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Really Clingy Friend

  • 03-09-2005 6:44pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I have a friend who constantly needs reassurance that she is liked, wants hugs and to hang out all the time. I think she is envious that I have a pretty good social life and a large group of friends. For a period of a month or two she rang me every evening and blatherred on about her X boyfriends and the people who she suspects dont like her. I really cant stand this clinginess and constant moaning when I have things to deal with myself. I think it would be too mean of me to cut her off completely and ignore her calls as she is such a sensitive person. Its come to the point that everytime I see a missed call, I scream on the inside. The slightest thing she does or says makes me want to tear my hair out. What should I do?


Comments

  • #2
    luckat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,366 ✭✭✭luckat


    Talk to her about it. If she's that clingy with you, it's because other people don't allow her to be.

    Reassuring her won't help. She's feeding a starving beast of insecurity here, from the sound of her!


  • #3
    [Jackass]
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,193 ✭✭✭[Jackass]


    If your so popular, get your other friends to talk to her to. She can't be that bad if you've entertained her for this long, and if yourother friends are real friends, they'll help you, and more importantly, her.


  • #4
    WhiteWashMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,099 ✭✭✭✭WhiteWashMan


    why dont you ask her what her actual problems are rather than listen to her complain about rubbish, and then talk about her to complate strangers on the internet...


  • #5
    DawnMc
    Closed Accounts Posts: 539 ✭✭✭DawnMc


    Ah sounds like how I used to be..........


  • #6
    jcoote
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,968 ✭✭✭jcoote


    she seems to be cryin for help imo...have a chat with her about real things rather than her lack of ego and try to make her see that she's not a loser


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  • #7
    Sifo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 273 ✭✭Sifo


    Ah the clingon.. Ignore her, i bet she's one of those people, you know the the type, when your halfway through a conversation and your talking about something you did say Saturday night!! next thing you know she cuts in with, "i was thinking about goin out Saturday night but i've nobody to go with". All of a sudden your standing in a nightclub with her and **presto** the b*tch don't drink.. Why?? cos she's a lunatic!! Sorry for ranting on but i know someone just like this who went out with one of my mates and she just annoyed everybody!! **Genius** fix her up with one of your mates!! aye!


  • #8
    lazylad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 295 ✭✭lazylad


    well its understandable its annoying and you are doing a good job hanging in there with her. but your attitude towards her is wrong. she obviously has issues that SHE needs to solve herself. But asking her and getting close to her and finding out what the real problem is, is the best course of action. Its like using antibiotics and painkillers. Painkillers just numb the pain of infection but antibiotics kill the infection. Reasusring someone will only last so long until they feel worse again and need more, while if you ask why is she so insecure and selfconscious, and she does explain it to you, maybe that would make a big difference to her to get it off her chest and it would also make her feel appreciated that you cared enough to ask! You could advise her then to get some help and that you are there to support her when she needs, once she gets it off her chest, being with you will help her forget about it. She might not be jealous of you social status, but she might have problems that hinder her from being as successful!


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