often men than women I desire sexually.

I'm sure it's an unresolved social fear but being intimate with a man just doesn't interest me at the moment. The sexual experiences I've had felt completley animal without even a sense of spirituality or anything higher than the basic act of satisfying sexual needs. Still though I'm only 21 and have a lifetime of experience to gain

BTW, hello to everyone here. This is my first time writing on a GBL forum.

MicraBoy

Hi Housi, welcome on boards.

I can really relate to what you said in your post. The difference being I got over that hurdle (or rather I crashed through it ) I think it is possible have that intimacy and love in the same way with both sexes.

tonyinuae

I'm not bisexual - not since I was 12 anyway - and yet I can't help thinking bisexuality is the natural state of human beings. Is that crazy?

I envy bisexuals their unjudgmental acceptance and appreciation of the beauty of any individual, regardless of gender. I wish I could find women (much as I adore them) sexually attractive, but it would be like being asked to fancy my sister - it would just freak me out. Unfortunate, but there it is.

In the Arab world, where I live, bisexuality (in the sense of fancying both sexes) is considered more 'normal' than it has been to date in western societies. Still a taboo of course, and roles are important in the equation, but still - it's accepted in a way. To the extent that when living in Saudi Arabia, I enjoyed being able to think of almost any attractive male I met as a potential sexual partner. That was so exciting after repressed 70s Ireland. The result of this attitude was a lot of sex, and even passionate relationships, with mainly bisexual men.

Now I have a relationship with a younger guy who is gay, not bisexual, and I find it very satisfying. There is no 'other factor' lurking in the background. he likes men (me) and so do I (him) and that's really nice. He and I might even enjoy some fun with a few others but at least they are all men, there's nothing outside our relationship that's 'foreign' in the sense of 'not-gay'.

Of course, the fact remains: there are never any guarantees - either of us might fall madly in love with someone else at any moment, and in that case, it wouldn't be much consolation to know that the new partner was of the opposite sex, it really wouldn't matter much.

Nirina

oops sory everyone! i forgot i'd posted this thread.. So back on topic; yes i'm bisexual and i was jus curious coz i wasn't too sure of my own.. So i thought to post and see what other peoples are. And i know some ppl who think it's weird or not healthy! (But they're all crap-heads!)

carbonkid

tonyinuae wrote:

I envy bisexuals their unjudgmental acceptance and appreciation of the beauty of any individual, regardless of gender. I wish I could find women (much as I adore them) sexually attractive, but it would be like being asked to fancy my sister - it would just freak me out. Unfortunate, but there it is.

Imho i dont think you'd see it that way if you were bisexual. I dated a bisexual guy before and he had this constent battle in his head over which sex he should be going out with (of course he didnt tell me all this till after we broke up) so when he was dating a girl he'd be thinking, wait is it a guy i should really be going out with?

Sometimes its easier to be put in a box, gay or stright. Been bi can then often leads to feeling like your keeping a big dark secret from your friends and ppl who mean most to you and that cant feel good.

murrno

Is it just me or is bisexuality a long phase people go through, I mean take a woman who claims she's bisexual, she goes through her life having sexual encounters, relationships...etc with both men and women but ends up with either a man or woman to spend the rest of her life with. Does that mean she'll say she is gay or straight then or will she continue to say she's bisexual even though she is in a gay or straight relationship.

It's just hard to get my mind around...I don't have a problem with bisexuality but I find a lot of people gay and straight (myself included) use it as a cover-up of the fact they're are in fact gay or straight (as some straight people crave to have bisexual/gay tendencies). BTW...don't cover-up that I'm gay, but used the words "I might be bisexaul to my family", before coming out as a lesbian because it was the easier. They could think ahh well maybe she'll still end up straight.

That is the question I just want to ask everyone...do you end up straight or gay if you're claimed bisexual? Is it something that bisexual people are a certain percentage gay and a certain percentage gay? Reason I ask this is because I went out with a girl before who claimed to be 80%gay and 20%straight...strange I know!

Nirina

Hmm, good question. I'd say bisexual ppl might end up gay or straight, if they'll end up with one person, a guy or a girl. But maybe even in that, they'll feel attracted to the opposite sex, which their partner should be ok with. Happens in straight relationships, so why not in bi/gay/lesbian relationships?

