need to stop a party

gabgab

Mighty_Mouse wrote:

!!!
Let him wreck the place. If your parents have balls they'll kick him out.

Absolutely, let him destroy the place if he wants to!! Then they'l get back and kill him, if your parents give out to you explain you'v tried.... It happened to me younger and I straightened out, if people keep covering his arse he'l never learn

gabgab

BizzyC wrote:

:rolleyes:
If you read the thread you'd see that he'd wreck the house, which she doesn't want to happen..
Her brother is showing her a complete lack of respect, and he knows it too.
I'd give him a beating, but the gardai are the OP's best option.

I dont mean to post off yours Bizzy C, just one opf the many threads suggesting this and had to reply to one of them!!


Excellent idea, take a kid/adult who's clearly a bit of a live wire and introduce violence to the situation.... He will obviously respond well to it and a good beating are the best way to solve the problem!!

The problem I have with this approach is that its always the hero's that will only start a row with someone smaller than themselves that suggest it, its idiotic and advice that people who have little experience of violence often suggest.....

Jim10000

so what happened?

did you poison him?

is the house still there?

4Xcut

Let him have the party then call the garda and let him get arrested for everything. he's 18 so its no responsibility of anyone elses legally. oh yeah be helpfull to the garda. I know its a knob thing to do but he is being one too and it may even get you a free night to fix the house if the party is real bad

sroberts82

Tie him up I say.

Sifo

Don't call the cops whatever you do. This will cause some major friction between you and your brother, remember that he is your brother and eventually he will be mature and he may hold this against you.

Call your parents and just (calmly) tell them your worried about him and you think he may be up to no good!! Or if he's gullible you could lie and tell him you already called your parents and theyre coming home Sunday morning instead (i guess he'd have to be very gullible to buy it, but it's worth a try!!

Sifo

Doh!!

What happened?

trishw78

Sorry but I'd be ringing my parents if my brother ever did anything like that...

When your parents get home sit them down and explain to them that it's not fair that you have to be responsible for yourself as well as your brother who should really know better and that your close to washing your hands of him completely I know it's a little on the harsh side but your not doing yourself or him any favours for covering for him...

I love how everyone is just saying she should leave him to wreck the house and let him face the consequences. Obviously you haven't been in this position - I have and still am, being the oldest kid. All of us are really close in age but I've always been the one to have to do everything, cooking, cleaning, ironing, basically cleaning up after my siblings. When my parents go away I'm in charge, despite the fact one bro and sis are *adults* and its me who gets the blame if anything happens and I bet its the same for the OP. None of my siblings are as bad as her brother sounds but I can see how you could easily get sucked into cleaning up after parties and worrying about the house being wrecked.

I'd say the only thing to do is ring your parents and warn them. Say you're fed up of having to be the mammy now your brother is an adult and that you can't control him. I don't think ringing the guards would work as they probably have better things to do and wouldn't take it seriously.

Zaph0d

Jabari Juicy Transition wrote:

When my parents go away I'm in charge, despite the fact one bro and sis are *adults* and its me who gets the blame if anything happens and I bet its the same for the OP.

Why would you agree to these terms if they are unfair? It can be hard to trust your younger siblings with any responsibility but until you do you are left carrying the can and they will play the irresponsible roles you construct for them. It's a ridiculous situation when they are adults. Ask yourself, is it happening because you don't want to let go because you enjoy the status that comes with being left in charge, but dismayed when you find you can't bully your adult brothers and sisters?

