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9 types of girlfriends

  • 01-09-2005 10:59am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 552 ✭✭✭


    1) Ms. Nice Gal - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you
    shouldn't have"
    Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main
    squeeze, doormat
    Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly
    Disadvantages: May wise up someday

    2) Old Yeller - "You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent
    son of a b|tch! Can't you see you're making me
    miserable??"
    Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog
    from Hell
    Advantages: Pays attention to you

    Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans

    3) Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite"
    Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Glumpy
    Advantages: Predictable
    Disadvantages: Contagious

    4) The Bosser - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a
    haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't
    give me that look."
    Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and
    Chain, yes Mom
    Advantages: Often right
    Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?

    5) Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch
    my career, goals, home, and hair color?"
    Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon Honey
    Advantages: Easily soothed
    Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed

    6) Wild Woman out of Control - "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an'
    make love onna front lawn. I done it
    before. S'fun."
    Also known as: Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed out
    Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys
    Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs

    7) Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep
    snickering at"
    Also known as: No fun, humorless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition,
    iceberg, Snarly
    Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you
    Disadvantages: You will have no friends

    8) Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain
    how I feel about our relationship"
    Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad
    News, Artistic
    Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable
    Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud

    9) Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you
    are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think
    we must make love like crazed weasels now"
    Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous
    Advantages: Funny, intelligent uninhibited
    Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,487 ✭✭✭banquo


    Liked 3 and 9.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,172 ✭✭✭✭kmart6


    meh.............


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