AllStar

i consider myself bisexual as i am attracted to both men and women, however i have never been with a man (yet) i often think is it somthing my family and friends should know. i did tell 2 of my best friends when i was in first year in college and as i expected they didnt care and were fully supportive. ( i did supsequently get into a 9 month relationship with one of the girls)
but as toward the family thing i dont really think its somthing they need to know, anyone have an opinion on this??

Boston

murrno wrote:

Is it just me or is bisexuality a long phase people go through, I mean take a woman who claims she's bisexual, she goes through her life having sexual encounters, relationships...etc with both men and women but ends up with either a man or woman to spend the rest of her life with. Does that mean she'll say she is gay or straight then or will she continue to say she's bisexual even though she is in a gay or straight relationship.

Say you leave Ireland and emigrate to england. Whe do you stop being Irish? For all intents and purposes after a while you're pratically English arn't you? Infact some people will start to think of themselves as english, while others will always consider themselfs irish. It's kinda like that with Bisexuality. You need to be with both sexes constantly to be Bi. It's about what's inside.

murrno

LiouVille wrote:

Say you leave Ireland and emigrate to england. Whe do you stop being Irish? For all intents and purposes after a while you're pratically English arn't you? Infact some people will start to think of themselves as english, while others will always consider themselfs irish. It's kinda like that with Bisexuality. You need to be with both sexes constantly to be Bi. It's about what's inside.

Why would you need to be with both sexes constantly to be claimed as Bi...a lesbian doesn't need to be with women constantly to prove her gayness same can be said for heterosexual males and females and gay males, they don't need to be constantly with they sex they're attracted to prove their sexuality. I really don't understand what you mean by that, if a bisexual person falls in love with either male or female...they loose their sexuality?? is that what you're trying to say?! In that case you're claiming that bisexuals never settle down into a relationship...I don't know am confused by your quote

Stark

You missed his sarcasm. Bless him. The hetero halfling freak.

murrno

Ahhhh, I get you now...am a bit slow sometimes lol:D

also in teenage girls!they just shift girls to try arrouse boys!they not really bi!just attention seekers

damien

Deleted User wrote:

they just shift girls to try arrouse boys!they not really bi!just attention seekers

I used to do the exact same!!

fortysixand2

damien.m wrote:

I used to do the exact same!!

Damien, you dog.

parker larkin

this is one of the most interesting threads I've read anywhere in a long time, excpet for Damien's bit

Seriously though, it is interesting to hear these varied opinions, and isn't it f3cking great to be able to chat about these things, 11 years ago homosexuality was still illegal here

Number6

Polly19 wrote:

It seems that bi women are allowed no respect.

No, people just don't have any respect for YOU

Zillah

murrno wrote:

Ahhhh, I get you now...am a bit slow sometimes lol:D

"Shift"

Ah, bless....

ChrisCross

Is it just me or is bisexuality a long phase people go through, I mean take a woman who claims she's bisexual, she goes through her life having sexual encounters, relationships...etc with both men and women but ends up with either a man or woman to spend the rest of her life with. Does that mean she'll say she is gay or straight then or will she continue to say she's bisexual even though she is in a gay or straight relationship.

You either give up to the pressure of people constantly wanting to box you as "Lesbian" or "Gay" or you fight that by having to constantly reaffirm yourself to everyone.

It's not great craic.

Why is it so strange to believe that some people can want and be sexually attracted to both sexes? Why would that change if you settled down? Does everyones sexual preference change when they settle down?
If your husband has a hairy chest does that mean you'll become unatracted to men without hairy chests? Ah yes, I get it, cus their husband has a penis they stop wanting vagina.

sorry for being so blunt. But it's aggrivating having to reafirm who you are, if it's a short phase or a long phase and because you are bi people feel constantly entitled (sometimes they even feel obliged) to tell you what your sexual identity is and whether you really exist or not and that you are in fact just in a transitionary phase that will pass eventually when you settle down...
Gays exist
Lesbians exist
Trans people exist
but bisexuals.. nah.. they're not real.

