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Ocular : Relating To The Eyes Or Sight

29-08-2005 11:35pm

#1

Le Rack

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Can't you see, what's right in front of you
Or do I have to slap you, with a wet mackerel.
Can you close your eyes, and see in your mind
All the truth you left beind, to chase your pretty lies.

You're standing there, a wide eyed wonder
Do you feel alone, in the middle of that crowd
Is you vision finally fixed, on that which you desire
Is your wish your true want, or do you settle for seeming best.

I see your gaze, fall upon the floor
Short sighted as you are, it fails to meet my shoes
Nor even yours, your clean black loafers, showing wear.
You look up, and our eyes meet.

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#2 01-09-2005 1:03pm

Da Bounca

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It reads like theres more to come.
Is there?

0
#3 01-09-2005 2:46pm

muesli_offire

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sudden idea - pastiche anyone?
Couplets only. Guess the poet parodied (poem if possible).
No ideas as of yet.

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#4 01-09-2005 8:19pm

Le Rack

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Da Bounca wrote:

It reads like theres more to come.
Is there?

nope that's the idea, bit of and unfinished symphony if you'll excuse the pun

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#5 01-09-2005 8:32pm

muesli_offire

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I was angry with my eye:
I put it out, my wrath did die.
I was angry with my foe:
I put his out, my wrath did grow.

0
#6 01-09-2005 9:15pm

Earthhorse

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That's good muesli.
It's William Blake's "A Poison Tree"

But you should really start a new thread.

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#7 01-09-2005 10:21pm

Le Rack

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(talk about me)

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#8 01-09-2005 10:51pm

Nidge

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Le Rack wrote:

(talk about me)

So THAT'S why you write poetry! I was wondering for a while there.

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#9 02-09-2005 5:19pm

Le Rack

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Nidge wrote:

So THAT'S why you write poetry! I was wondering for a while there.

oh shut up, I meant the poem, analyse, whatever, hence the brackets.

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#10 02-09-2005 5:37pm

Custom22

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Nidge wrote:

So THAT'S why you write poetry! I was wondering for a while there.

0
#11 02-09-2005 5:37pm

Sarky

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Back on topic ffs.

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