Seriously silly jokes!!

Healio

Two freedom fighters from the middle east walk into a Adventure shop, and start looking around, after a while they start trying on back-packs, one of them then turns around to the other and says:

"Does my bomb look big in this?"

Steoob

Healio wrote:

Two freedom fighters from the middle east walk into a Adventure shop, and start looking around, after a while they start trying on back-packs, one of them then turns around to the other and says:

"Does my bomb look big in this?"

hahaha thats brilliant

RefulgentGnomon

What's blue and fluffy?
Blue fluff

No. Pink fluff holding its breath.




Knock, Knock.
Who's There?
Gestapo.



If your nose was on strike would you picket?

ANarcho-Munk

Dizzyblabla wrote:

What's pink and fluffy?
Pink fluff

What's blue and fluffy?
Blue fluff

What's white a fluffy?
Cotton wool!!
tee hee!

no no no.

It goes like this

What do you call a pink fluffy thing?
Pink fluff

What do you call a blue fluffy thing?
Pink fluff gone cold

kawaii

What do you call a green fluffy thing?
Pink fluff when teh gangrene sets in

Jim_Are_Great

Q: What did the watermelon say to the giraffe?

A: "Dale, I'm going to jail."

greglo23

The following apparently comes from a Catholic
elementary school.It could happen...

Kids were asked questions
about the Old and New Testaments. The following
statements about the Bible were written by children.
They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.)....

In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark,
which animals come on to in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada. The Joshua led the hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she said the MagnaCarta.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also
explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone.

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which in another name for marriage.

Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony

Hank_Scorpio

Sounds accurate enough to me

Hank_Scorpio

What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?

Popeye beat him up!

WellyJ

Why is there no aspirin in the Jungle?

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Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceutical products in the largely unpopulated jungle regions.

JungleBunny

Jokes from Germany:


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in
hospital.


A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.


Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her
terribly low self-esteem.


What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.


Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their
appearance has a degree of gravitas.


How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.


Two men are sitting in a pub.
One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange
men coming in and out of your wife's house.'
The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise
her drug habit.'


Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps
out and runs away.
One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

Ishmael

greglo23 wrote:

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

lol

what did the evil roast beef say when it was put in the oven


"damn, foiled again!!"

Franky Boy

These are classics.

deisedevil

A chemist was robbed yesterday. A large amount of viagra was taken. Police are said to be looking for two hardened criminals. hee heeeeeee!!!!

great stuff, loads a stupid jokes, used sum of em at de weekend,great when drunk and stoned lol.