Ex?Sex?Back together?

LegacyUser

Hello all,
Here's the long and short of it;

I was with boy (Barry) for four months.

He was going away for the summer which put a strain on relationship

We broke up/got back a couple of times before he went away

Ended up drunk one night and both said very hurtful things to each other

Decided to be friends

Didn't see him for 6wks

Met up for the first time as friends and discussed everything and decided to be friends

Then immediately after that, we ended up kissing

Decided then to just take things really slow and whatever happens etc but that we'd stay away from serious stuff ie sex etc

Ended up having sex the following day!!


Now, it all seemed right at the time (sex/kissing)
I'm mad about him and he appears to be the same about me but we are both very emotionally unbalanced and fear hurting each other.
I think we should give it a go as we both care for each other.

What are your thoughts people of Boards?!

dramaqueen

Ok so you met a guy, you liked him, you dated him.
You broke up cos he was going away.
He came back, you got back together cos you still like each other. You don't know what'll happen...

This is not the trauma you think it is...
If he hurts you, you'll deal with it and if you hurt him he'll deal with it.
Take a chance.
Whats the worst thing that could happen???

WhiteWashMan

go out with each other and have fun.

Talliesin

It's not like you originally split up because he discovered you were a kleptomaniac and had stolen his mother's jewelry or you found him in bed with your sister, your best friend and a webcam.

There was a source of strain, the source of strain is gone. Might as well give it a chance.

KillerShamrock

Been there done that, was together for 4 years broke up, got back together again a few months later, the sex was great and every thing seem to be going great.

Then everything went back to its old ways and the the great sex fizzeled down to no sex, even on a two week holiday together. Constant arguements and stuff broke up 9 months later.

My advice unless its going really well now, break up and stay friends. You might not talk for a while after, but if its meant to be it will be.
Give yourselfs at least 6 months get some space between ya's live your own life enjoy yourself dont tie yourself down. If you still have feelings for each other then try it again

Vangelis

I wouldn't say great sex is a reason to get back together. But you are obviously still in love with eachother and you find it hard to split up for good. If there is no reason now why you shouldn't get together again, then get together. But make sure nothing like that happens again because he is away from you. Distance makes the heart grow fonder!

LegacyUser

Thanks all of you.

When we get on well, we get on REALLY well but when we argue boy do we argue!!!

Thats where the problem is.... the relationship is so extreme - either huge arguments over nothing or getting on fantastic.

We're both really alike and in the space of an hour, I can go from being crazy about him to absolutely thinking he doesn't want me and thinking he's being a prick etc


Sometimes I feel like I text him too often but it's like a compulsion for me to do it


sorry for moaning

Dizzyblabla

Richie6904 wrote:

Been there done that, was together for 4 years broke up, got back together again a few months later, the sex was great and every thing seem to be going great.

Then everything went back to its old ways and the the great sex fizzeled down to no sex, even on a two week holiday together. Constant arguements and stuff broke up 9 months later.

My advice unless its going really well now, break up and stay friends. You might not talk for a while after, but if its meant to be it will be.
Give yourselfs at least 6 months get some space between ya's live your own life enjoy yourself dont tie yourself down. If you still have feelings for each other then try it again

So you're saying you regret ever going out with her? good lord, do you not have any nice memories of your relationship?

OP, go for it, enjoy yourself, if it doesn't work out, well then you can't say that you never tried!

U$ername

Jane1 wrote:

Thanks all of you.

When we get on well, we get on REALLY well but when we argue boy do we argue!!!

Thats where the problem is.... the relationship is so extreme - either huge arguments over nothing or getting on fantastic.

We're both really alike and in the space of an hour, I can go from being crazy about him to absolutely thinking he doesn't want me and thinking he's being a prick etc


Sometimes I feel like I text him too often but it's like a compulsion for me to do it


sorry for moaning

Emotion like that is great in a relationship...go for it, sometimes you'll find that the people you argue with the most are the ones you have most in common with...

dramaqueen

I have done the extreme relationship thing too and it is so much fun.
It will either eventually fizzle out or it will mellow into something calmer and better.
Mine ended badly, but I wouldn't have given it up.
Just to experience that much emotion is worth it. Breaking up is tough, but no regrets.
Enjoy it while it lasts.

ven0m

How old are both of you? Some people drive each other crazy & for whatever reason it works for them...... :rolleyes:


::: ven0mous :::

LegacyUser

I'm 21 and he's 20.

Thank u all for your advice, suppose I really am drawn to these kinds of relationships!!

I feel really insecure with him recently like he's gonna end it at any point - silly I know but gotta rant!

eyedrenalin

There's nothing particularly bad about extremity in a relationship. It's much better than mediocrity. Neither of you seem like crazies... just circumstances and fates clashing and colliding... I say unless you have a REAL feeling that the relationship will go nowhere, then what are you waiting for. Worst comes to the worst, you'll have a really interesting time together then you'll seperate in a really loud dramatic way like millions of other relationships have since time began. Godspeed!

Vangelis

I don't understand how someone can handle going like that throughout his/her life. It must get stressing never being able to find something safe and lasting. There's the fun in extreme loops, ups and downs for the rest of your life. It sounds like never getting out of puberty.

WhiteWashMan

U$ername wrote:

Emotion like that is great in a relationship...go for it, sometimes you'll find that the people you argue with the most are the ones you have most in common with...

i dont agree.
why would i want to be in a relationship where there are constant arguments?

believe it or not, you can actually have a relationship with someone that is all good.
and dont tell me that it means that your relationship has passion, it means you dont agree with someone on a lot of things.

not entirely sure about the 'most in common' statement, unless you meant things like walks talks and breathes...?

U$ername

Argue with the most <> Constant arguments


"the presentation of evidential reasoning in an attempt to persuade the listener of the correctness of the speaker's position (this usage not only covers logical arguments but also includes other forms of persuasion, such as purely emotional arguments)"...from wiki

I can only express my opinion here which is that arguments arrive as a result of explaining how you think/feel about something which I hope would be an honest way of finding someones opinion and understanding how they think

Argument was probably a bad word for it...animated honest discussion rather..