Can it it work??

LegacyUser

Ok. ive been going out with my girlfriend for about 3 years. we get on really well, love each other alot and have been very happy together. we dont live together but we both live in the same city so we see each other regularly. the problem is this - shes been offered a job that would basically involve her going abroad for months at a time. she wouldnt even know in advance what country shed be going to or for how long. we have had periods apart in the past but never more than about 3 months. we have talked about it and would both like to stay together but know that it can be very difficult when you dont see each other. one of the main problems i see is that this time apart may go on indefinitely. i have no real ties so i would be willing to re-locate but we cudnt even do that at the moment because she doesnt know where she will be based. im just wondering if anyone has gone through something similar to this and did it work? my main concern would be in the medium or long term.. is it likely we will both still feel the same

Sleepy

Only you know whether you'll still feel the same OP. Long distances can be very difficult to deal with and it sounds like it'll be a tough few years for ye...

Talliesin

It can work, yes.

It won't be easy though and it's led to fractures in the relationships of people who were together a lot longer than you.

That said, if you've the opportunity to perhaps follow her later, and if this can set her up well in her career at an early stage in your lives, and - most importantly - if neither of you have such responsibilities that it is or at least seems nigh on impossible to back away from a work situation that is damaging to you then the risks are less than they often are in such cases.

Raphael

Long distance can work. But they can hurt a lot as well. I would personally say your better to go for it, try and keep the relationship alive, you have nothing to lose by trying. Is she going to be in places where she can get freely available internet access? If so, you might want to get webcams so you can use them to keep in touch.

In the end of the day, you just need to decide which is the lesser of two evils:
A) Losing her.
Staying with her but not being able to be near her.

And, corny as it may sound, follow your heart. G'luck mate.

Supercell

Three years together is a long term emotional investment, she clearly likes your company a lot.

Go for it, it will be really hard to deal with though, but after three years you should have a good idea as to how tenable your relationship is.

The best person to discuss this with is your partner, you have lived with her for three years and she with you, which means the pair of you probably think alike and she's thinking along the same lines..maybe you should just say to her that you are a bit worried about it all and you trust her etc..maybe she can put your mind at rest better than a internet website?

LegacyUser

you'd be crazy to give her up dude!!! give her till the new year to see where she's being posted and buy yourself a airline ticket....

after all absence makes the heart grow fonder!!!