_Turismo4

shellby wrote:

ok i know this sounds bizzare but my parents went away and left myself and my brother on our own.... for the past week he's been running riot drinking, smoking blow making a mess and shrooms getting in trouble with the gaurds missing work and generally making my life hell
my parents dont see him as responsible so he has been left him in my charge
so i've been running around after him cleaning, cokking, going to the gaurds...blah,blah,blah
then he is ever so bold as to ask can he have a party the answer is no my parents are home in 2 days and i already have enough to explain
now the thing is i have to go out tonight i don't have a choice i know it sound ridiculous but its just one of those things that i can't miss and i've gotten the impression that he is going to go ahead with the party anyway i'm at my wits end i really need advise to stop this

Sit back and do absolutely nothing and leave the house in a mess,
When your parents return and ask what the fu k happened, say talk to my brother.

shellby

i decided to stay in on friday night with a friend of mine and we had a few drinks my brother was well pi$$ed that i stayed in flipped out but my mate (male) told my brother to get out when he started saying he was gonna hit me. he stormed off but when he came back he had a few drinks with me , my bf and and mate
then on the saturday i cleaned up and made sure that verything was nice and tidy for when my parents arrived home
on saturday evening i went to see my god child and the little fu*ker had a load of his mates in the house by the time i got back
so the next day i tidied up again , everywhere bar my parents room which he had been using as his own, i told him that having it clean was his responsibility
needless to say they were none too impressed when they came home to dirty bedclothes , empty cups and plates with bit of stale food left on em can and bottles everywhere and full ashtrays all over the room

Mr. CooL ICE

Fair play to you. I think you handled it as well as you could, and i hope your parents get the message. Did you sit down and talk to them?

rubadub

Why did you clean anywhere? why clean the previous days and cook for him. Of course he is going to mess the place if he has his own little maid running after him. What dealings did you have to have with the gardai?, I would have left him there if he was being held.

Did the parents say anything to you? You should be asking them how you can stop him wrecking the place in future.

Next time Id tell the parents you are staying at a friends house and having nothing to do with him, just to see what they and he says.

Zapho

What you did was the best that you could've done in that situation. You handled it nicely and you maybe even thought your brother a lesson in maturity in the process!

dramaqueen

It strikes me that the only maturity lesson your brother will learn is if you actually let him clean up his own mess.
If he gets into trouble, let him get out of it. You are not his parent, so stop trying to be. I know it is hard to walk away from somebody you love when they need you, but sometimes you aren't doing them any favours by picking up the pieces.
If I was in your situation, I would have a family meeting where everybody, including your brother, sits down together and you get the opportunity to say how you feel. Not just to him, but to your parents. Afterall, they left you in the mess and I'm sure they know exactly what he is like. He is their responsibility and you need to make it clear that you are not prepared to accept responsibility for him again and the next time they go away, they just have to make alternative arrangements.
I would have him there and then you are not going behind his back. I would tell your parents everything that went on last week and let them deal with it. If he accuses you of dobbing him in, just point out that if he can't respect your feelings why should you respect his.

Why would you agree to these terms if they are unfair? It can be hard to trust your younger siblings with any responsibility but until you do you are left carrying the can and they will play the irresponsible roles you construct for them. It's a ridiculous situation when they are adults. Ask yourself, is it happening because you don't want to let go because you enjoy the status that comes with being left in charge, but dismayed when you find you can't bully your adult brothers and sisters?

When did I say I agreed to anything? My parents don't ask me, they just expect it. I've outright told them I'm not going to do all the housework and act like the mammy but I still end up doing it because its not worth the hassle I get if I don't. I still depend on my parents a bit financially for college and if I let the house get wrecked they wouldn't pay my college fees etc. Thats what theyre like. My youngest sister gets away with doing nothing in the house, she literally gets up and walks away leaving her plate on the table and dirty pans on the cooker because she's never been made to clean up after herself. She gets given money all the time to do what she wants and if I complain my mam says its none of my business. I hate being the oldest kid, its really unfair. My siblings give me hassle for nagging at them and resent me. They don't care that I spend every day of my holidays cleaning while they watch TV.

