Good, bad, worse

daywalker

Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.

Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it.

Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other.

Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser. Worse: He looks better than you.

Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism. Worse: As a sacrifice.

Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer.

Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: For another woman.

Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: To enter a convent.

Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting. Worse: She implicates you.

Good: Hot outdoor sex. Bad: You're arrested. Worse: By your husband.

Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing camos and has an AK-47.

Good: The secretary said "yes." Bad: Your wife says "no."

Good: The teacher likes your son. Bad: Sexually. Worse: He's gay.

Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: So did the postman.

Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: Your wife walks in.

Good: You get a three-day weekend. Bad: You get the flu on Friday.

Good: You get tickets to the theatre. Bad: It's performance art.

Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.

Good: Your boyfriend's exercising. Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.

Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas." Bad: For real.

Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right". Bad: Your son, that is.

Good: Your daughter's on the Pill. Bad: She's thirteen.

Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude. Bad: He weighs 350 pounds.

Good: Your son's doing extra credit work. Bad: Making a sex ed video.

Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune. Bad: It's counterfeit.

Good: Your wife bought a porn video. Bad: Your daughter's the star.

Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex. Bad: You live downtown.

Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude. Bad: She's coming home.

Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad: With the neighbors. Worse: All of them.

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Some of them are great, similar to the Animaniacs' segment "Good idea/Bad idea". Not as effective without the animation (Mr Skullhead), but you get the idea.
GI: Playing the piccolo in a marching band.
BI: Playing the piano in a marching band.

GI: Feeding stray kittens in the park.
BI: Feeding stray kittens in the park to a bear.

GI: Stopping to smell the roses.
BI: Stopping to feel the roses.

GI: Taking a deep breath before jumping into a swimming pool.
BI: Taking a deep breath after jumping into a swimming pool.

GI: Going alpine skiing in the winter.
BI: Going alpine skiing in the summer.

GI: Kissing a loved one.
BI: Kissing a total stranger.

GI: Doing your own yard work.
BI: Doing your own dental work.

GI: Dressing up for Halloween as a pirate.
BI: Dressing up for Halloween as a pinata.

GI: Cleaning up litter.
BI: Cleaning up kitty litter.

GI: Playing the accordion at a polka festival.
BI: Playing the accordion anywhere else.

GI: Having breakfast served to you in bed.
BI: Having tennis balls served to you in bed.

GI: Whistling while you work.
BI: Whistling while you eat.

GI: Drinking fresh milk from the carton.
BI: Drinking fresh milk from the cow.

GI: Singing Christmas carols to your neighbors.
BI: Singing Christmas carols to your neighbors on the Fourth of July.

GI: Finding Easter eggs on Easter morning.
BI: Finding Easter eggs on Christmas morning.

GI: Visiting the circus.
BI: Having the circus visit you.

GI: Going trick-or-treating on Halloween.
BI: Going trick-or-treating on St Patrick's Day.

GI: Giving a small child a balloon.
BI: Giving a small child a bunch of balloons.

GI: Taking up a new hobby like bird calling.
BI: Taking up a new hobby like buffalo calling.

GI: Ordering a chili dog to go.
BI: Ordering a chili dog that makes you go.

GI: Visiting picturesque McLean, Virginia.
BI: Visiting picturesque McLean Stevenson.

GI: Tossing a penny into a fountain to make a wish.
BI: Tossing your cousin Penny into a fountain to make a wish.

GI: Giving your dog a bath.
BI: Having your dog dry-cleaned.

GI: Playing horsey with little sister.
BI: Playing horsey with your aunt Bertha.

GI: Throwing a surprise party for your father.
BI: Throwing a surprise party for your grandfather.

GI: Playing cops'n'robbers in the park.
BI: Playing cops'n'robbers in the bank.

GI: Playing catch with your grandfather.
BI: Playing catch >with< your grandfather.

GI: Playing the scales on a piano.
BI: Playing the scales on a fish.

GI: Buying a pair of shoes on sale.
BI: Buying a parachute on sale.

GI: Climbing a mountain.
BI: Climbing a mountain lion.

IceHawk

Lol! The animaniacs ones are actually a lot funnier!

Oriel

All as funny as a dead <snip> erm, as a dead...sense of humour...

TerrorFirmer

I thought all of them were pretty good...

Zapho

Quality animaniacs ones. I only wish I could find the movie clips on the net!