How soon after to call?

canavanbn@hotma

OK I'm a bit of novice when it comes to the fairer sex, so how soon after meeting a lady in a pub/club should a man text/call.
She is up for going next week, and I'm just wondering how many days should i leave it before i get in touch.
Dont want to seem too interested, heard the treat 'em mean keep em keen mantra.
Also what should tone be flirty/playful/suggestive?

WhiteWashMan

if you dont seem too interested, she will think youre not interested.

if she then finds out youa re interested, she will think you are a dickhead.

call her when you want to say hello. that could be right now, or it could be tomorrow.

but dont play games. after all, would you like it if she did?

as for tone, what are you like?
why not just pick up the phone, say hello and be yourself. why would you try and act artificially?

Kinetic^

Call her tomorrow evening

angeldelight

canavanbn@hotma wrote:

Dont want to seem too interested, heard the treat 'em mean keep em keen mantra.

Yes and we've heard it too and think guys who practice it are prats. Why not just ring her and arrange whatever you're going to do. Playing games will just mess with her head and you'll go down in her estimations!

canavanbn@hotma

Does it matter if i text or call her.
Seems easier to text? Right?

Kinetic^

canavanbn@hotma wrote:

Does it matter if i text or call her.
Seems easier to text? Right?

IMO, it doesn't matter too much. I'd wait till tomorrow and maybe drop her a text/call saying that you wanted to meet up if she's still interested. Then before you know it, its wham bam.......

WhiteWashMan

canavanbn@hotma wrote:

Does it matter if i text or call her.
Seems easier to text? Right?

have some balls and call her.

athena 2000

It matters. Call her and use your voice!
Why let one more filter "protect" you?
Texting is for friends that know you and your style of communicating.

anthonymcg

Mike: So how long do I wait to call?
Trent: A day.
Mike: Tomorrow.
Sue: Tomorrow, then a day.
Trent: Yeah.
Mike: So two days?
Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?
Sue: Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious.
Trent: But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you...
Mike: Yeah, but you know what, mabey I'll wait 3 weeks. How's that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.
Charles: Then ask her where you met her.
Mike: Yeah, I'll ask her where I met her. I don't remember. What does she look like? And then I'll asked if we ****ed. Is that... would that be... T, would that be the money?
Trent: You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.
Mike: Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?
Trent, Sue: Six days.

nesf

canavanbn@hotma wrote:

Does it matter if i text or call her.
Seems easier to text? Right?

Text her to see if she's free to take a call or sth if you are nervous about calling her straight off. But it's far better to call her and use your voice rather than txt imho.

_Turismo4

canavanbn@hotma wrote:

Does it matter if i text or call her.
Seems easier to text? Right?

I'd text.
Flirt texts are always good fun, just be creative. But not to forward.

is_that_so

Call her. Sunday is a good day. She already knows what you look like.

I wonder how these things were handled in the days before texts? :rolleyes:

And when you call just talk and be yourself.

nesf

is_that_so wrote:

I wonder how these things were handled in the days before texts? :rolleyes:

With better english grammar and spelling I suspect.

scojones

Call her for godsake, be like: "Yo babe, are you ready to get jiggy with canavanbn@hotma? If so, press 2, if not just hang up"

Sharza-

heheh, wait like a few days, but under the week mark, then one day your free ring her at like 8pm, and say "Hey whats up? been so busy this week, you free for a drink in like 1 hour?"

0utshined

anthonymcg wrote:

After which Mike went home and called her 5 times before she'd left the club

OP, yes it matters and yes you should call. Best of luck.

Aislinn

canavanbn@hotma wrote:

OK I'm a bit of novice when it comes to the fairer sex, so how soon after meeting a lady in a pub/club should a man text/call.

As soon as you get home, as in, immediately.
The longer you "make her wait", the more tense she will be when you do call. Women are tired of that game and I assure you that she will wait for no man. If she meets someone who has the courtesy and good manners to call immediately, she'll choose him. I would.

She is up for going next week, and I'm just wondering how many days should i leave it before i get in touch.
Dont want to seem too interested, heard the treat 'em mean keep em keen mantra.
Also what should tone be flirty/playful/suggestive?