Thought I was out of the closet but now I'm roaming around narnia with a bunch of other fictional characters.
The lion, the witch and the bisexual!

Shellie13

AllStar wrote:

but as toward the family thing i dont really think its somthing they need to know, anyone have an opinion on this??

Ya i think itd be easier to come out with "mam im a lesbian!" than talk any of my family thorough implications of bi-sexuality! Parents met plenty of girlfriends-they just didnt know it-no need for it!
Will I tell them as i get older?-maybe only if it was something really serious with a girl n i wanted them to know!
What ye think about this-easier to tell them your bi or gay or what?

shay_562

What ye think about this-easier to tell them your bi or gay or what?

I doubt it's ever 'easy'. I'd say it depends both on your relationship with your parents and who you eventually end up with. If you're not that close to them and you end up falling in love with a guy and settling down, they don't need to know that you also fancy girls. But if you're close enough to them that you feel you're decieving them, and/or if you end up with a girl, odds are you'll have to tell them eventually, and then I don't think the fact that you also like guys will make it any better for anyone.

kraggy

will everyone stop feeling compelled to categorise!

who cares about names? homo, bi, hetero. what's the point? just have fun and get on with it...

Boston

kraggy wrote:

will everyone stop feeling compelled to categorise!

who cares about names? homo, bi, hetero. what's the point? just have fun and get on with it...

It's the way our brains work, me do it without even thinking.

carbonkid

Nidge wrote:

This thread looks like it's only purpose is saying "I Nirina just discovered there's such thing as bisexual people and I'd just like to say; I'm ok with you being bisexual". Or what do you intend with this thread?

It can seem a bit patronizing the way nirina put it but at least he/she is been open-minded in wanting to know...you be surprised the amount of people that wont even accept been bi as a possibility, alot of people think its someone who just hasnt come out of the closet yet :rolleyes:

carbonkid

ChrisCross wrote:

Why is it so strange to believe that some people can want and be sexually attracted to both sexes? Why would that change if you settled down? Does everyones sexual preference change when they settle down?
If your husband has a hairy chest does that mean you'll become unatracted to men without hairy chests? Ah yes, I get it, cus their husband has a penis they stop wanting vagina.

People are always scared of what they dont know so lets say a straight guy is settled with a bi woman then hes always thinking would you prefer to be with a woman now? We dont eat the same food all the time cause we'd get sick of it, maybe thats what he'd be thinking?

lifesucks

The whole bi thing confuses me and i am bi! Well at least i think i am anyways.

I've told some people im gay, ive told some people im bi and other people think im straight. I fell like i'm not telling the truth to anyone!!!! I'm deffinatley attracted to lads and I do get with girls a fair bit but sometimes I wonder is the getting with girls just an ego thing. I've always felt fully sure of myself and how i felt but only since i have started to tell people have started to question myself.

I fell like I have to categorise myself to people but the more I tell people the more i start to question myself. Up untill 2 or 3 weeks ago I thought i knew what i was but when i hear the words coming outa my mouth i start to question myself. Is it possible that i fit into neither gay, bi or straight?!?!:D

Goodshape

I'm sort in the same boat as yourself, Lifesucks. I've been with girls in the past and always enjoyed myself, although always questioned myself a lot in those days -- was I actually doing this because it's what I really want, or beacuse it's convieniant and what others expect of me.

Since coming out (only a few months ago and only to a few so far) I've been telling people I'm gay (rather than bi) and then, if they care to listen, I'll tell them that I'm not exactly opposed to woman either

I think that suits best for the moment as it's what I'd like to explore.. but I do get the occasional feeling of '****e, am I going to have to explain myself all over again if I end up with a girlfriend?!'.

Catagorising in this way sucks alright.. I see it being for the benifit of others rather than myself. Personaly, I just want the freedom to do what I want and who knows who I'll end up with at the end of the day.

Nevyn

Goodshape wrote:

Catagorising in this way sucks alright.. I see it being for the benifit of others rather than myself. Personaly, I just want the freedom to do what I want and who knows who I'll end up with at the end of the day.

Yup that would be my take on the whole things to. I am who I am and really unless someone is going to be in my bed or getting snogged by me or I am intrested in getting them into be or snogging them it is none of thier business.