dramaqueen

Well I guess that's your problem right there. They don't respect you, they don't repect your parents. Why is this your problem?
I'm sure your parents won't stop paying for your tuition if you tell them your not covering for your siblings anymore. That would be downright idiotic.
If they do, respect yourself and leave. Get a part-time job and move in with friends. Lots of people support themselves during college.
But I really think you are spending way too much time stressing about your brother and sister.
It really isn't your problem. The sooner you accept that the sooner everyone else will.

shellby

LordChessington wrote:

Fair play to you. I think you handled it as well as you could, and i hope your parents get the message. Did you sit down and talk to them?

i told them exactly what went on and that i wanted something said/done about it
i told them the house was continuously in the state they're beroom was because he just didn't clean up after himself, they have spoken to him but i think the whole garda thing was they're main priority
however they were told that because of his behaviour i'm not doing it again.
i'm moving to cork in a few weeks and normally they would probably ask me to come home but they know now that they'll just have to pay someone or kick him out for the week

i appreciate all the advise i received but their were some ppl saying i was behaving like his mother.
the fact is i'm not accustomed to living in filth and wholes in the couch/carpet from smoking blow empty cans/bottles beer all over the floor ashtrays spilt all over the couch and half eated plates of food everywhere is just filth
no matter how much i wanted to i couldn't sit there and live in those conditions so yes i was cleaning up after him because trying to convince someone who is stoned / drunk and abusive 90% of the time why the should show more respect for where they live is damn near impossible

dramaqueen

I daresay it is very difficult, but the fact is that you asked people for their opinions and they gave them to you. Obviously nobody really knows what it's like so they can only say something based on their own experiences - ie if they have a brother/sister who would respond to one thing, this is what they advise. People put themselves in your brothers shoes and assume that you are mothering him. Obviously your brother has a lot of problems and to be honest, the impression I got was that he was a bit of an a$$, totally inconsiderate and immature, and a bit of a hell-raiser, not that he was a drug addict.
You were in an impossible situation and nothing you did or said would have been perfect. But you did your best and hopefully your parents appreciate that.
Look after yourself now and don't allow yourself to get into the same situation again.

28064212

Sifo wrote:

This will cause some major friction between you and your brother, remember that he is your brother and eventually he will be mature and he may hold this against you. !

That doesn't make any sense. If he matures, he's not going to hold it against her. If he stays as an immature brat, then he might. My siblings are fairly OK, they're relatively good most of the time, but I would have no hesitation calling the police on them if they pulled a stunt like this and I didn't feel my parents could stop it. I'd expect them to do the same to me. Otherwise they're just going to think it's OK to do things and not worry about the consequences

120_Minutes

Jesus, your brother sounds like a right little knacker, and your parents are even worse for dumping him on you. get out and get out now and dont come back.

Catsmokinpot

shellby wrote:

ok i know this sounds bizzare but my parents went away and left myself and my brother on our own.... for the past week he's been running riot drinking, smoking blow making a mess and shrooms getting in trouble with the gaurds missing work and generally making my life hell
my parents dont see him as responsible so he has been left him in my charge
so i've been running around after him cleaning, cokking, going to the gaurds...blah,blah,blah
then he is ever so bold as to ask can he have a party the answer is no my parents are home in 2 days and i already have enough to explain
now the thing is i have to go out tonight i don't have a choice i know it sound ridiculous but its just one of those things that i can't miss and i've gotten the impression that he is going to go ahead with the party anyway i'm at my wits end i really need advise to stop this

dude no offence but stop being a pussy and have the party. the thing you shouldn't have done was go to the guards for him thats his problem. you only live once lock all valuables/breakables in ur parents room and give the place a good spring clean when its over. live a little man, ah the memories

passive

dude no offence but stop being a pussy and have the party. the thing you shouldn't have done was go to the guards for him thats his problem. you only live once lock all valuables/breakables in ur parents room and give the place a good spring clean when its over. live a little man, ah the memories

Look over there.... It's the point :eek:. Shocking, i know, but you missed it entirely

(to the OP; you seem to have handled it well..hopefully your brother will stop being a ****head someday)