I think the "treat 'em mean keep em keen" thing is nonsense. If you're serious about her, you should call her immediately and you should come across as yourself. Don't play the "part", just be you. If that's tongue-tied, all the better, as she will know you're serious and women find "tongue tied" to be charming and loveable in the extreme.

Hugs,
Your big sister,
Aislinn

Shrimp

ha

The Corinthian

Aislinn wrote:

I think the "treat 'em mean keep em keen" thing is nonsense.

Which is the reason that women never go for bastards :rolleyes:

OP - perhaps leave it a day so as not to seem too eager then call (don't text) thereafter. Don’t leave it too long whatever about calling too quickly.

Beruthiel

texting is for teenagers

Eoin

Beruthiel wrote:

texting is for teenagers

Not true whatsoever. You and WWM may see it as a "lack of balls" or juvenile thing to do, but it can be infinitely easier to send a well written* text then the almost inevitable awkward conversation that can occur when ringing someone in this type of situtation.

* as opposed to "alrite m8, wnt 2 go 4 a drnk tmrw?"

The Corinthian

eoin_s wrote:

Not true whatsoever. You and WWM may see it as a "lack of balls" or juvenile thing to do, but it can be infinitely easier to send a well written* text then the almost inevitable awkward conversation that can occur when ringing someone in this type of situtation.

I almost believed you up until you said that it was a case of being "easier".

claire h

Two days. Ish. Texting is fine. Pretending not to be interested when you clearly are is ridiculous. You can be interested without seeming clingy and desperate.

Eoin

The Corinthian wrote:

I almost believed you up until you said that it was a case of being "easier".

Sorry, a bit lost here - I meant that you can plan what to say in a text, rather than what can be an awkward phone call. Hence it can be "easier".

WhiteWashMan

eoin_s wrote:

Sorry, a bit lost here - I meant that you can plan what to say in a text, rather than what can be an awkward phone call. Hence it can be "easier".

and can you not plan what you want to say on the phone?

what, are you afriad that the woman you are talking to might find out that youarent james bond, that you are not actually that charming and a huge vocabulary, and that you arent actually witty and funny 110% of the time?

are youa fraid that you might sound a bit, well, like you?

so text out side pub, but once you have a beer, your ok then...

i think i see how life is supposed to go for you.

Eoin

WhiteWashMan wrote:

and can you not plan what you want to say on the phone?

what, are you afriad that the woman you are talking to might find out that youarent james bond, that you are not actually that charming and a huge vocabulary, and that you arent actually witty and funny 110% of the time?

are youa fraid that you might sound a bit, well, like you?

My point is that some people are not too confident over the phone, and texting someone is not a juvenile or cowardly option.

WhiteWashMan wrote:

so text out side pub, but once you have a beer, your ok then...

i think i see how life is supposed to go for you.

Can you elaborate on this? I am hoping it isn't the personal comment I think it may be.

bp

for god sake! when you leave the club or the next day text (waiting puts me off) - txt and say "hi its (insert name) from (insert place), how are you? the usual thing...a few txts later ask her if she would like to meet up with you! dont ring for the 1st contact....personally i would get freaked out! why do men make things so complicated with their 3 day rule bs?

athena 2000

eoin_s wrote:

My point is that some people are not too confident over the phone, and texting someone is not a juvenile or cowardly option.

Eoin_s, texting may not be juvenile or cowardly, but it does put another artificial barrier between two people. It seems like the OP is more worried about appearances, and not about communicating clearly. My first issue with texting is "did it get to the recipient?" Did you get a confirmation? If so, then did they read it? Are you sure?

If a girl gives a guy her mobile number, then he should at least have the confidence to TALK to her when he calls. She gave the number didn't she?
I think sjones suggestion above about press 1 for [insert name] and press 2 to hang up, might be the next million dollar idea. Funny stuff.

WhiteWashMan

bp wrote:

for god sake! when you leave the club or the next day text (waiting puts me off) - txt and say "hi its (insert name) from (insert place), how are you? the usual thing...a few txts later ask her if she would like to meet up with you! dont ring for the 1st contact....personally i would get freaked out! why do men make things so complicated with their 3 day rule bs?

mainly because they are idiots.

LegacyUser

No point making a big deal out of it...Just invite them out and give them a way out...ie "Im going out with a few friends....wanna come"...straight to the point but gives them way out without worrying/being frealed out by you sitting in a pub on your own somewhere.